Did I just relapse?!
Earlier today I was at the beach and I picked up a beer almost instinctually after I drank it I realized I didn't drink any more and I said well I already had one may as well have another so I did, I drank seven solo cups of beer give or take on or two enough to give me a slight buzz and then I stopped got food and came home because o didn't want to drink anymore. I feel like tomorrow I'm going to feel guilty and hate myself for it but is that considered a relapse? I stopped when I could have got drunk and I came home to prevent it. I feel responsible and guilty at the same time?
I guess the important thing is to consider how you want to proceed going forward.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
I feel like tomorrow I'm going to feel guilty and hate myself for it but is that considered a relapse? I stopped when I could have got drunk and I came home to prevent it. I feel responsible and guilty at the same time?
Since it's a One Day At A Time program, I'd concentrate more on how I'm going to not drink TODAY. I've often heard that the alcoholic is "mentally drunk" before he actually picks up the drink. Could be you had/have reservations about whether you truly are an alcoholic? No one can answer that for you but yourself...not anymore than anyone can tell you whether you should consider that you had a relapse.
BTW...do you attend any meetings? Do you have a sponsor? Exactly what else are you using to stay sober besides sheer will power?
I wish you well...and sobriety...
Everyone debates about that. To me, if you have a single, isolated incident like that and it bothers you too much to absolutely start back at zero, I would still consider your normal sober date but note that as a relapse. But I think technically a lot of people start from ground zero. To me that is very very difficult to do. If I had to start over at 0 today after going 22 days and having a single slip up I would really struggle with that. But it is really a matter of personal preference and how you feel in your heart. Congrats on getting back on track! LMZR
If your plan is to never drink again...what does it matter if it is day 22, day 2 or day 2022. It is simply not relevant.
If you're trying to figure out when it might be a good time to drink again then I think keeping track of the days would likely be a good thing (sarcasm alert).
If you're trying to figure out when it might be a good time to drink again then I think keeping track of the days would likely be a good thing (sarcasm alert).
I've had too many of those one day relapses, which made it easier to drink again (and again, and again). Today, I know what my date of my last drink was. But that's me.
You have your way, and that's cool, too!
You have your way, and that's cool, too!
I will be coming up on a year soon and I really don't know if I will be able to simply let it pass without some sense of accomplishment working it's way into my psyche. I guess we shall see how that goes.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Princeton, ID
Posts: 101
This is the part that troubles me about your post. I don't know many people in recovery who remember they don't drink once they have gotten to the bottom of the can/glass. I promise I am not trying to be snarky.
I guess the important thing is to consider how you want to proceed going forward.
I guess the important thing is to consider how you want to proceed going forward.
I was about three or four weeks sober at the time.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Look at it this way—when you get to Day 5,114, will it really bother you to call it Day 5,100?
Makes no difference to me what you call it, but seems like a lot of fuss over a few days. I could be totally wrong here, but is there any chance you're holding onto the idea of calling it Day 16 because somewhere in the back of your mind, you're trying to protect your future tallies against future relapses?
I'm not sure what day I'm on. Four hundred something? I guess close to 500 now. Whatever. I know Day 1 was the day after my very last drink.
Makes no difference to me what you call it, but seems like a lot of fuss over a few days. I could be totally wrong here, but is there any chance you're holding onto the idea of calling it Day 16 because somewhere in the back of your mind, you're trying to protect your future tallies against future relapses?
I'm not sure what day I'm on. Four hundred something? I guess close to 500 now. Whatever. I know Day 1 was the day after my very last drink.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Jax beach fl
Posts: 143
I guess it does not matter how many sober I've been, what's important is that I am sober. Days aren't important, thinking about one slip up and wasting two weeks makes me pissed. So from here on out I'm just gonna guesstimate how long I've been sober and I'm just gonna focus on staying that way. Everyone has their own opinions and some things work different for different people. Thank you all for your opinions
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Join Date: Feb 2009
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I'd say to me that'd be a relapse. I drank in moderation a few times after a period of sobriety and got tricked into thinking I could now 'control it', truth was I was just lucky on those occasions to be able to moderate. It takes longer than two weeks to turn something like this around, indeed after 2 years I still regard myself 'in remission', not cured from this problem.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 3
Lapse or relapse?
I look at it as a lapse....what happens from the lapse (do you continue to drink, etc.) will determine if it's a relapse...not sure if that makes sense but I read it somewhere in all the books I've been reading
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
The date of my last drink is November 15, 1979...that is the date I celebrate my AA/Sobriety Anniversary. So far, it's been continuous sobriety, although I did relapse after my first 90 days. Back then, the oldtimers were more rigid. But, HP willing, I have no desire to change my date of sobriety.
If I were you, I would just consider that my last drink was on April 15, and let it go at that. The days will continue to add up, as long as you stay away from that one drink, one day at a time. Continued success...
If I were you, I would just consider that my last drink was on April 15, and let it go at that. The days will continue to add up, as long as you stay away from that one drink, one day at a time. Continued success...
The counting matters, to many people, VERY MUCH in the beginning. And to mess up and start all over, can, at times, be debilitating and cause a continual regression. I know this for the zillions of times I quit cigarettes. However, I do know that the last one I had was April 7, 1997 and if I personally had one after that I would change the date. However, sometimes when we are desperate that diminishes the accomplishment we had when we "start all over". It can feel as if the length of time never existed, when it very well did. I say whatever works in the beginning. But I am a counter myself. Some folks can't just perpetually stay on day 1 forever, though, without giving up. Just my $.02
I guess I think of this A LOT because it applies to me. I was sober from January 5, 2010 to Thanksgiving Day of 2010...10 months and change. I drank from Thanksgiving Day 2010 to March 26, 2012. During that time, though, not that I deserve a badge, I would say that I maybe got intoxicated 10 times in 16 months. That is not so wonderful, but it is WAAAAAAY better than pre-2010. Does that change my sobriety date? Can I go back and claim 2010 still? No way. But was that 10 months sober very important to me and still is. You betcha.
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