where do I begin... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-08-2012, 04:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: London
Posts: 2

where do I begin...


Hi, just found this site and have a need to do something but unsure where to start... Aged 57 and have been a good time drinker since early teens. Pubs were my social life with mates or after work with colleagues followed by home drinking to oblivion...

I've managed to slow the pace to a point where I don't drink during the week but inevitably I drink Friday through to Sunday, evenings only, mostly wine... I'll finish a bottle and crack open another..invariably fall asleep on the sofa.

I have never been able to just have a drink, I always finish a bottle and will always continue if I am capable of downing more.... I have some will power to stop for a couple of weeks but inevitably ther's a dinner party or social thing that lures me to the first glass. I recognise that I have an addiction which may not be as bad as some others on this site but may also be worse than others, I guess we are all different but with the same curse of addiction..

How best to overcome my problem is my question? do I find a local AA meeting as a start? I am certainly not regarded as a drunk and know that I would have support from family and friends but feel scared to begin to say goodbye to my evil life crutch....

Any words of advice appreciated!!
manfriday is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to manfriday For This Useful Post:
Eliasson (04-08-2012), instant (04-08-2012), micealc (04-08-2012), Retread59 (04-08-2012), RevivingOphelia (04-08-2012), sissy07 (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 04:54 AM   #2 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 179,191
Blog Entries: 1
Hi manfriday - welcome

If you're open to AA I think it's definitely the most accessible option.
I think you could do worse than to hit a meeting and check it out

Coming here is a good step too - you'll find a lot of help advice and support - from AAers and from people using other methods too

good to have you with us

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
manfriday (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 05:02 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 9,003
Quote:
Originally Posted by manfriday View Post
do I find a local AA meeting as a start? I am certainly not regarded as a drunk and know that I would have support from family and friends but feel scared to begin to say goodbye to my evil life crutch....
Welco9me manfriday...Coming here is a great start....AA is what worked for me....It's nice to be around people that have the same intention you have...By the way....Life is wonderful...Without the crutch.....Evil is the right word.
Sapling is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sapling For This Useful Post:
Leemzer (04-08-2012), manfriday (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 05:54 AM   #4 (permalink)
instant
 
instant's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,701
Blog Entries: 7
MF
Your storey is similar to mine. I was sick of the struggle of keeping a lid on it, and wasting my spare time, health and relationships etc. The final hook to keep me in were ideas relating Fridays and other times needing to be 'special'.

I found reading the big book, AVRT short course (both free online), and a daily support thread here invaluable. I think the thing that made the most difference for me this time is that I admitted defeat and was ready to surrender. Alcohol beat me not the other way round, it is a big difference.

See you around.
__________________
Then there was never enough.....now there is plenty

May 15 2011
instant is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to instant For This Useful Post:
manfriday (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 06:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Leemzer's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
Quote:
Originally Posted by instant View Post
MF
Your storey is similar to mine. I was sick of the struggle of keeping a lid on it, and wasting my spare time, health and relationships etc. The final hook to keep me in were ideas relating Fridays and other times needing to be 'special'.



See you around.
INSTANT---THANK YOU! This is the most "Me" statement I have ever read. In all of my research I came across a statement once that sooo clearly defined me: "The problem drinker, with help, usually comes to the realization that it is easier to abstain altogether than to attempt to moderate." Well, it was something like that. And the evil quality that drinking is somehow a "reward." I used to feel the same way about cigarettes. What a bunch of bunk. Thank you so much for this simple post. Sometimes these are the ones that hit you in the gut! Also, manfriday, welcome. You will find support here. There are many of us on here like you who don't drink every day but cannot control our drinking when we do....I would be one of those men. Feel free to reach out when you need to. I and others on here are always here to lend a helpful ear. You will find this board is full of exceptional, warm folks. You can do this!
LMZR
Leemzer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2012, 06:13 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
AA has worked for me for quite a while now.

Life today is far more rewarding than it used to be.

Wishing you the best..

Bob R
2granddaughters is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to 2granddaughters For This Useful Post:
manfriday (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 06:24 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
hypochondriac's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,664
Don't be scared Manfriday...you could do worse than read Easy way to Stop Drinking by Allen Carr and/or Rational Recovery - The New Cure for Substance Addiction by Jack Trimpey. Or like Instant said, do the AVRT short course online. This was my chosen path but there are many others. You'll get lot's of help on here. Welcome
__________________


'The less I needed, the better I felt' - Charles Bukowski
hypochondriac is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to hypochondriac For This Useful Post:
manfriday (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 06:40 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
BobGT's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Up, Up and Away
Posts: 434
Hi and welcome, Manfriday! There are many structured plans for quitting drinking including AA, AVRT, and SMART. These seem to be the most discussed here on SR.

