badderb

Im surrounded by drug addicts. Im not exaggerating all of my neighbors use drugs openly one guy smokes pot right on his front porch. If had people ask me if I had drugs and ask me if I wanted to buy drugs.

I have used drugs i haven't in about 2 years I just take my dr prescribed meds.

I cant say that I have been addicted to drugs but when I am at a stressful point in my life I just self destruct. Then I do whatever I can get my hands on til its gone.

The last time I did that was a few months ago and I drank far too much.

Ive been going to NA partly because people I love are addicted and partly because I feel the urge to just get something to take my stress away for awhile. I havent and probably wont but the urge to destruct is there and very strong.

When I am at NA meeting I wonder if I am supposed to be there. Because I dont think I am addicted to narcotics just addicted to self destructing or like its my unhealthy comping mechanism so I dont do worse.

Ive been in a mostly nonstop panic attack for about 5 days. Every time I fall asleep I wake right back up.

Ive been diagnosed with just about every mental illness but I dont think whats wrong with me has a name its just the result of a really bad childhood.

I question if I should be going to the meetings but when I am there I feel better. Its gets me through a few hours without panic.

Any thoughts?

Threshold

Hi, my drug using behaviors were very similar. I too have various diagnosis,etc.

NA helps...addict? I dont' know, I've gone round and round about it too, since I was never hooked on ONE drug, but rather on taking anything I could get my hands on in a mad desire to cease existing..or at least feeling.

NA is there for people who have drug abuse problems. We certainly qualify. If you relate and attending is helping you, keep on. It is likely your shares help others as well.

Welcome to SR, hope you hang around.

badderb

Thanks

Sapling

I think this more than qualifies you to attend NA meetings....If going to meetings makes you feel better and reduces your stress...I'd say keep coming back.....You mention alcohol....Do you have a problem with that too?

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

Have you spoken to anyone at the NA meetings?

Dee74

welcome badderb

I think I know what you mean - for years I wondered if I was that bad because the people around me seemed much worse....(then I got worse too and removed all doubt but thats another thread topic)

I think if you're exhibiting behaviour like this

you're certainly at least abusing substances and binging - neither of those things is good - and it must be a problem for you, and I think you, like all of us, have a responsibility to yourself to try and fix the problem

I'm not in NA so I can't really comment on whether you're in the right place or not, but I think there's certainly a lot of worse places you could be?

D

eJoshua

Whether or not you go back to NA you are certainly welcome here.

badderb

I have a problem binge drinking. But I just try not to drink at all in general and avoid it. Thanks for the replies