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How do you Remember?

Old 04-06-2012, 03:10 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I would like to add that I know you have tremendous stress w/ your son. I can't even begin to imagine the stress you feel. It's a mothers worst nightmare.
Yet I know I am much better able to handle my problems sober. Drinking only compounds them.
I felt I deserved an escape from my emotional trauma I endured as a child but running away doesn't make them go away.

Facing our problems head on, sober is a much better way to deal.
You & your son deserve you to be fully present.
Much love to you both
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Old 04-06-2012, 03:44 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Going to AA meetings helps me remember.

I was sober for over 5 years before I relapsed. I thought after such a long time that I didn't have a problem and that I could drink like a normal person. That didn't work.

Now I attend AA meetings and guard against becoming complacent again.
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Old 04-06-2012, 04:36 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I couldn't remember with sufficient force. Through the program of AA I got hooked up with a Force that takes care of it whether I remember or not.
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Old 04-06-2012, 04:50 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I'm going to write it all down (some of it I have). As I just found a post on another board from 2 and a half years ago that involved me drinking an old bottle of sherry.

And if someone had said to me today "Would you drink old sherry after you've finished your favourite tipple?"

I would have laughed and said "no way". I'd genuinely blanked it out. I'm going to start that journal again (and keep posting on my other board and here.. and AA meetings.. and my friend who supports me... I'm fighting back this time).
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Old 04-06-2012, 09:14 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by GirlFromCO View Post
I have the opposite problem - I can't forget. I have flashbacks and I re-play incidents over and over every day. I'd love to be able to forget, lol!
That's my problem (or is it a safeguard?) too! So many memories, so many regrets, so many bumps in the road, so many near disasters. It's like living on the other side of a nightmare. But I guess in the early years of recovery, there was something inside of me that wanted to cover it all up, minimize the situation, say "well maybe I just had a little too much to drink. If I go easy I can handle it." Some of the folks say, "Hey! Listen to that voice and ask where it's coming from and what it wants. Chances are it's coming from a very primitive part of the brain that wants to drag you back into addiction, that wants what ever sobriety has taken away. So it says, "You deserve just one! You can quit after that!" And the whole thing is a lie, and if you fall for it you may hear that thing chuckling in the background since you've been set up once more as a sucker. One night I woke up and I swear I saw that thing sitting in the corner laughing at me. And I panicked when I saw that it knew me all too well and was out to get my very soul. I have never felt such fear and shall never forget whatever it was.
So if the memories keep you sober, that's better than the other. Anything's better than slipping back into the nightmare...

W.
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:13 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I don't have to remember, Eliasson. I can see my reflection in posts here on SR.

The newcomers who arrive, scared and desperate, are my ghosts of Easter past.

The regulars who have reached some point of stability and contentment, they're my ghosts of Easter present.

And the poor soul who you might have seen yesterday, announcing he was off to drink himself all the way to his grave, that's my ghost of Easter future if I don't honor this chance I've been given.
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Old 04-07-2012, 04:58 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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I don't think I'll ever forget the devastation that active alcoholism brought to my life.. but like a few here have already said.. it's not about that. That isn't what keeps me sober..loving being sober is enough.
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Old 04-07-2012, 05:11 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I get reminded when I do let myself think of alcohol, the thought that comes up is not that I would like 1 drink, I would like 3 bottles. That reminds me very very well that I have a serious problem and the only way to get better is to not drink at all and stay in the program.
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Old 04-07-2012, 06:32 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Thank you for all the responses and great suggestions. I just love this place. You all are literally saving my life. Thank you.
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Old 04-07-2012, 08:04 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by GrowingDaily View Post
I developed my own method for this, which worked 100% when I quit smoking. And so far, it seems to be working for booze.

I force myself to sit down - daily - and study the catastrophic effects of alcohol. I'll look at pictures of people dying of liver disease. I'll read stories here of the harm done to families & friends. I'll go over my own list of people I've hurt and the damage I've caused.

But most importantly, while I'm doing this, I allow (and encourage, even force) myself to feel anger. To feel hate. To despise alcohol. To see it as the poison it is. I also will force myself to do the same - feel the same anger & hate - anytime the thought pops into my head suggesting that booze is pleasurable in any way. The act of binding strong negative emotion to the imagery is of paramount importance.

Alcohol and drugs - in a very literal sense - reprogram our brains. This 'reprogramming' (excuse the oversimplification) associates pleasure with consumption. The tool I described above simply counteracts this programming. This isn't something you can half-ass though. The programming you're combating has been reinforced & strengthened over the course of your drinking career. To actually win the war, that means you have to spend just as much, or more, time and focused mental energy teaching yourself to hate it.

Dunno if it will work for you, but I think anyone willing to give it an honest go will see results. For the first time in my life, I can say, without a shred of doubt, that I won't ever smoke again in my life. The thought of smoking literally turns my stomach. I'd rather eat a cockroach. I'm not quite there yet w/ alcohol, but I'm making progress every day. I can feel the disgust rising, and it feels great !!!
this method works for me. It's similar to what I read in Allen Carr's books. My problem is that I didn't stick with it. I like your approach of doing it EVERY day. That's what I need to do so I don't get complacent again. Another post above states this fact exactly - we have to practice changing our thoughts. For me, I have to understand that practice is continuous.
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Old 04-07-2012, 08:05 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Duplicate Post

this method works for me. It's similar to what I read in Allen Carr's books. My problem is that I didn't stick with it. I like your approach of doing it EVERY day. That's what I need to do so I don't get complacent again. Another post above states this fact exactly - we have to practice changing our thoughts. For me, I have to understand that practice is continuous.

Last edited by harleyq; 04-07-2012 at 08:08 AM. Reason: Duplicate Post
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