choublak

Can someone clear this up for me? I feel like the fundamental philosophy of AA/Al-Anon is something like "You can't stop, only your Higher Power can stop you." When, in reality, it's more like, if it is your responsibility to stop, you can?

It's not my intention to create any heated discussions or any of that. Nor am I being a troll, or at least I'm not trying to be.

BadCompany

I can and have stopped many many times. I just can't stay stopped without help.

It's not possible to mention AA in this section without contention. In fact Dee is reaching for the aspirin after seeing my name posting in this thread.

choublak

Okay, or maybe it's like, "I can't stay stopped. Only my HP can make me stay stopped."

eJoshua

I think the philosophy of AA is pretty well summarized in the 12 steps.

Sugah

Well, yes and no. Yes in that most alcoholics suffer from maladjusted egos. Even at our most negative when it seems we are harder on ourselves than anyone ever could be, we still have this misguided notion that we are the masters of all we survey. If it goes wrong, we're to blame. If it goes right, we're to thank--even if other don't see it that way.

But a HP, on grace alone, doesn't rescue us from this state. It takes a lot of work: faith without works is dead. I have the faith that I'm not the center of the universe, that some cosmic force will work with me to help me find my proper place, and that place may not be where I think I should be.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Sapling

I think this reading from the BB first edition sums it up for me.

Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.

May God bless you and keep you - until then.

sugarbear1

The obsession to drink/use and all cravings have been removed as a result of working the steps. I don't know where they went and I even tried willing them to return (yeah, sick thinking) and that didn't work. I didn't do that alone.....

BadCompany

Close, it's synergy, Us and our higher power together. We must be active participants in our recovery.

choublak

So, doing so by yourself is virtually impossible?

Sapling

It was for me....God knows I tried.

sugarbear1

white knuckling it vs a peaceful and calm life

I can stop and stay stopped by myself. Do I want serenity? Yeah. Do I want to change my old behaviors? Oh, Yeah! Do I want to live happy, joyous and free? Definitely. A spiritual life is worth living. I was the living dead when I was drinking.

Go to some meetings and see what it's about!

Zee

I did it by myself. I think some people need 'something' to believe or cling on to or they will give in to their alcoholism. Some embrace it, some don't. Whatever rocks their particular boat. I am athiest and don't embrace anything other than proven fact.
My mum believed in spirituality, HP & all that. Never drank or smoked all her life. Passed away after a long battle with cancer at 64.

DarrenW

It was up to me to drink...it IS up to me not to drink (my philosophy). Whatever works for the individual is the best approach.

Sapling

That reading I posted earlier...This is what the 12 steps are about...

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.

When these steps are taken fearlessly and thoroughly...As laid out in the Big Book...You will experience a spritual awakening...Or if you prefer...A complete psychic change. It will change the way you think about yourself...And others. The steps allow you to clear the damage you have done....Right your wrongs...And in the process...Have the obsession to drink lifted....Does it work?....Worked for me...I spent the day with a couple guys that both have over 25 years sober...Worked for them....I guess it works.

Sapling

That's good...I admire that....Did you get it on the first try?...And how long has it worked for you?....You see....If I could have done that...I would have.

Mark75

The fundlemental philosophy of AA? LOL

There were some awesome responses here already and I cannot improve on them at all. After a while, doing the work, going to meetings, working with others, and everything, the fundlemental philosophy is that of a spiritual awakening. It is a spiritual program.

What that means to you may be different than what it means to me, and that's cool. It's more than just asking God, or a higher power, to put the cup down for you.

It is kinda like ... "Wake up and smell the coffee!" ... Can't do that yourself? No problem, there is a way.

awuh1

Reminds me of the old joke ……“It’s easy to quit I’ve done it hundreds of times.”

If you are able to quit, all on your own, without any help…. just do it. You have no need for this web site, AA, SMART , AVRT, or anything else. No need to read on.

You still here? WHY? Answer that question honestly.

Some are here to help others, for in doing so it helps THEM stay sober.

Some of us could not quit on our own resources for that one final time. Could we quit? Sure. But inevitably we found ourselves back where we started and many times much worse off. We needed assistance of some sort. People come here, to SR, for help. They come here for a power greater than themselves. That’s all a “higher power” is. How you understand that higher power, is your business.

But if it was you... I don’t think you’d be here. Just my opinion.

DarrenW

I feel whatever works for each person is the best way. AA, AVRT, Etc. My way: Weekly visit to social worker, quarterly visit to psychiatrist (for anxiety), and constant reading. I have been to AA meetings and my social worker thinks I should go back (since I almost relapsed). I am not opposed to going back for sure. I am just a little bit introverted and not good in groups.

Been five months and two days since my last drink. Almost relapsed one time- about two weeks ago- came really, really close. Actually bought an 18 pack, opened one, and took a deep smell. Loved the smell. Waged a back and forth in my mind for 15 minutes and ended up driving to gas station and throwing the beer out.

So far so good.

Dee74

If we were all the same there'd be one recovery method and we'd all be ok with that.

I have many friends here who used AA, some who used SMART, some who used AVRT, and some who used LifeRing or SOS or Women For Sobriety.

Some like me, used SR.

We're all recovered - and that what I consider it be the important thing.

I used the Lone Ranger's Code approach to HP...

'God put the firewood there, but every man must gather and light it himself'

That worked for me - and that's all I really need to be concerned with, I think

Sapling

When you posted...

It was up to me to drink...it IS up to me not to drink (my philosophy).

You're not exactly doing it on your own then...You just don't go to AA because you don't like groups...I don't either. But I wasn't in much of a position to be picky about what I wanted or didn't want to do. I went into AA wanting to stop drinking....I look at it now...That's a very small part out of what I have gotten out of this program.....A life I never dreamed of....You know I heard that sh!t when I got there and I didn't believe it. Now I do.