5280guy

Hello, the last time I had a drink was 4/8/2012. I've been drinking pretty heavily for about 8 years now. I feel great with even one week under my belt but I'm curious what unexpected tempting situations others like me may have ran into and what you did to cope. My concern is being able to maintain sobriety while being around alcohol. I'm going on a business trip at the end of this week and the folks at my destination will almost certainly want to go to our normal bars. I want to socialize with the people I haven't seen in a while and I know alcohol will be around.

Sapling

Welcome to SR 5280guy...This is a good place for support with recovery....I am an alcoholic. I drank for many years and was an alcoholic of the hopeless variety....I had to get myself into rehab and then throw my self into a recovery program when I left there. I use the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I didn't put myself into any drinking situations that early in my sobriety...Meetings were about the only place I went. I spent my time working the steps and obtaining the tools I needed to deal with those situations should they arise. My social life took a major turn early on....Along with a lot of changes I had to make. I had to remain sober...I couldn't afford to fail. Coming up on 10 months without a drink or drug...I'd say the early sacrifices were worth it. I'm enjoying life right now...I didn't know what that was before. Do what you have to do to get alcohol out of your life....I wish you the best.

stillsleeping

Hey dude and welcome!

I had a surprise pub visit with colleagues thrust on me that I cudnt get out of (my lift was going, its a 2hr journey) and pretty much freaked out. I confided in another sober friend and checked in SR through the evening on my fone.

It was about week 4. Scary but felt great that I'd made it. And it gave me the courage to tell friends that I'd quit. Everything's got easier since then.

Great to have you on board and look forward to seein you around!

Anna

Hi,

Welcome and you will find lots of support here at SR.

Personally, I stayed away from alcohol and people drinking alcohol for quite some time. It just didn't work for me. And, in fact, recovering from alcoholism often involves making big changes in one's life. I removed a couple of people from my life, I added daily exercise to my life, picked up hobbies that I had let go, started volunteering (to get outside of my head), and I read a lot of great books on spirituality.

I hope you keep reading and posting.

SOBERINNEPA

Welcome 5280Guy!

I did the 28 day rehab, which was entirely necessary, for me, and a life saver. On day 29 I drove directly from the rehab to an AA meeting. I did the rehab recommended 90 in 90, picked a home group and got a sponsor. AA works for me but some folks have great success with other programs.

The big thing for me was identifying under what circumstances I might get a craving. I didn't really drink socially so going to a party or restaurant where people are drinking. My boozing was done at home and alone. I try to stay out of the house and busy at the time I'd normally be cracking the vodka bottle. It's worked pretty well, so far.

Best wishes.

Taking5

To achieve lasting sobriety, I had to change my playground (bars) and playmates (drinking buddies). It turned out that I had 2 real friends out of that group. Also AA and this website have been invaluable.

Itchy

welcome 5280!

Unlike many I quit drinking and smoking at the same time. I used to smoke 3 packs a day (Not exaggerating) and 30 units a day at least. I also did in hospital detox but since you are one week two days sober you should be over the detox and now be into the healing which can be tough too.

However here is where I am different than many more. My wife did not quit smoking or drinking. She drinks scotch and is a "normie" but a regular two drinks a night. She also only smokes under the kitchen vent hood or outside. So from my first day out of detox there has been a carton of smokes in the cabinet along with a half gallon of scotch. I am retired and my wife was working full time at the time and I was home alone with them. I rarely thought about them as I was drinking lots of water and crystal light, and getting out more. It has been 19 months ago this Saturday. To paraphrase Paul Simon, "Still sober after all those beers."

These are my feelings and YMMV.

There are two things you will deal with. Watching them drink and your initial impression that everyone drank as much as you did when you were drinking.

Look up mocktails. If I am in the company of heavy drinkers I might do a mocktail and get it myself from the bar. If I order in front of them I order a scotch and water, twist of lime squeezed and dropped in, water and rocks, hold the scotch. Go here Mocktail Recipes - Index of Non-alcoholic Mixed Drinks
and find a few you like the sound of and memorize the names or note them in your organizer. Most bartenders know them.

If you think about the times you were drinking and encountered one who did not drink you might remember that we are a self-centered group us alcoholics, and you likely blew him or her off and focused on your drinking and getting your fix. They will too even if you have to say you don't want to drink alcohol. Especially later. You will be amazed I think, as many here have said too, at how many folks don't drink. You never noticed them before because you were focused on yourself and your turn to speak.

One other thing. You may remember the folks you thought were party poopers who always left parties early? You may find you leave with them now as they likely left as soon as the drunks were in their cups and boring. They weren't party poopers. You will find there actually are things to do with a nice accomplice or buddy that do not need to include alcohol. Driving a race car, scuba diving, sky diving, and para sailing or hang gliding come to mind immediately. Those and many others like being a pilot are fine with a few some think, until something goes wrong and you have to act fast not react.

