somebody shoot me please
somebody shoot me please
I know its my responsibility to get off drugs. I really want to and I really try. I can't do it. I hate myself for not being able to do it. I don't know what to do. I basically told the two people trying to help me to leave me alone because I don't care anymore. I don't really want them to leave me alone but I'm tired of disappointing everyone. I seriously need to be locked away safe from myself. Maybe I'm just weak I don't know but I want to stop and haven't been able to. I just want to kill myself and stop wasting everyone's time with my pathetic BS. The only chance I have is if my choices are taken away from me. Why can't those around me see how screwed up I am? Can I set up my own intervention?I'm ready for help so somebody help me.
Hi Hardy
I'm sorry you're feeling so low - maybe talking to someone on one of these numbers will help?
D
I'm sorry you're feeling so low - maybe talking to someone on one of these numbers will help?
Hopeline-dot-com has free 1-800 line that will connect any caller in the US who needs help to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The number is:
1- 800-784-2433
1- 800-784-2433
The National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Referral Routing Service available at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). This service can provide you with information about treatment programs in your local community and allow you to speak with someone about alcohol problems
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: My Own Headspace
Posts: 158
I know its my responsibility to get off drugs. I really want to and I really try. I can't do it. I hate myself for not being able to do it. I don't know what to do. I basically told the two people trying to help me to leave me alone because I don't care anymore. I don't really want them to leave me alone but I'm tired of disappointing everyone. I seriously need to be locked away safe from myself. Maybe I'm just weak I don't know but I want to stop and haven't been able to. I just want to kill myself and stop wasting everyone's time with my pathetic BS. The only chance I have is if my choices are taken away from me. Why can't those around me see how screwed up I am? Can I set up my own intervention?I'm ready for help so somebody help me.
if you were weak like you say you are, you wouldn't have the guts to come here and share your personal story with us. so try to get that thought out of your head and recognize the bravery it takes in admitting that you have a problem to begin with. that's huge. you need to see that! and give yourself some credit for that. i haven't been around here long, but one common theme i see amongst those of us who are new to sobriety, is beating ourselves up, when we should be patting ourselves on the back instead for the successes were making, even if they seem small to us.
maybe those around you really CAN see that you're struggling, but they're afraid to say something for fear of upsetting you or pushing you over that proverbial edge? just a thought, as that's what my family does. they don't say anything because they think i'm that effing fragile.
if you feel the need for strong intervention (i'm with you here, too), go get it now.
as for setting up your own intervention, why not? what's stopping you?
Fear is stopping me. I'm afraid that if my family finds out they will just disown me and kick me out without helping me get treatment. Then ill still be addicted but totally alone and have nothing. I can't blow my life up without knowing its safe to not be okay and that its okay to need help.
I think a lot of us have fears Hardy - and sometimes those fears can paralyse us.
The fact is tho - you've said you need help to get out of the cycle you're in - you already know you need to make changes...don't back away from that.
Make some calls, check some things out, you don't have to commit to anything...but I hope you will
D
The fact is tho - you've said you need help to get out of the cycle you're in - you already know you need to make changes...don't back away from that.
Make some calls, check some things out, you don't have to commit to anything...but I hope you will
D
Hi hardy...I hid my addiction from my family for years. I only saw them a few times a year on holidays, so they didn't realize that I drank like that everyday. Finally, I hit rock-bottom and turned to my parents for help and they were there to support me, get me treatment etc. I know ever family is different, but you can't beat it alone. Reach out to someone!
hardy -
I'm glad you are posting here. My experience has shown me that while some people are willing to help, they just don't know the type of help we need.
I found that asking others who have beat their addictions to have the best type of help to offer.
You can do this; my hope is you start looking for help in all the right places.
I'm glad you are posting here. My experience has shown me that while some people are willing to help, they just don't know the type of help we need.
I found that asking others who have beat their addictions to have the best type of help to offer.
