BackOnTrack2012

So I'm about two weeks into my recovery and things are finally starting to get better. My withdrawal symptoms have mostly subsided and my anxiety levels are slowly dropping. My close friend has continued to stand by me and ensure that I stay on the right path.

The biggest problem I'm having now is that I'm spending way too much time thinking. This weekend, I stayed home in an effort to avoid alcohol and temptation. I've started to wonder if life will ever be the same again. Most of my friends are heavy drinkers and they go out every weekend, which means I probably won't get to see them as much. The toughest one deals with
trips that I used to love making but are now in question. Every year, I plan a trip to Vegas for a week. It's one of my favorite destinations and now I'm worried I won't ever be able to go again. Even weekend trips to random cities like NYC worry me.

How does everyone adjust to a dramatically different lifestyle? Is this how weekends are going to be from now on?

Starcruiser

Hi Back On Track. I am 28 and I had a year up last year whilst living at Mums and I would notice that weekends would be tough for me as I suffered from FOMO (fear of missing out). I think too much too it is exhausting sometimes. I think what you could do is reward yourself on the weekend. Some ways I found to be fun:

-go see a movie, especially a comedy
-have a pigout and watch your fav dvds at home
-have a bath (if available) or go to a spa if you can afford it
-massage if you can afford it
-if you are a music lover like me, I found dancing was quite ecstatic, much more satisfying than when drunk you get a mini high, though I am into disco music, so it depends on your style. I avoid depressing music because I have enough sadness that tries to permeate my brain. I only listen to sad tunes when I am sad.
-shopping
-lose yourself in a good book
-journal


On your point about trips, yes I found the same and I have the same fears. Again, it comes down to FOMO. So I tried it to one of my old stomping grounds one weekend, had a nice meal, caught up with a mate, had a massage, bought myself a cd, but I got out of there around 6pm cos it is a party place and it is too much for me to be in that environment when others are using. I hear it gets easier but for newcomers/those in the struggle, it is best to avoid them for a bit and I found reading about those struggling on forums like this or books reminded me why I don't want to do it. I don't know what your substance is, but I am currently taking Antabuse for alcohol which will make me really sick if I drink. I used a hell of a lot of drugs as well but alcohol is my primary and also a gateway drug for me.

Something else that helped: Sat nights were hard, cos of FOMO. But Sunday mornings, I would wake up and think "Thank God I am not suffering the after effects of using". Morning is a nice time to be clean, have a nice breakfast, call a friend, go for a walk.

I hope my suggestions don't seem contrite. I partied a lot and I'm still relatively young and I guess I am still 'in the struggle'. But some of them worked for me. Just remember you're not alone. All the best.

Dee74

Change is inevitable I think BOT...but I don;t think we lose out on the deal
I couldn't live the life I used to lead because I simply grew beyond it in recovery....

Change take time too - 2 weeks is great but it's a drop in the bucket - what course your life will take now you need to grow into it...you'll find things to do and places to be and people to do it with

I always say recovery should be enjoyed not endured - but remember the journey you're on now *is* recovery - you're doing it right now...just try to take it easy for a while...this is not an overnight change

D

Anna

Yes, stopping drinking is the beginning, but I think most of us have to make some big changes in our lives, including friends.

You could try to meet your friends for coffee, or suggest an outing that doesn't involve alcohol. Getting involved in exercising or sports is a good way to meet people and volunteering in your community can be a great way to meet sober people and to feel good about yourself.

CaiHong

Congrats Backontrack,
To be honest a lot of the places I went to were only bearable if I drank. I think being with a lot of heavy drinkers would only be bearable if I drank, so why bother. if you feel you are missing out , what is it you think you are missing?
CaiHong

awuh1

IMO very little will be like it is when you have 2 weeks or 2 months or even 6 months. It’s that time in early sobriety when EVERYTHING seems to be new. You’re making your own way through mostly uncharted waters. Things are the same…. yet they are SOOOOO different. Emotions are all over the place. I remember. It’s not easy. Exciting, and even exhilarating at times, but not easy.

That’s why you have to make it as easy on yourself as you can. I found developing routines and supportive relationships (in my case through AA) helped a lot. Avoiding people who drink, and places where I would be tempted to purchase or drink alcohol was also vitally important to me. Having someone I could call (like an AA sponsor) helped when things became overwhelming.

It’s all kinda different, and you know…. that’s good.

Sapling

It won't...I used to worry about this too. My life is completely different...Better than I ever could have imagined. You have to give time...time. It will get better every day. Just don't pick up and do the next right thing. I wasted a lot of time worring about that. Then I got busy and worked on recovery...Rather than let it work on me.