I can't take it
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Seattle, Wa
Posts: 114
I can't take it
I just wanna scream...had the last few beers in my fridge...all I want is more. It's like I'm a damn monster. It's like my whole existence revolves around more more more...I f-ing hate this! I can't get enough...I hate feeling this way and I hate that I have become this. I just wanna get thru today without going to get more. 
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
You can do this and that's what you do. You get through the day without drinking anymore. You're caught in the obsessive-compulsive aspect of addiction and you need to step out of it. You can do this!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Eating really helps cravings, too (especially something sweet)...... The addicted part of our brain is always going to want more and it will throw fits at first, like a spoiled kid.
Hang around here and read like crazy. Deep breaths, too. The craving won't last forever...... (sending a little prayer out for ya).....
Hang around here and read like crazy. Deep breaths, too. The craving won't last forever...... (sending a little prayer out for ya).....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Even if you don't like the program of AA...Go to a meeting...It is very calming being around a bunch of people that have been where you are....That know exactly what you're going through...Just feeling you aren't so alone is a big help. Check in here daily and don't drink....An hour at a time if you have to.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
If you're like me Ryan, you've drank for years - it takes time to learn we don;t have to respond to the craving in our head.
I think support is really important - whether it's online or real life, it's importantto remember you have another option now - you can find others who undertsnad and try to talk it out
Try not to get discouraged - it's a life change - many of us faltered a time or two.
D
I think support is really important - whether it's online or real life, it's importantto remember you have another option now - you can find others who undertsnad and try to talk it out
Try not to get discouraged - it's a life change - many of us faltered a time or two.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA.
Posts: 235
I just happened to read the book, "Rational Recovery" for the first time today and it opened some big doors for me. Now I'm seeing things a little differently. I'm going to try an experiment below and try to understand what I read and apply it to your post. Take it or leave it, it's just a way for me to start understanding my own recovery and if it helps you, right on. If it sounds preachy or like I'm crazy, oh well, it's just a way for me to put some sense to what I'm going through and hopefully sheds some light for you too.
But I'm no expert, that's for sure.
Ok, that helped me a little. I needed that. Thanks.
But I'm no expert, that's for sure.
Originally Posted by RyanRyan 
[ Yes that was you, and it would seem you let your addictive voice win this battle] ...all I want is more[ Aha, see, this is NOT you, this "I' is just your adictive voice, because the real you does not want to drink at all. I mean, who wants to go through the pain you are experiencing? Only one thing does, the beast, or your "AV"]. It's like I'm a damn monster. [You are NOT the monster, your AV is the monster! Now you need to decide who will win these arguements going forward, you, or your "monster".] It's like my whole existence revolves around more more more...I f-ing hate this! [ Yes, YOU do hate this addictive voice and it's winning. Fortunately your existence does NOT revolve around this because YOU have control over your monster, so tell it you're done, and be done. It's time to get on with your life.] I can't get enough [Your AV can't get enough, YOU however have had ENOUGH.]...I hate feeling this way and I hate that I have become this [ YOU have not become anything but someone who has let your beast/AV take over your body and decision making. Time to take back the control from this monster. Don't you agree?] I just wanna get thru today without going to get more.[ Then get through the day. Tell your AV to go F*UCK itself and take back the control of your actions. Separate yourself from this AV/beast and look it in the ugly face and tell it you're done drinking. It will fight, kick, claw and scream at you, but those are YOUR hands that pick up the drink, not your AV's. Look at your hands, seriously. Who controls them, you or this monster? Make the decision now. Stop drinking.]
That means a lot Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Seattle, Wa
Posts: 114
Going to bed now
Didn't go to buy more 
...I guess 3 visits to the store yesterday made me feel like a fool enough for two days. 
Tomorrow is day one all over again. Need to get to five days, haven't done that in years. I'm thinking I'll be on SR quite a bit. I'll need the help.
...I guess 3 visits to the store yesterday made me feel like a fool enough for two days. Tomorrow is day one all over again. Need to get to five days, haven't done that in years. I'm thinking I'll be on SR quite a bit. I'll need the help.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA.
Posts: 235
Originally Posted by RyanRyan
Thanks for taking the time to write that out. It was very helpful to me. So silly the way we think isn't it
18 days for me baby!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: BC
Posts: 8
I don't feel in a position to really put out much advice, because I can completely relate.. However, what helps me a lot of the time (if nothing else but to stay positive and focused on what I want, which is to stop drinking) is to imagine how ecstatic I will feel the next morning - once I have followed through with my word to myself in regards to drinking goals... Whether small or large.. Any victory against addiction is worth praising, imo.
Good luck!
Good luck!
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