It's True....Alcoholics can have funny times too!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Somewhere in my head!
Posts: 41
It's True....Alcoholics can have funny times too!
Good evening all,
I had to share about my day. I had to have a physical for a job I'm starting on Monday today and since I don't have a car or license I had someone give me a ride to the general area (I live about 45 minutes from almost anything). I had other errands so I was taking the bus back and forth before my appointment at 1pm.
Well anyway, in between bus stops I decided to cross a 6 lane road to run into a store. It was about 10am so traffic wasn't bad thank goodness. I get across the road, step up on the curb and lost my balance. I thought at first that I might be able to keep myself upright until my backpack (with my heavy "Dinosaur" of a laptop) falls off my shoulder and I realized I was done no matter what I tried.
Well, the truly funny part was after I crashed onto my knee and shoulder I managed to sit on the sidewalk to get my bearings. As I looked up I see a cop go cruising by giving me no thought at all. At first I was really kind of peeved that he didn't stop but after a second I realized that I had just crossed the street, lost my balance, fell down, skinned my knee and was sitting there laughing at myself because I had done all this completely SOBER. Imaging that.....If I had actually been drinking that cop would have stopped and probably arrested me for drunk in public.
I did have someone looking out for me though, there was an elderly woman who stopped to see if I was ok. I told her yes, everything but my pride.
Anyway I thought I would share. I am 526 days sober and I sometimes feel that nothing is going right but thank goodness I get moments like this that make me think outside my box of a brain.
Thanks for letting me share. Have a great night.
I had to share about my day. I had to have a physical for a job I'm starting on Monday today and since I don't have a car or license I had someone give me a ride to the general area (I live about 45 minutes from almost anything). I had other errands so I was taking the bus back and forth before my appointment at 1pm.
Well anyway, in between bus stops I decided to cross a 6 lane road to run into a store. It was about 10am so traffic wasn't bad thank goodness. I get across the road, step up on the curb and lost my balance. I thought at first that I might be able to keep myself upright until my backpack (with my heavy "Dinosaur" of a laptop) falls off my shoulder and I realized I was done no matter what I tried.
Well, the truly funny part was after I crashed onto my knee and shoulder I managed to sit on the sidewalk to get my bearings. As I looked up I see a cop go cruising by giving me no thought at all. At first I was really kind of peeved that he didn't stop but after a second I realized that I had just crossed the street, lost my balance, fell down, skinned my knee and was sitting there laughing at myself because I had done all this completely SOBER. Imaging that.....If I had actually been drinking that cop would have stopped and probably arrested me for drunk in public.
I did have someone looking out for me though, there was an elderly woman who stopped to see if I was ok. I told her yes, everything but my pride.
Anyway I thought I would share. I am 526 days sober and I sometimes feel that nothing is going right but thank goodness I get moments like this that make me think outside my box of a brain.
Thanks for letting me share. Have a great night.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Yeah...great stuff...but glad you weren't hurt. You're not trying to mimic the Jay Walker as described in the Big Book, 'eh?
I haven't fallen down in 18 months. I can't call that funny, but the times I did while intoxicated are finally fleeing my memory.
I haven't fallen down in 18 months. I can't call that funny, but the times I did while intoxicated are finally fleeing my memory.
dude in recovery
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Gulf Coast, TX
Posts: 1,504
I had a 'great' wreck on my bicycle at about 2 months sober (curb jumped outta nowhere).
People did see me and not a one asked if I was OK, maybe because I went completely mental, laughing like a demented clown as I threw the bike ~20 feet away. The bike landed in a church parking lot, of all places and I was glad no one was there except for God and myself. Like you, I was\am so glad I could laugh that off, not head straight for the beer store to drowned myself. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
:rotfxko
Thanks for sharin! Lunatic
The best falls are in slow-mo: I once (sober. I couldn't ride my bike drunk) got to a red traffic light and slowed to a stop, then realised my shoelace had caught up in my peddle and effectively tied my foot to my bike. It was the left - the one I always put out to rest on when I stop. I'd already started the tilt to the left, could rebalance, couldn't move my foot, and just slowly fell over onto my side. ROFL just remembering it now.