I would suggest reading about all of them and picking the one that seems to be the best fit for you. Based on people's stories, they all seem to help if you really want to quit and do the work the method requires.

Good luck. Keep posting if you have questions or just to let us know how you are doing. See you around the forum.
__________________
Don't hurt anyone, help when you can, and try to have some fun.
BobGT is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to BobGT For This Useful Post:
manfriday (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 07:37 AM   #9 (permalink)
Choosing Life
 
desertsong's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Welcome!!! AA saved my life; it could save yours too. Glad you're here.
__________________
Rebirth day: January 4, 2013

Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose; this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down. ~Mary Pickford
desertsong is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to desertsong For This Useful Post:
manfriday (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 07:51 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 471
Welcome!!
__________________
Everyone has inside of them a
piece of good news.
The good news is that you don't
know how great you can be!
How much you can love!
What you can accomplish!
And what your potential is!

--Anne Frank
saphira is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2012, 08:03 AM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
MarkstheSpot's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 186
Based on what you've said I think you might find AA a bit hardcore*. I went about ten years ago and came away convinced I didn't have a problem. My advice would be to kick the booze into touch and hang around here, get an idea of the different shades and varieties of the addiction and be inspired by what other members are doing to tackle it. I wish I'd found this place ten years ago, put it that way.

*(other opinions are available, of course)
MarkstheSpot is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MarkstheSpot For This Useful Post:
manfriday (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 08:09 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
OCDDan's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
you might want to find something to do to replace the time you spent drinking, sitting around thinking about it is tough. and also, people are going to ask you why you are not drinking with them, you might want to think about what to tell them.. I've had people tell me that they wish they could quit too. Good Luck! and welcome
__________________
10/2015
OCDDan is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to OCDDan For This Useful Post:
manfriday (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 08:47 AM   #13 (permalink)
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,179
I own The Alcoholism & Addiction Cure by Pax & Chris Prentiss, but I couldn't read much, it kept triggering me to want to drink. I ended up using AA. The AA textbook is online and online in an audio version.

xa-speakers.org also has speaker tapes (speaker meetings that have been taped), so you could take a listen.

So, you have a wealth of material to research now. Read AVRT, AA, listen, or attend a meeting (I believe SMART Recovery has meetings, SOS has meetings, AA has meetings).

So many choices! You started on SR, this is a great place to hang out, too!

Glad you are here!
__________________
Someday it will all make sense, so laugh at confusion, smile through tears,
& remind yourself it All happens for a reason.


All Big Book quotes are from the 1st edition.
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Sober since May 16, 2011
sugarbear1 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to sugarbear1 For This Useful Post:
manfriday (04-08-2012)
Old 04-08-2012, 09:57 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: London
Posts: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkstheSpot View Post
Based on what you've said I think you might find AA a bit hardcore*. I went about ten years ago and came away convinced I didn't have a problem. My advice would be to kick the booze into touch and hang around here, get an idea of the different shades and varieties of the addiction and be inspired by what other members are doing to tackle it. I wish I'd found this place ten years ago, put it that way.

*(other opinions are available, of course)
WOW...... so many replies, really glad that I found this site, I suspect that the wise words of all you guys will be invaluable.....

I tend to think that I'm not the AA meeting guy.......yet, but I will be reading the AA material and keep the option open... I have started to read AVRT which has been suggested by some of you and will pursue that process..

Had friends over for dinner last night and the booze flowed, have decided that last night was my last session.... Al and Co are on permanent Hol !!!

Tonights Sunday roast with my wife and kids will include wine for my wife but my new motto is 'today i will be sober'.......

I kicked the tobacco addiction and with the support of this site and all you guys I am determined to stay sober and get my weekends/life back....

I will keep reading all the posts to gain strength from others and to learn, many thanks to you all......... all the best!!
manfriday is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to manfriday For This Useful Post:
BobGT (04-08-2012), hypochondriac (04-08-2012), micealc (04-08-2012), sugarbear1 (04-08-2012)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:49 AM.