Jeni26

On the face of it I'm doing really well. My second weekend without alcohol and I've managed it!! Been going to AA meetings and doing so again tonight.
Why do I feel so miserable today?
I'm going back to my stressful job tomorrow after the Easter break and my usual way of coping is to have a bottle during the afternoon to blank it all out. That's not an option for me now and guess I haven't found another stress coping mechanism.
It all feels overwhelming.
Thought this would be easier by now?

Dee74

I think everyone has up and down days, alcoholics or not, Jeni

Luckily when we're sober the bad days don't last a week - there's every chance the day will get better, or if not today maybe tomorrow?

Hope you feel better soon

D

IndaMiricale

It takes a lot longer than two weeks to learn a new life. And we all go up and down, hang in and keep doing what your doing.

Jeni26

Thanks Dee x

Scolova

I often need to remind myself of the mantra used here at SR...
'The event is never as bad as the mind predicts it will be.'

awuh1

Hang in there Jen. You have had an easier go of it than many in their first couple of weeks. You were strong enough to overcome your fears and get to that first AA meeting, so now you have some extra friends, support and a program to help with the longer journey. There are going to be some days that are difficult, especially as you learn how to cope without changing your mood artificially with alcohol. You might want to call someone in the program and let them know this is a bit more difficult day than most. Remember “there is nothing so bad that a drink won’t make worse”.

hypochondriac

Well done on 2 weeks Jeni

I'm gonna agree here. In fact I'm slightly miffed that stopping drinking hasn't made everything wonderful...but then I think that may be the alcoholic in me trying to persuade me to have a drink. Tricky.

I've had a few down days but then I thought...if I made a graph of my emotional turmoil before and after drinking I'd be much closer to a straight line now, which is so much easier to deal with than the high peaks and troughs I had to deal with before.

And also I have to remind myself that the time I have been sober is a drop in the ocean compared to the time I was drinking, which was, lets face it, my entire life.

My new method for blocking everything out is sleeping, much more effective and doesn't make me feel rubbish

Hope you feel better soon x

Jeni26

Thank you all. Yes, have had an easier ride than most so far but think that's mainly cos I've had the past fortnight off from work so have been fairly chilled out and able to do everything at my own pace.
Back to 12 hour days tomorrow and everything at breakneck speed- no time to think or work stuff out.
Think this will be a real test of resolve, but if I can do the job hungover, am hoping it may be a little easier sober!
Instead of hitting the bottle today I'm going over to a friends for coffee and then onto a meeting.
I should be proud of that I guess, but what I really want to do is open a bottle right now!

Sapling

They told me it would be a roller coaster ride and they were right...Just hang on tight and keep going...It gets better Jeni...I wouldn't lie to you about that. Read the Big Book...Keep going to meetings..Find a sponsor...Put the thinking you have about alcohol into working the steps...That's the answer. And don't drink for today...No matter what...Don't pick up.

DoinThis

I was so disappointed it didnt happen overnight too jeni. The month mark I noticed myself feel loads better

micealc

Faceing Emotions that Regular People do every day is Real living.

I was off work for over 2 months...Virol Infection.
I went back to work 2 weeks ago....I was fearful,Nervous.
As soon as I got to my job of work....I was sound....
My daughter has to return to School Tomorrow.....I know for a fact she's not happy with that.....but she'll go in and she will be sound as well..... Reality

This time tomorrow you'll be saying,what was I worried about.

Change4good

Jeni,

I hear you sister. This isn't easy, and hopes of feeling immediately miraculous might be misguided. But. . .however bad you feel, (in my opinion) is so worth it in the end. I have bad days too, but they are not half as bad as when I was drinking.

It took us a long time to get into this mess. I just remind myself that it is going to take time to get out of it. In my experience, every day gets incrementally better. I remind myself that highs and lows are part of the human condition.

Take care of yourself, and thanks for posting.

Jeni26

Yes, you're all right in what you say, and thanks for responding.

Won't give in to this. I'm way stronger than that.

Can't remember I time when I faced anything without the 'help' of a drink apart from last weekends AA meeting of course. All new territory. Having to do stuff without getting drunk first to numb it, then drunk afterwards to reward myself! Crazy!
All part of learning and moving forwards, just wish it was a little bit easier!!xx

candie

You will still have ups and downs hun, maybe even sometimes they could be hormonal.I'm on my 5th day of sobriety and have ben out this morning, but we didn't go for our usual pub lunch on the way back.I felt like I was being boring but know it's for the best at the moment

SSIL75

It's really hard to learn a new way to live! For me it was a huge transition to go from sitting there drinking/thinking to actually DOING things every day to stay happy/engaged in life. I distinctly remember in early sobriety my son (5) was sick and I was sleeping in his bed. I was so miserable and lying there depressed about not drinking. And I made myself think of 10 things I was happy about and 5 things I would do the next day to make myself happy. I still do that on occasion and it really helps a lot.

# 1 thing I am grateful for... every time... I AM SOBER.

Now do 'the next right thing'. What would make you happy now? Even a little happy. DOING something to move through feeling sad is v. powerful. Nothing huge. Just a little thing. Finding pleasure in little things has definitely been the biggest change in my life.

Jeni26

Thank you all. Just been to visit a friend who I love very much. Told her everything about the changes in my life and that I don't intend to drink again.
She was lovely, so supportive and said she would be behind me 100%.
Going off to a meeting shortly and am going to make enquiries about being sponsored.
Got through today, with the help of you all xxx

desertsong

Good job, Jeni. It IS a rollercoaster ride of emotions during early sobriety. Some days I wake up with a huge grin on my face for no apparent reason and it stays with me all day. Other days, I wake up and think, "Sigh .... ugh." lol That's just the way it is. It would be nice of everything suddenly just magically changed for the better when we decided to get sober, wouldn't it? But that's okay. It's a process and we have to go through it. Just know that you're not alone in this and that no matter how you feel today, tomorrow or next week, YOU'RE NORMAL.

2granddaughters

If it was easy, Jeni, then everyone would have done it.

Getting sober will test you to your limits.... you truly will think twice about drinking because you won't want to have to dry out again.

Drinking is like the iceberg that got the Titanic. The booze is the part above water. What you have to respect is the 90% of alcoholism that is "hidden".... that's what will get you !!
It will all make sense down the line as you grow in AA

All the best.

Bob R

sugarbear1

I was used to an "instant fix" to life. Today, it's a slower process, but it is a process. Enjoy the journey! Simple, not easy, but doable. Two weeks is awesome!! Keep moving forward. Change up your routine a bit now, a little at a time. It gets better!

jstar

Jeni...I totally feel ya...the beginning is hard, i'm on day 19 and have had some really good & some really bad days. I just keep going to meetings even if I don't feel like it & I get people's numbers at AA in case I need to call someone in a moment of what I believe to be clarity (like me thinking "i've got a few weeks, I surely can drink now!" Which is obviously a big fat lie to myself or I wouldn't be here posting on SR. Take it day by day or hour by hour. I'm leaning on the stories I hear that people tell about how great their life has changed. I don't see the whole picture yet of how that is possible for me...but I want what they have

Congrats on 2 weeks...every day we are sober is a blessing!