Lost, I hear ya. When I'm angry I have a really hard time snapping out of it. If I'm mad at someone it takes a lot not to go completely nuclear on them. I'm getting better but it's still something I have to remind myself to think about.

This time with the was different - Amy's post snapped me out of that mode immediately and I was left feeling so grateful for what I have. It was a weird feeling for someone who usually goes berserk, at least internally, when stuff like this happens. The next time I get upset I'm going to try to find some gratitude to knock me out of that state.

Good idea. I met with my sponsor last night and told her about my meltdown. Something that someone else told her that you might take interest in: The emotions are hard and fast now, because before we wouldn't let them come, before we smothered it with booze. So now here they are. Sometimes it might seem like a small issue that we have a mental breakdown over, but those might be old emotions we never felt before. My sponsor told me, we need to walk through the river of sh*t to come out good on the other side.

Yep, definitely. All the things I tried to drink away didn't really go away - it turns out I was just saving them for later.

Hey GFC...you know the other best part of sobriety? You can actually start living life like a normal human being, making normal every day decisions, and even tackle thought provoking ideas like -

• I wonder if the car is worth $5700
• If i repair the battery, will the car run at least to the dealership
• Do I think a dealership (e.g. Honda) will give me $1500 for the car; maybe $2500
• Will that $2500 cover a down payment on either a purchase or lease of say a Honda Civic?
• If I lease the car, how far will $5700 cover, assuming my current car is the down payment (even if junky)
• If the lease payment is $250; that will get me to 2 years and change…wonder if my financial position will be better then

Of course there are insurance implications, etc. But the amazing part is that even if that whole thought process amounts to repair and keep the car, the reality is, when i was drunk - i never thought anything through. The only concern I had was: when will i be able to drink again, so I don't have to think about this mess!!

Congrats on the messed up car....or maybe with the dealing with the messed up car!

That/this s*cks!!!!!!!!!!!

GFCO

I have discovered the daily practice of gratitude (see thread section) is very helpful in maintaining a balanced perspective when the blows of life come up. It is hard to be grateful and angry at the same time. So for me the issue is not 'how to express my anger', it is now acknowledging that I am upset and am facing a set back, then doing what I need to do to get back in balance whilst dealing with the issue.

As an example from your post as to what I do with gratitude, I see that

• You have the capacity to be aware and analyse your situation (see alcohol dementia, and Korsakoffs syndrome etc for what it could be like)
• You have access to expert advice when for automotive trouble- which indicates you may live in a funtioning community where many members are productive and make their skills available to others (also 'town' may indicate this)
• You have a home in what sounds like a nice location
• you have access to the internet and a computer
• you can read
• you can type
• You have skills in interacting with others
• you have the ability to change
• you have the ability to think about advice you have been offered

etc etc

Sorry if the last bit was laborious, I am just giving an example of what I do and find very helpful when I get bound up.