Admiral

I haven't drank since the last week of March and tonight I'm having a really hard time. It's the weekend, things are slow and boring, and it's just really getting to me. I'm having thoughts like "you don't drink that much anyways, you're fine." Which is true, generally I only drink 3-4 times a month, probably less, but the thing is, I drink a lot when I do, and have no self control, and I crave it badly at times.

I was in the same situation with marijuana years ago, and I eventually became a daily user, the same pattern is emerging again with alcohol, but the consequences will be far worse in terms of physical damage to my body, and I know it will only get worse, but it feels like there's another half to me that tries to throw a rug over all of that.

If I let it slide tonight then when will I face it? It will always be "next time" But next time will never come. My thought process is in the right place, but the cravings are still present and quite strong.

Dee74

Hi admiral

Having a support group really helped me deal with that 'mabe I'm not so bad' thing - and trying my best to build a sober lifestyle I enjoyed and I found fulfilling helped with the slow and boring stuff...

I pick up a lot of old hobbies, renewed a lot of old friendships and made some new friends and interests too. The only real limit is your imagination

what kind of things do you like to do? hobbies, interests?
they can't all be alcohol based surely?

D

Admiral

I write and do origami to name a few, but even then, I get to thinking that the creative process will flow much easier if i had a little something... and it's not helped by the fact that some artists and writers are at their peak when drunk, ugh.

A lot of my old friends drink and smoke, I moved and don't really see them much any more, but at my work a lot of people are drug users and hardcore drinkers as well, just hearing them talk about it can be trouble for me, and I can't avoid work so it's difficult.

Emily2002

I relapsed last night and I know why. I didn't play the tape in my head before reaching for the first of several drinks. I didn't come back and reread my past posts to remember the inevitable downside.

I hope you don't let it slide tonight. Hang in there, Admiral!!! Keep posting and reading if it helps. You've done so well... gone so long. Do you really want to ruin that?

Dee74

I used to think being drunk or high helped me create too...until it didn't.

There's a reason why most creative people sober up and fly straight (if they don't die)...

the high, if it ever 'works' at all, only works in the very initial stages of the addiction.

Don't fall for the romance of addiction - it's nonsense, Admiral.

D

Admiral

L stores closed an hour ago, and I've never gone to bars, so another night down and done. I feel alright now, thanks guys.

sugarbear1

You can be creative without the booze.

You can stay stopped!

Stick around here, there's lots of support.

IndaMiricale