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Dilemma

Old 04-19-2012, 09:15 AM
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Dilemma

I started a new job 3 weeks ago. Everything has been going well with it, especially since I am able to function on the weekends (go to school 2 days per week, so have to work the weekends). I just talked to my boss who said we are having an in-office networking happy hour on Friday. I actually verified "As in with alcohol?" and she said "Yeah, I'm getting wine and beer." Its from 4-6PM. I am slightly confused about this, as everyone drives their car to work. I'm really not sure what to do- whether or not I should be present for this. I am definitely not revealing to anyone in the office that I am a problematic drinker (stereotypes). I feel that I am strong enough not to have any and just mingle, but I know that the temptation will be there, especially since I am on the introverted side and alcohol helps to bring me out of my shell (too much eventually-lolz).
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Old 04-19-2012, 09:33 AM
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I told everyone where I worked that i was an alcoholic (they knew anyway, they were glad I was getting help).

The boss always got the employees a 40oz Canadian Club for Xmas and he asked me what he should do ??.... I said "I love Xmas fruit cake" and he got me a really nice fruit cake each year after.

Keep the secret if you want but life sure gets easier and simpler when I'm honest with folks.

All the best

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Old 04-19-2012, 09:47 AM
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I tell everyone, principally to keep myself honest but I do agree with Bob the Ostrich Guy, it clears a lot of needless prevarication out of the way.

You can also go the, I don't drink because...
I have a allergy
It doesn't agree with my tummy
I'm taking an antibiotic
It makes me break out in handcuffs

What you do, or do not, tell people is, ultimately, your business. I make sure I'm feeling solid before I put myself in a situation like that and have a way to make a quick exit. If I'm not feeling solid, i.e. stressed, upset, overly elated (good feelings can lead to an incautious moment, too) I make my excuses and stay home.

Stay safe.
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Old 04-19-2012, 09:56 AM
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I am new there and am still getting to know people, I don't want to reveal personal information to them just yet. I also think that it could affect me adversely as I rely upon co-workers for additional business in the field that I am working in right now and I really don't want them thinking I am a wild card.

Haha- makes me break out in handcuffs. Thats a good one.

I completely agree that I have to be feeling "solid" before going in. I will evaluate the HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) ranges. I think its interesting, Soberinnepa that you said "overly elated" as one of the symptoms to look out for. Looking back on things, I had my relapse when I was overly elated. I had been sober for over a month and was out for an early morning run and got really excited about it being St. Paddy's day and seeing friends and made an impulsive move to go out to the city. I didn't really even realize that as a mood to lookout for until now- good looks on that. I will keep it in mind in the future.
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Old 04-19-2012, 10:25 AM
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If you don't feel comfortable...Don't go. It's your job, that's important. If you feel like you have to be there to watch them drink....I guess you have to watch them drink. I'd say I had something else planned.
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:20 AM
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Seeing as it's 4-6pm couldn't you just say I don't drink during the day?

I've been told that it's 'vulgar to drink by the clock' but my mum always had a strict 6 o' clock rule.

Chances are though that no one will notice if you're drinking or not.

I've had to do work things with booze around and I did have to mentally prepare myself. It got a bit weird when people kept on offering me wine but I just said I'm not drinking or started asking other people if they wanted some.

I think if it's a networking thing it would be a shame not to do it because there's booze around but I'd imagine that having to do it every week would be a bit much!

Hope it goes okay x
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:41 AM
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I agree with not telling people you work with that you are an alcoholic. There are many stereotypes and preconceptions and I don't see it as a positive thing. I also think honesty is very important, but honesty doesn't mean sharing your most intimate problems.

If it was me, in the early days, I would not go. If you must go, try to stay focused on meeting new people and networking for your job.
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Old 04-19-2012, 08:26 PM
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I think it would come off really rude if I didn't go after I just started working there, they may think I believe I have better things to do than socialize with them. I've been thinking about it all day. I am going to say that I'm going to the gym right after work, aka no booze for me. I'll try to get out of there at 5 so I can spare myself another hour. I really do plan to work out. I have no desire at all to drink tomorrow, its the impulse factor that worries me.
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Old 04-19-2012, 08:27 PM
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I told everyone where I worked that i was an alcoholic
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Old 04-19-2012, 08:27 PM
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In fact, I'll say I have to make a 5:30 spin class.
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