manfriday

Hi, just found this site and have a need to do something but unsure where to start... Aged 57 and have been a good time drinker since early teens. Pubs were my social life with mates or after work with colleagues followed by home drinking to oblivion...

I've managed to slow the pace to a point where I don't drink during the week but inevitably I drink Friday through to Sunday, evenings only, mostly wine... I'll finish a bottle and crack open another..invariably fall asleep on the sofa.

I have never been able to just have a drink, I always finish a bottle and will always continue if I am capable of downing more.... I have some will power to stop for a couple of weeks but inevitably ther's a dinner party or social thing that lures me to the first glass. I recognise that I have an addiction which may not be as bad as some others on this site but may also be worse than others, I guess we are all different but with the same curse of addiction..

How best to overcome my problem is my question? do I find a local AA meeting as a start? I am certainly not regarded as a drunk and know that I would have support from family and friends but feel scared to begin to say goodbye to my evil life crutch....

Any words of advice appreciated!!

Dee74

Hi manfriday - welcome

If you're open to AA I think it's definitely the most accessible option.
I think you could do worse than to hit a meeting and check it out

Coming here is a good step too - you'll find a lot of help advice and support - from AAers and from people using other methods too

good to have you with us

D

Sapling

Welco9me manfriday...Coming here is a great start....AA is what worked for me....It's nice to be around people that have the same intention you have...By the way....Life is wonderful...Without the crutch.....Evil is the right word.

instant

MF
Your storey is similar to mine. I was sick of the struggle of keeping a lid on it, and wasting my spare time, health and relationships etc. The final hook to keep me in were ideas relating Fridays and other times needing to be 'special'.

I found reading the big book, AVRT short course (both free online), and a daily support thread here invaluable. I think the thing that made the most difference for me this time is that I admitted defeat and was ready to surrender. Alcohol beat me not the other way round, it is a big difference.

See you around.

Leemzer

INSTANT---THANK YOU! This is the most "Me" statement I have ever read. In all of my research I came across a statement once that sooo clearly defined me: "The problem drinker, with help, usually comes to the realization that it is easier to abstain altogether than to attempt to moderate." Well, it was something like that. And the evil quality that drinking is somehow a "reward." I used to feel the same way about cigarettes. What a bunch of bunk. Thank you so much for this simple post. Sometimes these are the ones that hit you in the gut! Also, manfriday, welcome. You will find support here. There are many of us on here like you who don't drink every day but cannot control our drinking when we do....I would be one of those men. Feel free to reach out when you need to. I and others on here are always here to lend a helpful ear. You will find this board is full of exceptional, warm folks. You can do this!
LMZR

2granddaughters

AA has worked for me for quite a while now.

Life today is far more rewarding than it used to be.

Wishing you the best..

Bob R

hypochondriac

Don't be scared Manfriday...you could do worse than read Easy way to Stop Drinking by Allen Carr and/or Rational Recovery - The New Cure for Substance Addiction by Jack Trimpey. Or like Instant said, do the AVRT short course online. This was my chosen path but there are many others. You'll get lot's of help on here. Welcome

BobGT

Hi and welcome, Manfriday! There are many structured plans for quitting drinking including AA, AVRT, and SMART. These seem to be the most discussed here on SR.

I would suggest reading about all of them and picking the one that seems to be the best fit for you. Based on people's stories, they all seem to help if you really want to quit and do the work the method requires.

Good luck. Keep posting if you have questions or just to let us know how you are doing. See you around the forum.

desertsong

Welcome!!! AA saved my life; it could save yours too. Glad you're here.

saphira

Welcome!!

MarkstheSpot

Based on what you've said I think you might find AA a bit hardcore*. I went about ten years ago and came away convinced I didn't have a problem. My advice would be to kick the booze into touch and hang around here, get an idea of the different shades and varieties of the addiction and be inspired by what other members are doing to tackle it. I wish I'd found this place ten years ago, put it that way.

*(other opinions are available, of course)

OCDDan

you might want to find something to do to replace the time you spent drinking, sitting around thinking about it is tough. and also, people are going to ask you why you are not drinking with them, you might want to think about what to tell them.. I've had people tell me that they wish they could quit too. Good Luck! and welcome

sugarbear1

I own The Alcoholism & Addiction Cure by Pax & Chris Prentiss, but I couldn't read much, it kept triggering me to want to drink. I ended up using AA. The AA textbook is online and online in an audio version.

xa-speakers.org also has speaker tapes (speaker meetings that have been taped), so you could take a listen.

So, you have a wealth of material to research now. Read AVRT, AA, listen, or attend a meeting (I believe SMART Recovery has meetings, SOS has meetings, AA has meetings).

So many choices! You started on SR, this is a great place to hang out, too!

Glad you are here!

manfriday

WOW...... so many replies, really glad that I found this site, I suspect that the wise words of all you guys will be invaluable.....

I tend to think that I'm not the AA meeting guy.......yet, but I will be reading the AA material and keep the option open... I have started to read AVRT which has been suggested by some of you and will pursue that process..

Had friends over for dinner last night and the booze flowed, have decided that last night was my last session.... Al and Co are on permanent Hol !!!

Tonights Sunday roast with my wife and kids will include wine for my wife but my new motto is 'today i will be sober'.......

I kicked the tobacco addiction and with the support of this site and all you guys I am determined to stay sober and get my weekends/life back....

I will keep reading all the posts to gain strength from others and to learn, many thanks to you all......... all the best!!