You can do this; my hope is you start looking for help in all the right places.
Drinking and drugging are bad enough. If you're unfortunate enough to have a host of other stuff going on in the background (as many of us do - "alcoholISM"
for example), simply stopping the drugs or the booze doesn't seem to help THAT much. The drinking related problems stop, sure enough, .....but then you're left to deal with all that other stuff that drinking/drugging helped you quiet, ignore, escape from.
All that other "stuff".....that's what we deal with in 12-step programs. I sure didn't want to "join up." Not by a long shot.....but it's opened up a lot of opportunities for me. As I finally got some relief from all that crap in the background (stuff that I didn't REALLY even know was there), things started to get and feel a whole lot better.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,941
I understand that responsibility, I'm the only one that has the task of not picking up that first drug or drink. But its not easy for many of us that are addicted to change for the better. That feeling of powerlessness is a hard one to overcome. What can help is to be empowered with knowing what to do and then do it.
I would suggest that you continue your participation here at SR. Gain some understanding about the nature of addiction. Put a recovery action plan together and put it to practice. And keep reaching out for support. Another responsibility you can consider is to be active in your own recovery. You can get better
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
The good news is that once you realize that you are the only one with the power to change your future it's pretty easy to get started. You've got so much more strength than you realize - it's time to unleash it. You're in a fight for your life right now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Fear is stopping me. I'm afraid that if my family finds out they will just disown me and kick me out without helping me get treatment. Then ill still be addicted but totally alone and have nothing. I can't blow my life up without knowing its safe to not be okay and that its okay to need help.
Some are telling you to fight harder, some are telling you to surrender.
I surrendered in 1989 and it was the thing to do for me.
You are in a ocean of pain and fear. If you think you can swim to land (wherever it is), then go for it. If you need a lifeguard to save you, just get on your knees and ask God for help, then call NA. Your choice.
Wishing you the best.
Bob R
Hi Hardy -
You've said a couple time that you make "too much money" for government assisted programs because you spend it all on drugs. If you went to rehab and got off the drugs, though, you'd be able to work and put that money towards rent and paying off your treatment. A lot of addicts and alcoholics are in the same boat you are when they first get sober. Have you talked to any of the treatment centers about your situation to see what the costs and payment options are?
What happened with the counselor you were seeing (or supposed to see?). Here's a website with numbers you can call for mental health crisis intervention - it's listed by county :http://www.adp.cahwnet.gov/cojac/pdf...ur_Hotline.pdf
Don't let your family hold you back. Talk to everyone who can help you. I can tell you I'd rather be sober and kicked out, than living in hell and wanting to end my life. We're here for you, hardy. :ghug3
You've said a couple time that you make "too much money" for government assisted programs because you spend it all on drugs. If you went to rehab and got off the drugs, though, you'd be able to work and put that money towards rent and paying off your treatment. A lot of addicts and alcoholics are in the same boat you are when they first get sober. Have you talked to any of the treatment centers about your situation to see what the costs and payment options are?
What happened with the counselor you were seeing (or supposed to see?). Here's a website with numbers you can call for mental health crisis intervention - it's listed by county :http://www.adp.cahwnet.gov/cojac/pdf...ur_Hotline.pdf
Don't let your family hold you back. Talk to everyone who can help you. I can tell you I'd rather be sober and kicked out, than living in hell and wanting to end my life. We're here for you, hardy. :ghug3
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Fear is stopping me. I'm afraid that if my family finds out they will just disown me and kick me out without helping me get treatment. Then ill still be addicted but totally alone and have nothing. I can't blow my life up without knowing its safe to not be okay and that its okay to need help.
You understood it right away. To be so clear about it is a gift for sure.
Fear is stopping you.
Fear also drives us to drink and use.
What's the opposite of fear? Faith.
Pray to God as you understand Him to remove your fear and help you to find a way to get the help you need.
Fear not.
God is for us.
~
AA Kern County Central Office
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