Dee74

sark,

if you're not eligible for affordable counselling, remember at least there's our Grief and Loss forum here - there's some reading I think you might find useful, especially in the stickies...

this website may help you access resources in your local area too?
2-1-1 Call Center Search

D

sark

First I would like to thank everyone for the encouragment. As for AA I guess doing the steps is what i need to start with. I have gone to AA many times but never did the steps. Do you need a sponsor to do the steps?

Sapling

Yeah....I'd recommend it. The steps are the solution....When they say that rarely you will see someone fail that thoroughly follows the path...That's the path...It worked for me. It can work for you too.

OCDDan

I found that for me, the craving to drink is my mind or body telling me it wants to feel better, unfortunatly, i keep mistakenly thinking alcohol is the solution. it rarely works for me, then i feel lousy for a day.

Sapling

Then you do it again...I call that repetitive ass whippings Dan...Someday you'll get tired of it....Or it will kill you.

OCDDan

True, the reason i posted that was to point out that craving don't necessarily mean we need alcohol, rather (at least for me) we just want to feel better. but thanks for the concern.

Sapling

I have concern for anybody that's killing themself Dan....I was there before.

OCDDan

Yea, thanks, but let me kill myself on my own thread, this is Sark's thread

awuh1

That’s fantastic sark! I think the steps are the way to go for you, I really do. Go to a bunch of meetings, every day if you can. Take at least a week (or two) to get to know the women in those groups. Then ask someone, with a few years of sobriety, if they would be your sponsor. Let them guide you through the steps. Just do your best. That’s all that’s required.

I’m optimistic that things are going to get better for you. Actually, I’m quite optimistic that things are about to get better.

Keep us in the loop ok?

artsoul

Give yourself some love and compassion. You've been through a lot. There's no easy fix, but there are solutions!! I agree with the counseling and/or seeing a doc or psychiatrist about depression, too. Get all the help you can - you deserve it! My psychiatrist charges $80-$125 per visit and it seemed like SO much at first, but in reality, it's less than what I would have spent in two weeks of drinking.

I feel for you - it's hard not to get sucked into the negative thinking. It's like a whirlwind that feeds on itself and it's scary because we imagine we'll never get out. The thing is, it's all just conditioned beliefs and fears, coming up for healing. So be good to yourself - get some rest - things really will get better......

Gottalife

I don't think I could have taken the steps without a kind and understanding sponsor to show me how. I doubt if I would have survived otherwise. Even my 4th step was done in the company of my sponsor. He had to explain practically every word in a way that I could understand. I was none too bright in those days

I understand what grief is like too. I lost my wife of 20 years about 5 years ago. The grief had a mind of its own, very powerful. It helped to talk to a grief counsellor if only to find out that what was happening to me was quite normal.

God bless,
MikeH.

sark

Okay so from whatvI gathered thecstes are very important..time to get started. I will keep everyone posted.

Sapling

Good for you sark...Get a sponsor and give it all you got.

Maiasaura

It helps. I didn't understand much of anything in those days, either I used to say "What does it mean to WORK the steps? They are just something you READ, no?" but boy was I wrong. They are things of action. You DO them, not just read them. And it helps to have someone guide you through that.

One thing I didn't know back then was you can get a temporary sponsor. It often turns into a permanent thing, but you can say at a meeting, to the general population, "I need a sponsor" and people may volunteer.
If I had know that, when I was getting sober, it would have made my life so much easier!