3 Yrs Ago
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,071
Originally Posted by Lost3000 
And you realize that "her" is me? I have mixed emotions when reading my past posts: Sadness, regret, humor (bitter), irritation - I guess none of them are good.
It feels kind of eerie to read. A good reminder that we absolutely control what happens to us. Thanks for posting it.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Originally Posted by Itchy
Good posts lost. Thanks. One thing I see being repeated a lot is the friends and excitement and all of that 3 bucks will buy me a good cup of coffee. I honestly don't care what any other chooses for themselves, and am on no mission. I am here for folks for support and get that in return, but I am very happy to let the universe turn without pretending I can change any of it but me. Me I got! You you sound like you've got you covered too. Stay had by your self.
All we can do here is be here, and share what we found and what is normal and what you need to consult a doc about.
But the biggest things we do here are talk without fear as all have been where we were and are, and listen without judgment or expectations. Everyone is on their path, and sometimes like here, we are lucky enough to have many trails converge on this spot. And now we can see it and return for some camaraderie.
All we can do here is be here, and share what we found and what is normal and what you need to consult a doc about.
But the biggest things we do here are talk without fear as all have been where we were and are, and listen without judgment or expectations. Everyone is on their path, and sometimes like here, we are lucky enough to have many trails converge on this spot. And now we can see it and return for some camaraderie.
I think I've got me covered. At least in the sense that I believe I'm on the right track. I wasn't so sure about a month ago, but those worries have seemingly been put to rest. I'm not cured, or magically living this great life (just got into an argument with my husband about 1/2 an hour ago) but I'm living a MUCH better life, I'm more aware and conscious, and overall I'm MUCH happier. Thanks Itchy!
Originally Posted by GirlFromCO
I didn't mean to say that I feel sorry for you now - far from it. I admire your strength. You just sound so hopeful in that old post - it's sad to think that you (or "she" as in the past tense you) had all that crap ahead of you before you'd finally find some peace.
It feels kind of eerie to read. A good reminder that we absolutely control what happens to us. Thanks for posting it.
It feels kind of eerie to read. A good reminder that we absolutely control what happens to us. Thanks for posting it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Great post, honest to the bone. Thank you for sharing and congrats on your sober time.
I can look back at my own efforts and see bargaining and blaming and minimizing and avoiding...anything but recognizing the big elephant in the middle of the room: booze.
It's humbling to look back at myself with compassion and know that I couldn't change any faster than I did, until I was ready. Thank god SR was here.
I can look back at my own efforts and see bargaining and blaming and minimizing and avoiding...anything but recognizing the big elephant in the middle of the room: booze.
It's humbling to look back at myself with compassion and know that I couldn't change any faster than I did, until I was ready. Thank god SR was here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Lost...Just catching up to posts.. really glad you posted this. Your note from 3 years ago speaks to me. In a way that is similar to what I'm (and a lot of other people are) going through. That whole debate about when I can drink, how much, ect. the whole, 'I don't reeaallly have a problem'
Must have been hard for you to share, but glad you did.
I find your post very positive, because you have grow as a person since the original post. Trusting I can do the same.
This time on your vacation you won't have that internal dialogue about should I drink, if so how much, then the inevitable, what did I do that for. Think of the mental energy that will save.
Jim
Must have been hard for you to share, but glad you did.
I find your post very positive, because you have grow as a person since the original post. Trusting I can do the same.
This time on your vacation you won't have that internal dialogue about should I drink, if so how much, then the inevitable, what did I do that for. Think of the mental energy that will save.
Jim
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Hi all, thanks for the well wishes. Jim, yes, I will save energy, won't I? I mean this time around, I'm not spending the energy even before the vacation - to try to figure out how I'll manage my booze, where the bars are, how I can get booze into my hotel room easiest, including the booze cost in my budget, etc.
It's very freeing to know I can do whatever I want, without worrying about being too drunk or hungover to do it.
I think I have grown - but the frustrating part is that it's been so slooooow. And sometimes I feel like I've just slipped back to an old way of thinking.
I had an argument with my husband yesterday. I was stressed about work and he's experiencing an illness (that he'll get over, not serious). I think I got overly angry, and then I got very sad. I couldn't pull myself out of it. I tried a variety of things and in the end felt exhausted. And --- for the first time I thought about how nice it'd be if I could just have a glass of wine. How much calmer I'd feel. How I could get over these feelings if I could have a bottle of wine. I realized the thought for what it was right away and went to work on getting out of my funk. It was really tough.
Today is a better day and I'm glad I am sober. Working through emotions without the handy sedative of booze is very hard.
It's very freeing to know I can do whatever I want, without worrying about being too drunk or hungover to do it.
I think I have grown - but the frustrating part is that it's been so slooooow. And sometimes I feel like I've just slipped back to an old way of thinking.
I had an argument with my husband yesterday. I was stressed about work and he's experiencing an illness (that he'll get over, not serious). I think I got overly angry, and then I got very sad. I couldn't pull myself out of it. I tried a variety of things and in the end felt exhausted. And --- for the first time I thought about how nice it'd be if I could just have a glass of wine. How much calmer I'd feel. How I could get over these feelings if I could have a bottle of wine. I realized the thought for what it was right away and went to work on getting out of my funk. It was really tough.
Today is a better day and I'm glad I am sober. Working through emotions without the handy sedative of booze is very hard.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Hey Lost...Glad today is better and you were able to get out of your funk..
'Working through emotions without the handy sedative of booze is very hard' That is where the growth is. (easier said than done!).
Jim
'Working through emotions without the handy sedative of booze is very hard' That is where the growth is. (easier said than done!).
Jim
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