Huge numbers of cars, all stationary at the lights, watching me with wide eyes.
Thing is, my foot was still trapped and the lights were goin to change, so I had to, still lying on my side, kinda just inch myself and my bike over to the verge and up onto the grass. Everyone watching. All complicated by the fact that I was laughing so hard I nearly peed myself.
Ha!
Thanks for sharin! Lunatic
The best falls are in slow-mo: I once (sober. I couldn't ride my bike drunk) got to a red traffic light and slowed to a stop, then realised my shoelace had caught up in my peddle and effectively tied my foot to my bike. It was the left - the one I always put out to rest on when I stop. I'd already started the tilt to the left, could rebalance, couldn't move my foot, and just slowly fell over onto my side. ROFL just remembering it now.
Huge numbers of cars, all stationary at the lights, watching me with wide eyes.
Thing is, my foot was still trapped and the lights were goin to change, so I had to, still lying on my side, kinda just inch myself and my bike over to the verge and up onto the grass. Everyone watching. All complicated by the fact that I was laughing so hard I nearly peed myself.
Ha!
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
SSLLLLEEEEPPPPPIIIIIINNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!! That story was effin awesome and I just laughed my arse (that's French for Buttocks) off! That was so funny. Yeah the slow fall. Well...the fast fall, where your legs slip out in front of you, so you are parallel to the ground for a bit...before crashing down can be equally funny.
Man, I was a waiter in a restaurant. Carrying a shrimp platter out to a co-worker's table. I his a wet spot and feet up, like I'm levitating. Then, bam, down I go. the plate breaks over me, I'm covered in shrimp sauce, people think its blood, everyone is staring at me, I don't know if I'm even hurt yet, and the waitress walks up (the platter was going to her table), and says, while I'm laying there on the ground, "Great, guess I'll have to tell my table their food will be late!" Then she walks away.
Man, I was a waiter in a restaurant. Carrying a shrimp platter out to a co-worker's table. I his a wet spot and feet up, like I'm levitating. Then, bam, down I go. the plate breaks over me, I'm covered in shrimp sauce, people think its blood, everyone is staring at me, I don't know if I'm even hurt yet, and the waitress walks up (the platter was going to her table), and says, while I'm laying there on the ground, "Great, guess I'll have to tell my table their food will be late!" Then she walks away.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Originally Posted by Ghostly 
worker's table. I his a wet spot and feet up, like I'm levitating. Then, bam, down I go.
dude in recovery
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Gulf Coast, TX
Posts: 1,504
Originally Posted by Ghostly
, so you are parallel to the ground for a bit...before crashing down can be equally funny.
I've always liked this one:
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
that is one of my favorite movies too.
when he is stuck in the hole in the floor and shelly long comes home, they argue..
"it's amazing that you ever passed the Bar" (he's an attorney)
"YOU never passed a bar in your life"!
she answers...."You're so much more attractive when I'm drunk".
when he is stuck in the hole in the floor and shelly long comes home, they argue..
"it's amazing that you ever passed the Bar" (he's an attorney)
"YOU never passed a bar in your life"!
she answers...."You're so much more attractive when I'm drunk".
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Near Scranton PA
Posts: 424
I was going to a new meeting on a Saturday morning at 10 AM. The church was large with way more doors than were necessary. It's also on a very busy corner smack dab in the middle of our, relatively, small town.
Door #1 - locked
Door #2 - locked
Door #3 - locked
Door #4 - also locked but I pulled on it so mightily that I slipped backwards and tumbled down the four steps to the sidewalk. The old guys in the barbershop across the street and the people stopped at the traffic light got an impromptu show. I was sober as a judge but must have looked every bit the town drunk, or village idiot, as the case may be.
Door #1 - locked
Door #2 - locked
Door #3 - locked
Door #4 - also locked but I pulled on it so mightily that I slipped backwards and tumbled down the four steps to the sidewalk. The old guys in the barbershop across the street and the people stopped at the traffic light got an impromptu show. I was sober as a judge but must have looked every bit the town drunk, or village idiot, as the case may be.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Hahahaha! Nice Sober!
