DesperadoBlond

So,

I can't stop drinking. I'm 29.

My life is just problems and grief. My life turned out exactly as it would have in my worst night mare. There is no joy left at all.

I'm drinking again. Last night I think I drank 2 L of red wine.

I just managed to get myself a doctor's appointment. Getting referred to a shrink, in my country, is going to take weeks.

I'm feeling OK right now because yes, I am a bit drunk. Is there a solution? I am meeting the doctor in an hour. What should I say?

DesperadoBlond

I woke up this morning surprised I was still alive.

sugarbear1

Tell the doctor the truth. It's your body and life. Get the help that is offered!

Glad you are here!

NatalieN

Desperado:

Have your doctor do a complete liver profile and test for inflammation. My last check up before I got sober showed very high inflammation markers, which means my artery walls are inflammed, putting me at a very high risk for a lot of diseases, including heart attack and stroke. I am not 50 yet and still have small children at home. It was a wake up call for me.

New patient appts with specialists also take a couple of weeks or longer here in the US. Tell us what your doctor told you. best of luck

Natalie

Newatthis34

You made the first step in admitting you have a problem. I too have a problem. Although I have not gone to a doctor (I don't think my physical dependence required supervised detox, although no doubt I have a huge psychological dependence) if you are going you might as well tell the whole truth. Otherwise what's the point of going? This forum has been a lifeline for me the past few days and I'm sure will be for you too, regardless of what the doctor says. Good luck!

foodie1

Going to the doctor is the best decision DB, all the best to you

Spinach

Tell us how it all went.
You've put your feet firmly on the road to recovery.
John.

Jersey Nonny

You've actually taken the First Step toward recovery: "Admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable."

The second Step is, "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." In this instance, the power may be a physician. At least that's a move in the right direction.

Keep us informed of your progress.

DesperadoBlond

Well,

now I feel even worse unfortunately.

I ended up meeting with a doctor who barely speaks my language (he's a immigrant from the middle east). When he asked me what was bothering me, what was my biggest issue I told him I am an alcoholic and that I have issues with depression related to my parents treating me as someone who is sick because I am gay.

Very arrogant man. Printed me out a list of cognitive therapy shrinks that I can call on my own. Told me several times not to interrupt him and let him finish.

I do appreciate the benefits of tough love and I recognize that sometimes I can sound like a whiner.

Going out the hospital, the receptionist ran after me asking if it went ok. I told her that to be honest, the answer was no. I now feel worse. She said that the doctor had just started on monday and that she already had several concerns with regard to him. She insisted on taking my number and having her boss call me within the following couple of days. She insinuated that the doctor might be adversely inclined towards people who are openly gay.

What a mess.

DesperadoBlond

I am not making this up.

And it is probably my own fault. But when I let the least bit of negativity creep in, my life turns into a big DRAMA circus. It escalates and spins out of control.

And as for alcoholism, he told me that is not his department and that I should go to an addition center. If it's really urgent, then call an ambulance.

cyclegirl28

I feel the same way you do. I'm 28. Often drink 2 bottes of wine alone. Tired of living this way. At least we both recognize there is a problem. I plan to go see a doctor soon too. I think them telling me the damage I'm doing to myself will serve as more motivation to keep on the right road.

DesperadoBlond

Well this doctor sure didn't have any kind of reaction to my alcoholism. Brushed it off and asked me not to interrupt him.

Muunray

Well don't waste anymore time on that doctor and be sure to let his office know how he treated you. That was unacceptable.

2granddaughters

The only doctor that I know that can help an alcoholic is in AA.

Are you going to AA meetings?

All the best.

Bob R

cyclegirl28

Well that doctor is clearly a loser, lol. Perhaps you could look around online and see if there are any doctors who specifically list treating alcoholism?

DesperadoBlond

Hi!

I live in a smallish town these days. There are AA meetings here. I am worried about becoming known as the town alcoholic though.

maybe I need to just not care and go anyway.

Jersey Nonny

Okay...back to square one.

Have you managed not to drink today? Is there an AA meeting in your area? We actually have meetings specifically for gays and lesbians. As a matter of fact, there is a thread on here where you might feel more comfortable and can find people who relate to your specific circumstances.

If you're trying not to drink, fruit juices, water, sucking on hard candies might help.

Keep posting in SR...you WILL find the support you need.

Jersey Nonny

Well, you answered part of my question. It is Alcoholics Annonymous...everyone there has something in common with you and no right to point fingers. Concentrate on getting sober, and don't worry about what someone else may think.

DesperadoBlond

Hi you!

The fact that I am gay doesn't really cause me much grief in life - apart from my parents, with whom I live right now, consider it a disease.

As for the other parts of my life, I don't really put myself into any kind of super gay category. I don't go to parades and all that.

I guess that I am deeply hurt by the way my parents think about it all. Even though they have known for 10 years now.

Right now my life is just a MESS. Financially, emotionally, living situation wise. Everything has gone absolutely wrong. I am desperately scraping together enough money to move back out to my own place. One of the big problems is that I work in an artistic field where income is not very stable. Should I give it all up and become a cashier? I tried, but I can't do both at the same time.

Jersey Nonny

The person who introduced me to AA and took me to my first rehab was my gay nephew. His lesbian friend became my first AA sponsor. Over thirty years later, I'm much older, he's still gay, and we're both still sober. "It works, if you work it."

Seriously, you've come here for your alcoholism...and, as long as you keep drinking, nothing can get any better. You were born gay, the alcoholism surfaced when you started drinking. Get a handle on the drinking (I would suggest lots of AA meetings) and you'll see things improve in all aspects of your life.