So if you are going to have to deal with this then be prepared and make sure you have us programmed into your smart phone.

I agree with the folks that say it would be better not to, but reality for some of us is we have to do things we would prefer not to. Sober we can get them done faster and better so we can enjoy the good things in life.

Once again welcome to SR, I look forward to your posts here. Let us know how it worked out for you.

Ghostlight

I sayed away from drinking situations for quite awhile in my early days. Sounds like you can't avoid it, though.

What works for me, is to think that first drink through to the end, and the consequeces it'll bring.

Best to you on your trip, and remember, you never have to drink again.

5280guy

Thank you all for your quick responses, and not just a "good luck" these are really great responses. I'm heading to NYC to finish a project that's been in the works for months now and I know there will be a celebration once we're done. I'm going to figure out how to get to this forum from my old lame Blackberry and make a goal of posting some type of response while I'm there. I really like that idea. I'm almost looking forward to this now.

hypochondriac

Hey 5280guy. I had to do a few work related events which involved booze in very early sobriety. It was hard seeing as it was an occasion when I'd normally drink but seeing as I had taken the drinking option off the table, so to speak, I didn't find it too bad. I found strength in the fact that people were surprised at me, seeing as I'm usually the big drinker at these things. I wasn't given a hard time for not drinking and the general effect of my sobriety was to make other people boast about the last time they quit drinking etc.. To be honest what I did notice was how little everyone drank and the last time there was one person who drank way too much and stood out like a sore thumb. It made me think twice about drinking to fit in.

Good luck with your sober business trip and welcome to SR x

stillsleeping

Hey - glad it all helped. Having a thread going made all the difference for me. It's still out there under alcoholism - it's kind of funny reading now, and watching little 4-week me going from angry, tearful panic, to boredom, to 'wow, actually, I'm coping with this, yay me!' It helped to have people on line checking in on me, and even to have the people who said they thought I was being reckless and daft - cos being grateful but proving them wrong became a thing too.

If you have internet on yr phone it's easy - I just have a link on my screensaver that brings me, straight to the forums page (I post a lot. I need this place. it has saved my bacon man )

Let us know when you're going to be there and people will definitely help you out - me included, time zone permitting lol.

Of course, there are posts all the time of people who went to a bar with a backup plan and came home sozzled and having to start all over again - like most people here I'd definitely recommend staying away from booze if you can. But if it's a work function you can't get out of, sort your phone out - I'm on the other end of the keyboard dude

Jersey Nonny

When I was newly sober, the tips and techniques were, Keep It Simple, Don't Drink & Make Meetings.

If I were in your shoes, I would make an AA meeting before the trip (if at all possible), get a meeting book for NYC (in case you decide to make one while you're away) stay in touch with SR by Blackberry, keep a non-alcoholic drink in your hand whenever in a drinking atmosphere (if you should put it down and walk away from it, get a fresh one).

AA meetings worked for me for over twenty years. Since I'm no longer to attend meetings, SR has filled in very nicely...it's sort of a 24/7 meeting.

Dee74

hi and welcome 5280guy

Like some others here have said I had to make some pretty sweeping changes to my life when I got sober - I really wanted to make a change in my life, and I'm glad I did that.

I realised I could be the man I wanted to be, and live the life I wanted to live - or I could continue to drink - but I couldn't do both. I needed to choose.

Support was important too - and as you've already seen you've found a lot of that here...a lot of people use face to face organisations (AA SMART) too for an easily accessible widespread support network.

It won't always be easy, but it's entirely possible to live sober and love it

good to have you with us
D

katrinka

Be aware of how hard it is in the beginning and keep your guard up. Have a plan, like what will you order at a bar instead of alcohol? What will you say when a coworker asks why you're not drinking? Someone on SR (I think it was Sapling) said he always brings a bottle of water with him. When I visited my family a few weeks ago, I stopped and got a coffee so I was already drinking something. Good luck, you can do it!

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

DisplacedGRITS

Welcome. Personally, when i'm faced with a sudden temptation i try to remember how physically, emotionally and mentally miserable alcohol made me and hold on to that. Also, i think about all the stories i've heard and read about alcoholics who have tried to moderate their drinking only to fall completely off the wagon for years. My sobriety is too precious to risk over just a few drinks.

Hevyn

Hi 5280guy! It's great to have you with us. No one 'gets it' like your fellow alkies. You have a great attitude - be proud of yourself for making the wise decision to give up the drinking habit.

All the good stuff has already been said. I just want to add that you'll feel fantastic (superior even ) when you get finished with the project & celebration without picking up. We know you can do it. Stay close to SR - we're with you all the way.

least

to the family.

5280guy

This is a test post from my BB. Thank you all. I'll be there Fri, Sat and Sun this week. I'm nervous but I know I'll make it. My boss is pregnant right now so I know I'll have at least one sober friend with me.

hypochondriac

That's why pregnant people are ace (my sis is too) x