Today is 2 weeks for me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Today is 2 weeks for me
I know 2 weeks is just tip of the iceburg, but I am proud. I don't know that clicked this time, but I do know that my resolve is stronger than every. Other attempts at not drinking, I was constantly scared, I didn't trust myself. Each day I would pray for the strength to "get through". This time, I was only like that the first for or so days, now I just know I won't drink. No matter what.
I read here on SR the other day someone mention how they feel so much for those who are still in the throws of addication and caught up in that vicious cycle of trying and failing, that constant voice in their head. I absolutely know that I am no where near out of the woods yet, but when I read those posts, I can feel exactly what they are going through, and hope pray that they can overcome that and find some peace.
There are still moments, each day, where I miss alcohol and I feel a bit sad and angry that I can't just relax with a glass of wine "like everyone else". I have to remind myself (and I know some my not agree with this self-blame, but it works for me) that I let it get to this point. I abused alcohol, I allowed it to become part of my life, to celebrate minor life moment, to shut out any uncomfortable moment, to get through mundane tasks, to overcome boredom, to build confidence (which is ironic because I feel more confident now than I EVER did drinking), and let go of inhibitions. And it became a habit, a part of my daily routine, a friend, almost an unstated rule of thumb. And I knew I was doing it, I knew it was dangerous, but I kept doing it anyway. So, now that I crossed that line, I have to be done with it or my life will just keep going downhill. I feel that I have been lucky so far, to have gotten away with all that drinking without catastrophic consequences. I know that if I continue, that day will come, where something horrible will happen to me, to my kids, to my family, it would impact my job, etc... And I have worked too hard and love my life and family way too much to let that happen.
So, after 2 weeks what is better in my life:
-I have lost 8 pounds
-I am happier, in general, I smile more
-my house is cleaner, I am more organized
-I connect with people more, I no longer have this secret barrier up
-I sleep better, and wake up ready for the day without guilty or shame
-everything about my face and body looks and feels better- no more puffiness, stiffness, achiness, headaches, etc)
-I am a better mother in every way possible****
-I feel optimistic about my life and I feel like I am on a "journey", like things are only bound to get even better.
I read here on SR the other day someone mention how they feel so much for those who are still in the throws of addication and caught up in that vicious cycle of trying and failing, that constant voice in their head. I absolutely know that I am no where near out of the woods yet, but when I read those posts, I can feel exactly what they are going through, and hope pray that they can overcome that and find some peace.
There are still moments, each day, where I miss alcohol and I feel a bit sad and angry that I can't just relax with a glass of wine "like everyone else". I have to remind myself (and I know some my not agree with this self-blame, but it works for me) that I let it get to this point. I abused alcohol, I allowed it to become part of my life, to celebrate minor life moment, to shut out any uncomfortable moment, to get through mundane tasks, to overcome boredom, to build confidence (which is ironic because I feel more confident now than I EVER did drinking), and let go of inhibitions. And it became a habit, a part of my daily routine, a friend, almost an unstated rule of thumb. And I knew I was doing it, I knew it was dangerous, but I kept doing it anyway. So, now that I crossed that line, I have to be done with it or my life will just keep going downhill. I feel that I have been lucky so far, to have gotten away with all that drinking without catastrophic consequences. I know that if I continue, that day will come, where something horrible will happen to me, to my kids, to my family, it would impact my job, etc... And I have worked too hard and love my life and family way too much to let that happen.
So, after 2 weeks what is better in my life:
-I have lost 8 pounds
-I am happier, in general, I smile more
-my house is cleaner, I am more organized
-I connect with people more, I no longer have this secret barrier up
-I sleep better, and wake up ready for the day without guilty or shame
-everything about my face and body looks and feels better- no more puffiness, stiffness, achiness, headaches, etc)
-I am a better mother in every way possible****
-I feel optimistic about my life and I feel like I am on a "journey", like things are only bound to get even better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Ooops, I accidentally posted this before I proofread or finished, so please excuse the typos.
I am so grateful for SR, coming on here and reading a few times a day, is like therapy for me, it really keeps me going. Thank you.
I am so grateful for SR, coming on here and reading a few times a day, is like therapy for me, it really keeps me going. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
Way to go, Better Life! I knew you could do it. You sound so much like me.
SR got me through the first few weeks. What helped me the most was reading about AVRT. It's here under secular ( though it's for anyone)
It helps you identify your addictive voice( the part of you that wants to drink) & your own rational mind ( the part where you know it's wrong & want to stop).
I would encourage you to read Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey.
It is awesome & has changed my life.
I never got to the part of life where I lost everything but I very well could have.
I had to stop before I ruined all I had worked for.
I have 90 days sober today & I know I will never drink again. The best part is, I don't WANT to. There's no battle in my mind anymore. I'm finally free to be me, be a good wife & mother. I love it. I will never go back to that prison.
Keep it up
SR got me through the first few weeks. What helped me the most was reading about AVRT. It's here under secular ( though it's for anyone)
It helps you identify your addictive voice( the part of you that wants to drink) & your own rational mind ( the part where you know it's wrong & want to stop).
I would encourage you to read Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey.
It is awesome & has changed my life.
I never got to the part of life where I lost everything but I very well could have.
I had to stop before I ruined all I had worked for.
I have 90 days sober today & I know I will never drink again. The best part is, I don't WANT to. There's no battle in my mind anymore. I'm finally free to be me, be a good wife & mother. I love it. I will never go back to that prison.
Keep it up
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Payson, AZ
Posts: 43
Congrats on your 2 weeks and the weight loss. Your post touched on many issues I've had, in particular seeing alcohol as my friend. At around 2 weeks I realized this "friend" had betrayed me. Keeping in mind that I set myself up for this betrayal, I can see things more clearly and can find joy in freedom from the misconceptions I'd held so dear for too long. I'm praying that we both keep going strong despite the fears.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
