day 5 and i'm mad as hell!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Chicago, Illinois
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day 5 and i'm mad as hell!
I've never been outwardly mad or angry. I think it's because my Dad, the alcoholic, was a volcano and so I have this terror of anger. I've always turned it inward and've done horrible things to myself I won't go into. Anyway, i'm only 5 days sober and am incredibly anxious, mad, frustrated, and uncoordinated. I can't navigate ordinary time and space. It's like I've been living in one of those surrealist paintings for so long that i can't walk from my apartment to my car without dropping keys several times, smashing my hand, letting my coffee dribble onto my shoes, crying over a parking ticket etc. Good God. What will 5 months be like?
similar experience for me....same deal with my dad too.....and same manifestations with anger for me... I know exactly what you mean.
Recovery has given me a great arena to delve into that stuff, with a sober mind, and with an open mind.
Going to meetings, telling every one "I'm hacked off" helped. I even got some decent tips that helped for a while. I'm an AA guy so, obviously......getting involved in the program and actually starting to work the steps was my path out of that madness. Things got a lot better so long as I stayed engaged in the recovery process.
Recovery has given me a great arena to delve into that stuff, with a sober mind, and with an open mind.
Going to meetings, telling every one "I'm hacked off" helped. I even got some decent tips that helped for a while. I'm an AA guy so, obviously......getting involved in the program and actually starting to work the steps was my path out of that madness. Things got a lot better so long as I stayed engaged in the recovery process.
My father died 10 yrs ago & even though I loved him very much I still have constant dreams of his critisism and trying to live up to his expectations. I just can't seem to let go of my Daddy issues, maybe we just have to learn to live with it.
I expect that five months will be much better than Day 5. You're still in the early days of recovery. There are healthy ways to vent your anger. You could try journalling your feelings and get it all down on paper, and exercise can also help a lot.
After the alcohol was out of my system, I spent a couple of weeks bouncing all over the place emotionally. All of my emotions were just raw; that's the only word I know to describe it -- I guess after living in a numb fog for so long, I didn't know what to do with "feelings". The fellowship of AA and the 12-Steps helped me when I was ready to deal with everything.
Just be easy with yourself and give yourself time to adjust to your new reality.
--Fenris.
Just be easy with yourself and give yourself time to adjust to your new reality.
--Fenris.
On day five it's pretty normal to feel the way you do. I remember feeling that way the first week or so, and I could barely have a conversation with someone without wanting to rip their heads off!
I'm at 6 months, and trust me when I say that it gets better. Not every day is full of rainbow unicorns, but it's MUCH much better.
I'm at 6 months, and trust me when I say that it gets better. Not every day is full of rainbow unicorns, but it's MUCH much better.
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