I stagnated half my life...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Well done on 69 days FD! And thanks for this post. I'm 30 too and you've just reminded me to look forward to all the stuff I'll get to do cos I'm functioning again. I figure I've been drunk half of my life but if I live until I'm 60 I still get half of my life sober 
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Drunko.....
TOTALLY different past for me..... graduated, went to college, rocked pretty good grades......etc.
HOWEVER.....lol.....I can toooooooooooooooooootally identify with the feelings even though I got em coming from the opposite direction. Feeling I'm stupid, should be doing better, far too lazy, want to blame booze/alcoholism but I know that's just a crutch or an easy fall-guy, etc. My early sobriety........for a LOOOONG time.......was totally dominated by feelings of unworthiness, I'm a pice of $hit, I deserve to suffer, I'm a f-up, I'm alone, I'm lonely, "they" don't reeeeally like me they just pretend to like me cuz they don't want to hurt my feelings.........etc. Then, crazy enough, the next day I'd realize that was kinda silly.....and really I'm not just an OK guy I'm a GREAT guy.....in fact, I'm really the most genuine best guy I've ever met! Two days later, right back to I'm a piece of crap.
AA and the steps worked wonders on that stuff. Reeeeeally helped me identify a lot of truth and bs.....and helped me deal with it in a healthy manner. Not sure if you're into AA or not or if you're even willing to try it......but it helped with WAY more than just my drinking problem. (pssst......most alkies had/have the same "thinking" problems and most of the older ones can show ya how to recover in that area too.... )
TOTALLY different past for me..... graduated, went to college, rocked pretty good grades......etc.
HOWEVER.....lol.....I can toooooooooooooooooootally identify with the feelings even though I got em coming from the opposite direction. Feeling I'm stupid, should be doing better, far too lazy, want to blame booze/alcoholism but I know that's just a crutch or an easy fall-guy, etc. My early sobriety........for a LOOOONG time.......was totally dominated by feelings of unworthiness, I'm a pice of $hit, I deserve to suffer, I'm a f-up, I'm alone, I'm lonely, "they" don't reeeeally like me they just pretend to like me cuz they don't want to hurt my feelings.........etc. Then, crazy enough, the next day I'd realize that was kinda silly.....and really I'm not just an OK guy I'm a GREAT guy.....in fact, I'm really the most genuine best guy I've ever met! Two days later, right back to I'm a piece of crap.
AA and the steps worked wonders on that stuff. Reeeeeally helped me identify a lot of truth and bs.....and helped me deal with it in a healthy manner. Not sure if you're into AA or not or if you're even willing to try it......but it helped with WAY more than just my drinking problem. (pssst......most alkies had/have the same "thinking" problems and most of the older ones can show ya how to recover in that area too.... )
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