New, detoxing right now. Need help?
 

I have been reading this page for years. I actually got out of bed to type this due to massive panic attacks and the "doom" feeling. I quit drinking and joined AA in my town after a major accident. I was walking home while intoxicated. I decided to leave my car at the bar to avoid a DUI. I was getting off the road while walking because an ambulance was coming down the street during a snow storm Feb 12th. I was off the sidewalks since they were solid ice and the roads were salted here in PA.

The medics claim I slipped and fell on the road. I sat up to get up and was hit by an suv coming the other direction. I remember none of this. I was thrown 10 feet into the air, lifeflighted, and to this day the driver still hasn't been found after he fled and left me there to basically die.

I am alive. I swore off drinking after that incident. Believe it or not, I have been told it was an off duty cop that hit me. That triggered my relapse after 3 weeks and fighting the local police in my area. I have been called a loser, a nobody, plus the tape from the ambulance that records everything magically "disappeared" from the dashboard.

I refuse to let this bring me down. I have to quit. I can't take the daily life of being drunk. I have benzos on hand but I know you shouldn't mix them with alcohol. I have a third degree concussion from the accident and post concussion syndrome plus seizures and PTSD. I should not be drinking. I limit myself to one an hour. I am still having panic even on that. I can't call for an ambulance to detox because that same company is the company that destroyed the tape, plus my local police will show up. Thoughts? Thank you for reading.

Sounds terrible. Well the only thing I know is that continuing to stay sober is the best thing you can do. No use piling up insanity on top of tragedy and pain.

Welcome to SR, I'm glad you found us.

Goodness Blue, I wish I lived closer and I would come get you. Is there anyone you can reach out to? It sounds like you are in a bad way. I wish I had better advice. Just know that I am holding you up in my prayers tonight. Deep breaths. I ended up in the ER with a panic attack, so I understand how frightening they are.

All this said, please don't monkey with you health. Detox can be well. . .you know. Do what you need to and worry about the "others" later if at all possible.

I just can't wait to quit again, I need to get back to sleep somehow. I hate that doom feeling, waking up with a "jolt" and heart racing. I can't wait to be sober again.

So sorry to hear what you are going through right now, I can remember those horrible feelings as I read your post. If you are feeling rough you may want to make it to the hospital, you can even take a taxi if that makes you feel better about it.

Take care & keep us updated :ring

Thank you all for your support. What a cycle this is. I have antiseizure medication on hand which is all they will do for me plus I will just embarrass myself when I am known as that girl who was hit by the car a few months ago drunk.. who drank tonight. I think I will try and stick this one out at home. We actually don't have a taxi service in this small town, the panic is the thing that bugs me most. I have been thru withdrawal. Seen faces and everything. At least this time I have this webpage.

We are here & we understand Blue, lets make this the last time you ever have to go through this. I look forward to reading about your recovery story from this point on.

You can do this, we are all here for you :ring

what about getting a cab to the ER behindblueeyes? feasible?

D

There is no cab service. If it gets that bad I will call 911. It's not worth dying to have detox seizures.. been there. They're bad news. I have also had detox seizures from Benzo's so I don't want to mess with those either.

glsd to hear you're keeping that option open - yep nothing is more important than your life :)

welcome by the way :)

D

You've joined AA, do you have phone numbers? Call someone. Call the hotline and get a ride to the hospital.

I do have a lot of numbers, it's 12:30 here though I feel bad calling such nice (and sober) people. I just got sick and that makes the 3rd time tonite. I think my body is rejecting what I have done. I took vistaril which is good for detox. The nausea is awful right now, if I don't sleep after all this 911 it is. They surely can't deny someone care... Im just not sure I want the stares. Small town people spread this kinda news like wildfire.

One thing that might help is that since you were blacked out and can't prove that an off duty cop hit you and ran, why don't you let that theory go and move forward in your recovery? It's easy to blame others and to use bad situations to continue drinking, but the second you start forgiving and moving forward, the easier it gets.

Prayers for you, I feel your pain I had several serious detoxs. Glad your here.

Thanks, what an awful night and day. I just got out of bed and am trying to eat for the first time. I had sweat so much the sheets were soaked. Im still afraid of seizures, kept waking up feeling like I stopped breathing. I hope this is only going to get better from here?

Please call 911 if you need it.

I hope you feel better soon.

Behindblueyes - I'm so glad you're here with us. I hope your anxiety will be lessened by being here. Please know we've all been through similar nightmares, and you aren't alone with this.

I hope you'll be able to eat and keep it down. As Anna said, please call 911 if there's any doubt about your condition. Once this is over, you can begin a whole new life. We're behind you all the way.

This group will def. keep me sober. I am so lucky I don't have a job right now, I can't even walk outside! Did anyone else have that? I did have to walk a block away to get my mail and felt like I was dying the entire time. Slept 11pm to 2pm! Something that is strange, the dreams seem to be crossing-over in real life like I will think I dreamt something but really maybe I just thought it up this second.. then I panic because I can't tell reality from dream-world. Hasn't helped that the sun has been out and it's been 90s here. People don't understand how I was out fishing and drinking last week now I can't leave the house.

NEVER AGAIN. Thank you all so much.

You can't hide in your house the rest of your life...I don't think that's too healthy. You say you joined AA before....You think you could drag yourself to a meeting?....I had to do a lot of things I didn't want to do to get sober. It takes some effort man.