Sober Coach
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
Sober Coach
Has anyone used or considered using a sober coach? I've heard more and more about that concept lately and I was wondering if anyone had personal experience to share.
I know it's very expensive so I'm wondering how far reaching it can really go?
I know it's very expensive so I'm wondering how far reaching it can really go?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Save your money and buy yourself something nice every day you stay sober.
You are the only one who can get sober and stay sober.
Pay for detox if you need it. Don't pay anyone to keep you sober.
If you mean like Charlie Sheen had, maybe give a sober friend the money to stay with you 24/7. At least you won't be giving it to some clown who actually believes they have that power.
You can do this.
Try AA and hang with like minded newcomers who want to stay sober. It's free.
A sponsor won't babysit you 24/7, but they too are free.
I believe you can get and stay sober. Look at the different sobriety support systems here on SR. See if something suits.
Anne
You are the only one who can get sober and stay sober.
Pay for detox if you need it. Don't pay anyone to keep you sober.
If you mean like Charlie Sheen had, maybe give a sober friend the money to stay with you 24/7. At least you won't be giving it to some clown who actually believes they have that power.
You can do this.
Try AA and hang with like minded newcomers who want to stay sober. It's free.
A sponsor won't babysit you 24/7, but they too are free.
I believe you can get and stay sober. Look at the different sobriety support systems here on SR. See if something suits.
Anne
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,889
Originally Posted by Hollyanne 
Save your money and buy yourself something nice every day you stay sober.
You are the only one who can get sober and stay sober.
You are the only one who can get sober and stay sober.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
I have heard of that but I don't honestly understand the thinking behind it... You can't have this sober coach follow you around for the rest of your life. At some point you have to be responsible for your own sobriety, and I just have a feeling that whenever that sober coach goes away I'd be liable to go back to my own routine.
I think for people that are concerned that they will not be able to get a good start on their sobriety because of the difficulty of those first couple of weeks I would suggest checking into rehab. I had a really hard time making it to the 30 day mark, so I went to rehab for thirty days. Sure, I could have left at any time, but my commitment to sobriety was strong enough because of deciding to go to rehab that I wasn't about to leave after all the effort it took to get there.
I think for people that are concerned that they will not be able to get a good start on their sobriety because of the difficulty of those first couple of weeks I would suggest checking into rehab. I had a really hard time making it to the 30 day mark, so I went to rehab for thirty days. Sure, I could have left at any time, but my commitment to sobriety was strong enough because of deciding to go to rehab that I wasn't about to leave after all the effort it took to get there.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
Sorry, I should have mentioned first; I'm not looking for a sober coach myself. I'm asking because I've read about the concept and I do a lot of research on recovery options. I've talked to a couple of newcomers who have used this method and was wondering about other people and their experience. I welcome opinion but was hoping for some experience behind the opinion.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
Originally Posted by Sapling
Mine is free....I call him my sponsor....He is pretty far reaching.
I was asking more from a "professional" help stand point. I'm simply interested to know if anyone went that route before or after treatment, used it with IOP services, instead of using a counselor, etc. I'm not doing official research but I often read about advances in help for people like us and find the concept... interesting.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I have no direct experience other than this...... I doubt you could find someone slick enough, persistent enough, and watchful enough to keep ME sober back when I was drinking. So really, it boils down to the person who's trying to get sober (or trying to LOOK like they're trying). If one really wants it and is willing to work for it (which almost allllllways entails doing a fair amount of stuff they don't want to do), they're gonna get and stay sober. If they don't really want to but figure they can buy their way into it by hiring a full-time babysitter......it'll work so long as the person trying to quit is trying to quit. Once that decision flip-flops......any alkie/drug abuser worth their salt can get around a frickin' TEAM of coaches.
......I had a breathalizer IN my house, a tv camera IN my house, got random hourly phone calls from probation as part of my house-arrest sentence where I'd have to turn the camera on and blow 0's into the breathalizer while they watched......and couldn't leave my house.
.......I found a way to drink almost every day during those 2 months.
......I had a breathalizer IN my house, a tv camera IN my house, got random hourly phone calls from probation as part of my house-arrest sentence where I'd have to turn the camera on and blow 0's into the breathalizer while they watched......and couldn't leave my house.
.......I found a way to drink almost every day during those 2 months.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
Originally Posted by eJoshua
I have heard of that but I don't honestly understand the thinking behind it... You can't have this sober coach follow you around for the rest of your life. At some point you have to be responsible for your own sobriety, and I just have a feeling that whenever that sober coach goes away I'd be liable to go back to my own routine.
