Tuitiefruitie

Hey wanted to share some exciting firsts for me that I got to experience this weekend. I'm on day 48! I went out on my first sober date ever. Was a little nervous, but it turned out very nice. Went to opening day at a Sunday Farmers and Artist Market that I vend at. It is definitely my party playground. They sell alcohol and almost everyone drinks, customers and vendors. Just love the atmosphere. I got through that relativity easy. My drinking buddy there is 2 booths down, usually we are right next to each other, but I moved down a little. Didn't bother me that he was drinking. Then after the show I drove to visit my friend who drinks a ton. Usually when I stay with her we drink the entire time, a lot more than I normally do by myself. Then we add to our list "things we should not do while drinking", it's a pretty lengthy list. I did pretty well, we walked around with our cups, hers vodka and ruby red, mine sweet ice tea. I probably drank a gallon. She was very excited that we could actually go shopping because I could be the DD. Another first! I was going to stay another night but my willpower was starting to give way. I was starting to justify just drinking this one night since I was visiting a friend I don't get to see very often and who else would know? ME! I know how I felt when I drank last time and had to start over. It was a terrible let down. I decided the buzz would not be worth the agony it would cause. So I left, just in case I couldn't hold out!
Just wanted to say thank you for all the posts! Reading here at SR has been a godsend.

eJoshua

I'm glad things are going so well. I know for me I had to change my habits, routines and hangouts in order to stay sober and not be an irritable SOB. For me that meant getting away from old drinking buddies, old haunts and even moving out of my old home to separate myself from that environment. Maybe you're different.

jdaviscpd

First off, congrats! That's awesome TutieFruitie. And recovery is about having the freedom to enjoy life without alcohol. But BE CAREFUL. Be cautious at this early stage of the process. You have plenty of time in life to do the things you enjoy doing with friends. It may be a good idea to focus on building a solid foundation in recovery, working a program of some kind, connecting with SOBER people and maintaining sobriety for a period of time. Those thoughts and cravings can creep up when you least expect it and the mind has a wonderful way of rationalizing why it's okay for you to drink; especially "just this once." It's awesome that you are doing things that you enjoy and doing them sober. But tread very carefully this early on.. it may be a better idea to make sobriety a priority for a time. As long as your sobriety is the priority in your life, and you have a program of recovery working in your life on a daily basis, you have the freedom to do as you wish in life! But don't test yourself.. and congratulations again on 48 days!

Anna

I couldn't have done that, and really I didn't want to be around people who were drinking.

I had to make some major changes in my life in order to stay sober.

But, it's great that you got through your day.

jdaviscpd

You make a good point Anna, "...and really I didn't want to be around people who were drinking." The more I progress in recovery, the less I even WANT to be around people who are drinking. Slowly my whole idea of what's "fun" and my values are changing.. I may be able to be around people who are drinking without taking a drink, but today I don't even WANT to.. It's just not a part of my life.. which is pretty amazing and cool.

Tuitiefruitie

I guess that's the hard part for me. Wanting to keep my old life being sober. How do you know when you have to separate it? Would it be easier if I did? I think it's so difficult going through all the emotional changes when you quit, but to change everything in your life at the same time? It feels so empty sometimes.

eJoshua

Honestly it was easier for me to make a clean break with everything in my life. That way I didn't have to think about where I would compromise and where I wouldn't. I viewed it as a new phase of my life. Letting go of the old life was really hard, but once I made the decision it made my life so much easier. I went into rehab thinking that I could keep the old me but by the time I got out I realized that it was easier to embrace the new me.

Try not to think of it as something that you have to suffer through, instead try to look at the bright side: you can start with a clean slate and really reconstruct your life.

I know there are people out there that just need to get rid of the drinking thing and then they're good, but in my case my drinking was wrapped up in a self-destructive lifestyle filled with depression and despair. I had to make a clean break with it or I would have gotten sucked back in.

Don't stress about it though, you just take it one day at a time. My life changed a lot when I got sober, but all I had to do was worry about putting one foot in front of the other and before I knew it I was living a much more satisfying and rewarding life.

Hang in there.

Lanchel

HI!

I was given the advice that if you sit in the barber's chair long enough you'll get your hair cut.

Being around all that temptation takes incredible willpower, I certainly couldn't do it. Maybe you could make gradual changes to your lifestyle so it doesn't seem so drastic to you.

instant

How many of us really know how solid our recovery is? Big Plan not withstanding. I guess the more hurdles we get over, and the more temptations we stare down the more sure we can be. In time we meet many challenges and to stay on the path we have to pull out a new trick rather than drinking.

There will always be the part of me that wants to get wasted, even though it not active at the moment- managing that tendency that on a long term basis is needed to stay well. I do not expect heavy drinkers to support me on that journey or value the choices I make in order to stay well.