Starting over
 

I haven't been around in a while. I actually got to 90 days sober and things were good. And then my father in law died suddenly of a heart attack. And I had a glass of wine at the funeral. And then nothing for a few days. And then my husband and I went out to eat, and I had 2 glasses. And last night I got drunk and I'm devastated with myself. I had been doing so well. Feel like a big failure.

Welcome back!

I'm sorry for the loss of your father-in-law.

So, what can you do differently this time when something difficult comes along? Is there a plan in place for how to get through the tough times without drinking?

I'm sorry for your loss too Mammy - but I'm glad you're back :)

D

No I don't really have a plan. Pretty depressed all day.

I understand you feel bad, but I think actions the key to getting to somewhere better :)
Feeling bad about drinking always tended to bring me back to more drinking.

Whats done is done - start deciding how you want to live the rest of your life and what you need to do to start working towards that :)

D

Don't beat yourself up Mammy...There are ways out of this mess...A lot of us have been there...Are you familiar with any recover programs?...AA....AVRT...SMART?

Sorry for your loss.

My drinking always escalates once I start. The control I have the first few times never lasts.

I cannot change my capacity for cravings brought on by having some alcohol.

Welcome back! You're great for picking yourself up and coming right back! Hang in there - get some sleep and drink a bunch of water. You'll feel better in a couple of days and ready to figure out a game plan. The important thing is that you' re back and working on your sobriety.

Hope you get a good night's sleep :) Hang in there!

Hi there.
I'm new, but I want to say that I feel for you.
But try not to go down the failure road. You just fell down. I have some skinned knees myself today but going right back in the ring.

I am thinking good thoughts for you.

I found I needed a live support system when I decided to get sober. I would suggest find a program of recovery that works for you, commit to it, and follow through. I used AA, but there are lots of options to explore. I think recovery is always uncomfortable in the beginning for everyone until we learn how to live a sober life. Good luck.

Welcome back. You are not a failure, you can turn this around and live the life you want. :)

Yes i really thought I had a handle on it. That I could have just 2. It never worked. I got to 90 days I can do it again. I feel better this morning. Just scared to fail again.
I'm not familiar with AA meetings in my area. I have 3 kids and that takes up a lot of my time but I recall coming on here a lot my first month last time.

I think if you found a woman's meeting of AA, you might be z amazed at the support you would get.

Maybe you could call an AA hotline, tell whoever answers that you'd like to try a meeting but the scheduling is hard, and see what they may suggest/

I know in large cities it's easy to find meetings where children are cared for.

Just an idea. No harm in making the call though.

I agreee about the womens meetings, they are awesome, and a lot of fun too. And you're not a failure, you just had a relapse thats all. We all have them. That is just a reminder to yourself of what not to try next time. :) I had 50 days once and I thought I could drink again, found myself plastered and almost killed myself falling down some stairs. Lesson learned: I cannot ever safely use alcohol in any form at all.

Hey keep trying... today is a great day to quit!!! We're all pulling for you!

Mammy, I found sobriety and peace in Alcoholics Anonymous. It may just work for you too.

All the best.

Bob R

Yes, perhaps you could find someone to watch your boys for just an hour while you attend? :) If not look into some online AA meetings, they are great to sit in on as well.

Oh I can relate to Mammy and FlyerFan. I thought I had a handle on it, could handle it and to be a 'normal' person, I 'should' be able to handle it. Many people can't handle it and we are still awesome people. I'm on this site to talk myself out of shame from my recent relapse and it's good to know people can falter and still succeed. Thanks to you guys.

Thanks everyone. Those are some great ideas and I can see how AA would help me. I will look into it. I have the National AA schedule look up saved on my PC. I didn't realize there were also online meetings you could attend. Although the face to face would probably be better for me.
Thanks for all the positive energy and hope. I'm very tough on myself so the guilt of the relapse ate away at me yesterday.

I too didn't think I had time for AA, but I made the time. I have 2 very active daughters and I work a full-time job. I knew nothing about AA when I crawled in there a little over 1 year ago. AA turned my life around. AA is not a magic cure as no program of recovery is. For a program to work you have to put in the work. Give AA or another program a chance. It will work if you commit and work the program.