I think for people that are concerned that they will not be able to get a good start on their sobriety because of the difficulty of those first couple of weeks I would suggest checking into rehab. I had a really hard time making it to the 30 day mark, so I went to rehab for thirty days. Sure, I could have left at any time, but my commitment to sobriety was strong enough because of deciding to go to rehab that I wasn't about to leave after all the effort it took to get there.
I think for people that are concerned that they will not be able to get a good start on their sobriety because of the difficulty of those first couple of weeks I would suggest checking into rehab. I had a really hard time making it to the 30 day mark, so I went to rehab for thirty days. Sure, I could have left at any time, but my commitment to sobriety was strong enough because of deciding to go to rehab that I wasn't about to leave after all the effort it took to get there.
Yes, I agree about rehab, it worked well for me. What I'm hearing most about is people using a sober coach after rehab. For example, a woman in my continuing care group had someone come over from 6-9 every night because that's her biggest trigger time. We all suggested using friends and family instead but, she didn't have reliable help. AND the coach was someone with experience in recovery.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Sounds like a paid accountability partner, then. I don't think I'm necessarily opposed to the idea, but I do think it strange when it would make sense to use friends and family, as you suggested, or else a sponsor. I think I'd save the money if I felt like I needed that level of support.
FWIW, I did take some desperate measures to ensure my sobriety, one of them being moving back into my parent's house because I know that I won't drink around them. They have free reign to go through my stuff here any time they want and they know it. I've got nothing to hide, and knowing that they are here gives me that extra accountability to staying sober.
FWIW, I did take some desperate measures to ensure my sobriety, one of them being moving back into my parent's house because I know that I won't drink around them. They have free reign to go through my stuff here any time they want and they know it. I've got nothing to hide, and knowing that they are here gives me that extra accountability to staying sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by silly
Thanks, Sapling. I know where you're coming from!
I was asking more from a "professional" help stand point. I'm simply interested to know if anyone went that route before or after treatment, used it with IOP services, instead of using a counselor, etc. I'm not doing official research but I often read about advances in help for people like us and find the concept... interesting.
I was asking more from a "professional" help stand point. I'm simply interested to know if anyone went that route before or after treatment, used it with IOP services, instead of using a counselor, etc. I'm not doing official research but I often read about advances in help for people like us and find the concept... interesting.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
I have a pretty famous musician friend who had a sober coach. I met this "coach" with my friend at a CD release party. Had a fairly stern and long conversation with him also, basically because I honestly thought he was just another parasite trying to suck money from my amigo at a vulnerable time. Found out that this sober "buddy" came as after-care from a certain uber expensive rehab in So-Cal.
From what I could gather (mind you this was almost 9 years ago now) the sober "buddy" and "coach" premise stems a lot from certain people's job requirements, in that some recovering addicts need to be in toxic situations almost all the time regardless of their addiction(s). Namely musicians, actors, club owners, promoters, and the like. In such cases, having someone there with you to walk you through those toxic - yet crucial work related events can be invaluable.
I am one who can attest to the fact that if a person lives a life where staying gainfully employed means braving the booze filled, drug infested entertainment parties, a sober coach/buddy is without a doubt the smart play. Those folks know exactly how to distract you and yank you away from a potentially ominous scenario in a heartbeat, having been trained for that sort of environment. As for my amigo, he swore by the effectiveness of that "coach", and he's still sober almost a decade later. I'd add that I saw both of them many more times after that at various parties and after show events. Funny how I was mostly off my face loaded, but every time I ran into them my mate was stone sober.
Having said that, if you're just a regular Joe and your work requirements don't include hanging out with the surviving members of The Sex Pistols? Meh, it's really quite unnecessary, and I'd even suggest it promotes a negative dependency and weakness in someone who is uniquely fragile, someone who should perhaps be more interested in learning how to stay sober without anybody being paid to stand between them and their DOC.
Long story short, I think Sapling hits it on the head really. Rich people get sober coaches, normal folks get sponsors.
From what I could gather (mind you this was almost 9 years ago now) the sober "buddy" and "coach" premise stems a lot from certain people's job requirements, in that some recovering addicts need to be in toxic situations almost all the time regardless of their addiction(s). Namely musicians, actors, club owners, promoters, and the like. In such cases, having someone there with you to walk you through those toxic - yet crucial work related events can be invaluable.
I am one who can attest to the fact that if a person lives a life where staying gainfully employed means braving the booze filled, drug infested entertainment parties, a sober coach/buddy is without a doubt the smart play. Those folks know exactly how to distract you and yank you away from a potentially ominous scenario in a heartbeat, having been trained for that sort of environment. As for my amigo, he swore by the effectiveness of that "coach", and he's still sober almost a decade later. I'd add that I saw both of them many more times after that at various parties and after show events. Funny how I was mostly off my face loaded, but every time I ran into them my mate was stone sober.
