Sapling

I must say skip...You've come a long way in 29 days...My hat's off to you.

Spinach

Hey , Do it now and save yourself so much time.
You've already given yourself a time , now reach it then pass it I urge you.
Find a way now look at AVRT keep talking here . The first few weeks are interesting but if you gain pride in gaining the days it will help.
Good luck.
John.
Oh yeah how's your Gran going.

artsoul

Hi Scott - welcome to the forum!

I think the last three words of your first post say enough: "I'm in pain." We've all been there, scared to keep drinking but not wanting to stop. I suspected I had a problem when I started drinking 3-6 beers a night, too, and it took a real emotional toll on me after a while..... alcohol is a depressant, after all.

If we can support you in any way, just let us know!

Eliasson

Hi Scott,
Welcome to SR! In answer to your question, I actually drank less than you do, and I am definitely an alcoholic. Somewhere in the Big Book it states that if you are wondering if you are alcoholic, try quitting alcohol for a year. Most alcoholics will not even be able to come close to a year. I was (am) certainly one of them. Only you can make up your mind if you are! It does get easier as the days go by if you have a support system like SR, AA or AVRT, Smart Recovery. Wishing you the best!

Scott231

Wow made it to day 5 and chatted with somebody on here who is struggling with some stuff as well and also on his 5th day. It sounds like they've gone through probably more then me. I gave what advice I could and it did make me feel a bit more empowered, still overwhelmed though, read some stuff about this AVRT and it did not help ,
Im really lost , im working on day 5 right now and i've been skimming through the previous threads. I'm stuck on the first one. " I will never drink again " . Why can't I drink again ? People have beers all the time and they're not alcoholics. I don't see why I cant just get a handle on it to where I can have a few and be ok ( but not everynight of course ) . Especially now in the beginning it just seems way too overwhelming to make a commitment like that. I know somebody said " one day at a time " and that seems a bit more uplifting. Like all I have to do is worry about not doing it today and I can worry about tomorrows urges tomorrow. I'm not submitting to failure but just saying i'll handle those problems when they come not right now. Am I missing something ? Any advice ?

Sapling

I guess that sums it up Scott....

Dee74

I had to accept I was not like all those other people could 'just have a beer'.

If I was like everyone else, I would be able to look at the damage drinking was doing to me and leave it...I couldn't.

D

Scott231

I dont get it ? What do you mean ? I want to be able to drink a few occasionally and be fine . If I can't then do I really control it or doesn't it still control me ? Have you really conquered it If you cant just have one or two and then be done ? I dont feel you have with all due respect to those who've been through and succeeded more then I have .

Sapling

They can drink beers when they want,,,Because they are not alcoholics. If you feel that you aren't an alcoholic...Then you should have no problem. I can't have one or two beers...That would kill me.

Scott231

So I should go have a beer ? Wow why didnt somebody tell me that right off the bat?! Great .

Lenina

Scott,

I don't know if anyone knows exactly when or what or how the "trigger" gets pulled with drinking. I think it's a combination of biochemistry and pyschology. I know with me, like many others on here, I can't have just one. It sets me off on the wild goose hunt trying to get a reaction from the alcohol that my body maybe, maybe my mind, just can't recreate anymore.

Ultimately, I had to quit completely. I wasn't a down and out person. I hadn't lost my job or had legal consequences. I mostly drank at home alone so I didn't get a lot of feedback on my behavior but I saw the evidence of disordered self in the messes I made and how bad I felt the next day.

Please think about this: if other people ask you to quit, mostly likely it's time to give it some thought. I've done AA and it's a good program. I prefer RR and AVRT but I was really ready to quit. I don't think I'll know whatever activated my descent from having a glass of wine at bedtime to being a fall down drunk. What I can see is that it's a progression thing. Once it gets triggered, there's no resetting the clock. For me, it was best to quit rather than struggle.

I hope this helps you. In this day and age, we don't have to be fall down drunks. We don't have to lose everything, especially our self-respect, for just a few drinks.

Love from Lenina

Sapling

Scott...This is in your opening post..

I really dont consider myself to be an alchoholic but I guess I might be ,

I think for you to make any progress...You honestly have to figure this out for yourself.

Dee74

I remember being angry and resentful too.
It didn't seem fair.

My friends drank and none of the stuff that happening to me seemed to happen to them - they didn't seem to obsess over it, it didn't seem to rule their lives...they'd drink an not think about it again til the next time...none of the bad stuff seemed to happen to them.

I was different.

it took me 20 years to accept that, all the while getting into more and more trouble with drinking....

don't be like me Scott.