H was 13, walking down a dusty road in Australia, hands firmly tucked into the back pockets of his skin tight stretch jeans (hey it was the eighties). Let's be generous and call him on the chubby side.
He's walking, he's walking, his foot hits a stone, he's overbalancing ... and he's down. Hands still tucked firmly in the back pockets of his tightly stretched jeans. Rumours of a seismic reading from the area might just have been a coincidence. The truckload of teenage kids who drove past him as he went down and p:ssed themselves laughing could possibly confirm.
Throwing an empty beer can at his little head was just mean, but they went there, oh they went there. Then sped off and left him in a cloud of dust. Flat on his face, with hands still tucked firmly into the back pockets of... well, you get it.
H was 13, walking down a dusty road in Australia, hands firmly tucked into the back pockets of his skin tight stretch jeans (hey it was the eighties). Let's be generous and call him on the chubby side.
He's walking, he's walking, his foot hits a stone, he's overbalancing ... and he's down. Hands still tucked firmly in the back pockets of his tightly stretched jeans. Rumours of a seismic reading from the area might just have been a coincidence. The truckload of teenage kids who drove past him as he went down and p:ssed themselves laughing could possibly confirm.
Throwing an empty beer can at his little head was just mean, but they went there, oh they went there. Then sped off and left him in a cloud of dust. Flat on his face, with hands still tucked firmly into the back pockets of... well, you get it.
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Awesome SOBERINNEPA!
^ This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. I was crying as I read this post, and had to come back to it again. I would have loved to have seen this.
Originally Posted by stillsleeping
Thing is, my foot was still trapped and the lights were goin to change, so I had to, still lying on my side, kinda just inch myself and my bike over to the verge and up onto the grass. Everyone watching.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Haha! Me an H were pssing ourselves laughing as we wrote it. I have heard and told that story endlessly over the 8 years we've known each other and it still cracks. me. up.
Poor baby. Flat on his face. Went down like a fricken tree. :rotfxko
Poor baby. Flat on his face. Went down like a fricken tree. :rotfxko
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
You guys are funny.
I've discovered, unfortunately, that I am just as clumsy sober as I ever was when I was drunk. I didn't inherit the "grace" gene. My mom is the same way ... we can hurt ourselves on anything. Trip over things that aren't there, drop things, walk into walls, fall up stairs ... I've been teased about it my whole life.
Did have a funny sober moment the other day though. A group of us girls are going on a "women in recovery" retreat the last weekend of April and we're trying to find a good place to stay because the accommodations at the retreat sounded kind of sketchy. So one of the gals is calling around town to find a cheap motel where we can all stay and has had a little trouble. She called me the other day and told me she thought she found a place and needed $$$ to reserve it so we don't lose it ... she said, "I'd hate for us to get there and end up having to sleep on the floor." Without even thinking, I said, "Wouldn't be so bad ... we're drunks. I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time any of us slept on the floor. Might be fun doing it sober for a change." I wasn't trying to be funny, but I thought she was going to bust a gut laughing.
Ah, the sweet moments of sobriety.
I've discovered, unfortunately, that I am just as clumsy sober as I ever was when I was drunk. I didn't inherit the "grace" gene. My mom is the same way ... we can hurt ourselves on anything. Trip over things that aren't there, drop things, walk into walls, fall up stairs ... I've been teased about it my whole life.
Did have a funny sober moment the other day though. A group of us girls are going on a "women in recovery" retreat the last weekend of April and we're trying to find a good place to stay because the accommodations at the retreat sounded kind of sketchy. So one of the gals is calling around town to find a cheap motel where we can all stay and has had a little trouble. She called me the other day and told me she thought she found a place and needed $$$ to reserve it so we don't lose it ... she said, "I'd hate for us to get there and end up having to sleep on the floor." Without even thinking, I said, "Wouldn't be so bad ... we're drunks. I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time any of us slept on the floor. Might be fun doing it sober for a change." I wasn't trying to be funny, but I thought she was going to bust a gut laughing.
Ah, the sweet moments of sobriety.
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