LoveMyBoys

I would like to know if anyone's partner went to treatment, came home, and lived happily ever after?

least

I don't have a partner but I'm an alkie that got sober. Over two years now so it is possible. But you have to really want to be sober - more than you might want to drink. I'm glad I finally reached that point and now am happily sober.

You might want to check out the Friends and Families sections further down the main page. Lots of support and experience there.


to SR!

artsoul

Welcome LoveMyBoys!

I think it's absolutely possible...... It does take time to get used to the new "normal" though, so patience really is a virtue when it comes to recovery. I hope things work out for both of you! (And do check out the Family & Friends forum for support!)

Mark75

I went to treatment, I had to so I could keep my career.

I have 4 kids, 1 adult, 2 in college and 1 in HS.

My wife of 26 years and I are living happily.



Were there some rough patches. hell yes. But we are here after supper, she is reading, I am on the computer, the coffee is good... Birds singing, lilacs are coming out early, I go to The Boy Scout meeting soon....

ACT10Npack

It really depend on your wife and if she is ready to give up alcohol. Treatment will give her the tools to maintain those urges and understand what her triggers.

Anna

I began drinking after being married for many years, and my drinking lasted for about 3 years. I have been in recovery for 11 1/2 years and am very happily married.

Of course, it can be done.

DisplacedGRITS

I'm a happily married wife and i've been to treatment a couple of times. It doesn't always stick the first time and probably the most important thing is aftercare and ongoing therapy after the initial treatment is over. AA, therapy and medication is helping to keep me sober this time around which was what was lacking after my first time through treatment. Good luck.

LDT

I'm the alcoholic wife whose patient husband one day said "I want my wife back." So I gave him his wife back. Over 14 sober months later, we are not only spouses, we are best friends!

I wish the same for you and your wife!

Lily

I am the wife who went. Today I have 16 months continous sobriety. I have a plan and tools in my toolbox to not drink or use today. My husband and I are VERY happy and are living happily ever after.

Zebra1275

I didn't go to treatment, but with AA and this website, I got better. My life is now way better and so is my marriage. I wasn't responsible for all of the problems in my marriage, marriage is much more complicated than that. But as I got sober and changed, I also noticed my wife changing some of her behaviors. Our marriage is much stronger than it was a few years ago.

If you love your wife and want to live happily ever after you should give her your support. She is probably scared to death. I didn't choose to become an alcoholic, but I did reach a point in my life where I wondered "how the hell did this happen to me"? And how do I go on with out the crutch I've come to depend on? And then there is the guilt and shame. But if your wife is serious about recovery, she can get through this and come out the other side, a number of people on this website have done it and can attest to how great life can be once they get sober.

If you are patient, you might find that underneath the alcoholism which took over her life, is the girl that you feel in love with and married. But it's going to take awhile to get there, in the meantime you might want to try Al-Anon for yourself.

Amy2011

I am the alcoholic wife. I did not go to a treatment center, but joined AA last March. I have been sober since I walked into AA a year ago. I wanted to be sober more then I wanted to drink. Recovery has not been easy for me or my family. I have a husband and 2 girls, 10 and 13. I found my recovery to be a family affair as my alcoholism had affected all of us. I really was focused on recovery in the beginning and I spent alot of time at meetings and doing step work. My husband and kids were supportive and happy to see me getting my life back. I put my recovery first in the beginning, so my husband picked up alot of my evenings duties to help me out. Things with my husband are definetely better. Are they perfect? No, but it is a work in process. I am happier, my kids are happier, and my husband is happier. Your wife has to work at recovery and if she has your full support and understanding I think it will help her. I got sober because I didn't like the mother I had become. I got sober to be an active participant in my life. If your wife wants to be sober more than she wants to be drunk anything is possible. Good luck.

FLA

To young to have a wife, but when I was 11 or 12? My dad took my mom to rehab for alcohol, my mom kept her drinking Hidden pretty well and I never noticed when she was drunk. My only vivid memory was finding her hiding spots around the house and telling my dad where the alcohol was, and once before her treatment we all went to the hospital with her because she fell and cut her self. When she got out of rehab she started attending AA meetings and has been sober now for ten years I am very proud of her for staying sober and I am also proud of my dad for sticking through it with her and never leaving her side.
I think you should support your wife no matter what happens, don't give up on her and give her all the support you can! Hope everything works out for you both.

LoveMyBoys

Thanks everyone. Right now we are dealing with the treatment and aftercare, but we also have social services (I called) and temporary custody hearing coming up. In the meantime, my mom is helping with our babies while I work. Its hard everyday. I am in recovery as well, so Im not trying to throw too many stones.