SOBERINNEPA

I passed on Christmas with my wife's family. I was at about 3 months and I didn't want to deal with the stress. When I thought about going there, I felt trapped and doom laden. When I thought about staying home, I felt peaceful and at ease. So home I stayed. I'm sure I made the right choice.

I don't think we're meant to "test" ourselves. Especially at 11 days. When I got comfortable in my sobriety, I was able to go out with friends who order drinks with dinner and, truthfully, I don't feel a twinge. I'm happy that they're comfortable enough around me, knowing my back story, to do so. But, there are still situations in which I'd hesitate to get involved.

If you have any feeling that you might be putting your sobriety at risk, stay home. Your family will understand, or they won't, and you'll still be sober.

regeneration

No, I haven't asked them. But there is not a chance... my younger brother gets moody around family without a drink, and if he's been drinking a lot the night before he's usually sweating, which means he'll want a drink.

So realism is definitely called for.

Will chill out on my own this weekend and go to meetings.

regeneration

Aw sorry to hear that about your brother. That is way too young.

Good for you on the 2 days of sobriety, I look forward to seeing you on here when I'm posting (I'm a member of another board, but not much mention of AA, I need to complement it with coming here too)

leenliz

you do that regeneration, don't put your sobriety at risk, especially at such an early stage, but it does sound like your brothers need help too. if they can't drop the drink to help you then the reality is, is that they have a drink problem too, difference is is that you are doing something about your problem, you've recognised you need help and your addressing it. well done regeneration, you should be really proud of yourself, I'm 1 year sober and have never looked back, and as you get further on in YOUR sobriety then you will start to see the benefits of staying sober (in control), good luck regeneration

Spawn

DayTrader

Thank God no, that's not the point (not in AA anyway). The point is for you to live in sobriety......no more drinking......and actually love and enjoy life. How cool would it be to not obsess about drinking, never have to worry about hangovers or the "cost" of getting loaded last night, AND.......AND be happy AT THE SAME TIME? To be able to navigate through ANYTHING that comes your way and not have to resort to getting loaded to "cope."

Early on.....probably makes sense to not be around too much drinking.... but the point is to get to a recoverED state.......where there IS no problem with alcohol anymore.......so that you can go and help ppl with a drinking problem and help them get what you've got.

One thing that was strong in my mind when I was new...... "ENOUGH ppl had made concessions for me already. I couldn't dreeeeeam of asking everyone, again, to live their lives differently because I needed to change mine." Me getting and staying sober is up to me.......no way I'm gonna lay it on someone else that they have to quit or not drink around me because I can't have that. Them drinking is up to them. If I can't handle it (and sometimes I couldn't......a wedding one time was a killer for me), it's up to ME TO GO.

Dee74

This was definitely my experience. I think it takes time to build a 'sobriety muscle' and I often made the mistake of 'testing' it too early on previous attempts.

I stayed away from situations I knew would tempt me, until I'd grown to the point I knew no situation would weaken my resolve and I was sure sober was what I wanted to be.

Took a few months for me, but I still consider a very wise investment - time well spent

D

jobei

I think you should avoid being around people that are drinking... ESPECIALLY family that you are used to drinking with. If they would agree to not drink while you're there I think that would be a much better plan. I've been struggling with this very same issue myself... so far I've just avoided being around my family while they are drinking. Perhaps this will change down the line but for now I gotta play it safe!

rydef

I know how you feel. I am 3 days sober, this time. My Dad is an alcoholic and when I mentioned I was going to AA he basically laughed and said it was a crock of ****. It is nearly impossible not to drink when I am around him. Don't know why, just is. It is hard to write off family. Sometimes it is necessary. Only if you are feeling confident that you can enjoy some time with them when you are sober and they are not is the only way around it. Sometimes you have to be an arrogant, elitist, smug *******. But that's only in their eyes.

eJoshua

IMO, there is a difference between separating yourself from potentially compromising situations and living in a bubble. Sometimes it's hard to define that line, but it's safe to say that you are always better to err on the side of avoiding those situations, especially early on.

There's nothing wrong with setting yourself up for success. While I don't think that we are supposed to run and hide every time alcohol is mentioned I do think that there are ways that we ought to safeguard ourselves from the temptation to drink.

Sounds to me like you are thinking it through, which is the right thing to do, so kudos to you.