Having said that, if you're just a regular Joe and your work requirements don't include hanging out with the surviving members of The Sex Pistols? Meh, it's really quite unnecessary, and I'd even suggest it promotes a negative dependency and weakness in someone who is uniquely fragile, someone who should perhaps be more interested in learning how to stay sober without anybody being paid to stand between them and their DOC.
Long story short, I think Sapling hits it on the head really. Rich people get sober coaches, normal folks get sponsors.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Like Sapling, I have a sponsor, but before I had a sponsor, I met people in the rooms of AA--some hung out at various times, others hung with me at coffee shops at those times, most were on the phone with me in early recovery either talking or texting.
I'm still sober. Some of them chose not to stay stopped and won't return today's calls or texts. They really helped me out! They've helped me get groceries (I don't have a vehicle), and today, the ones who are still sober will go out of their way to help me, as I will also help them in whatever way possible, too! Just had a call to help someone out for their motorcycle battery replacement (I have phone internet and got them a number while I was out picking up my shoe rack....). It's awesome how people in sobriety make time for others~!
I kinda like talking with other people in sobriety and helping each other out instead of having a sober coach, but whatever works, go for it!
I'm still sober. Some of them chose not to stay stopped and won't return today's calls or texts. They really helped me out! They've helped me get groceries (I don't have a vehicle), and today, the ones who are still sober will go out of their way to help me, as I will also help them in whatever way possible, too! Just had a call to help someone out for their motorcycle battery replacement (I have phone internet and got them a number while I was out picking up my shoe rack....). It's awesome how people in sobriety make time for others~!
I kinda like talking with other people in sobriety and helping each other out instead of having a sober coach, but whatever works, go for it!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
We have a famous musician who attends meetings near me as his parents live here (when he is in town). He never used a sober coach, but he does use a sponsor and other people. Talk about being humble....he is an awesome example of humbleness!
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: TN
Posts: 162
I do have some limited experience with this. The person that I employed referred to himself as a "recovery coach". He had all of the licenses, experience, training, long-term sobriety, had written books, etc. He specifically centered our time together on relapse prevention and used information from Gorsky quite often.
I was working in the legal field and had gotten into some legal trouble (they frown on that) with relapse and DUI. The state's Lawyer Assistance Program director made a requirement to my contract that I see this man at least twice per month. I didn't want to... but it turned out ok. I kinda started to look forward to the meetings, although it did not keep me sober. It could have helped had I wanted to stay sober, but at that point I wasn't done drinking. I had never had a sponsor (that I used) at that point in time. I now realize that I didn't use the "recovery coach" as a sponsor either, but I did use him as a therapist and vented to him on several occassions.
Long story short, I think that I benefited from it. The guy wasn't a personal 24/7 bodyguard to keep me from drinking. He was intended (by those requiring my participation) to be an additional tool to use in maintaining sobriety and I think that today, as I want to remain sober, that it would be helpful. Some things I don't feel comfortable speaking about in meetings, somethings I don't even want to talk about to my sponsor sometimes, but I found that when I was paying this professional to listen to me that I had no qualms about talking. He had me do work...out of workbooks, etc. I felt a responsibility to be prepared when we met. We didn't just discuss drinking, etc, but the things in my life that could be stressers, triggers, etc. The guy was reasonably affordable, as well.
I was working in the legal field and had gotten into some legal trouble (they frown on that) with relapse and DUI. The state's Lawyer Assistance Program director made a requirement to my contract that I see this man at least twice per month. I didn't want to... but it turned out ok. I kinda started to look forward to the meetings, although it did not keep me sober. It could have helped had I wanted to stay sober, but at that point I wasn't done drinking. I had never had a sponsor (that I used) at that point in time. I now realize that I didn't use the "recovery coach" as a sponsor either, but I did use him as a therapist and vented to him on several occassions.
Long story short, I think that I benefited from it. The guy wasn't a personal 24/7 bodyguard to keep me from drinking. He was intended (by those requiring my participation) to be an additional tool to use in maintaining sobriety and I think that today, as I want to remain sober, that it would be helpful. Some things I don't feel comfortable speaking about in meetings, somethings I don't even want to talk about to my sponsor sometimes, but I found that when I was paying this professional to listen to me that I had no qualms about talking. He had me do work...out of workbooks, etc. I felt a responsibility to be prepared when we met. We didn't just discuss drinking, etc, but the things in my life that could be stressers, triggers, etc. The guy was reasonably affordable, as well.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Lawyers often have separate meetings, at least in Washington, DC they do. Others attend the "regular" meetings and have no problems with them. Using the tools and working the steps bring about great changes in people.
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