It's getting really hard to go on.
 

I talked my sister out of coming to get me today.

The Doctor I taked to two years ago was aghast at my assesment. I was diagnosed with Korsakoff's from booze and a stress disorder from a terrable job.

I have not a friend, no GF thus no sex, no job and I'm halfway to being crazy and about a short step from the street.

I just got a Federal Tax bill for $2800, and that means I loose my house.
Allready borrowed as much as I can and this is it.

What have I done, well gone into a hopefully life ending drunk with sleeping pills.

My sister is dragging me to the psych tomorrow.

I'm not doing well, all I want to do is sleep, and drink.

I'm glad you're seeing someone space - it might just be the something different you need.

D

I'm so glad that your sister is helping you out.

Sending good thoughts your way.

I hope you will let your sister help you, it's good you have family. Good luck tomorrow.

Ditto from what Anna and Dee said. I also was in the ICU last year and was told I have wet brain. Fortunalty my thiamine levels came back. I am sorry you struggling ,hang in there.

Prayers comin your way.

Prayers sent your way

I can only help with prayer and hope that you can move on from this point and live free from the addiction. Best wishes & give it your all.

I hope I'm reading this wrong, but please get help now if you're having thoughts about doing something "life ending." Call your sister...... or at least wait until you talk to someone tomorrow.

We're here for support, spacestation.

space, are you going to go to AA ? It couldn't be worse than this .....

Prayers for you.

Bob R

SpaceStation.
Hang in there please. You have another chance here. You are exactly where you are supposed to be in life.
You have lost but there is a lot to gain!
I am in the same emotional boat.
But I haven't lost as much. But it's okay. You'll be ok.
Tall to your sissy (they're the best), do what u need.
Thinking of u.

Ps. Apologize if I sound "preachy" don't mean to.

I like to think I could
 

No I only took one sleeping pill. With 12 beers. I wonder what is going to kill me...Clearly me, and I have had so many close calls I keep pushing it to the limit. The Dr said it was involuntary suiside.

Call off a 30 yr drinking career is abvout as tough of a challenge as there can be, and when many attempts have failed, I worry then drink again, I don't want to be locked up again in rehab.

Does anyone think if I get out of this place which costs more than I now make (zero) that I may make some progress, Half of me sais it might. The other half is severely attached to my home which I preformed $75000 in upgrades.
What is a nice home without health,, nothing but the end
relult of a place 6 feet under, i'm fearing that a lot and have good reason too.

Your health and well-being are much more important than anything else. Take care and let your sister help you tomorrow.

Did you get put on medication? Was this diagnosis 2 months after giving up drinking?

If the damage is current, it can be reversed with thiamine and with a program for watching glucose, as prescribed by the doctor.

Stop drinking with a proper detox. Give up the sleeping pills with your doctor's help and start eating right and follow the doctor's orders. Yeah, you CAN change the way you are living, make money again, and enjoy all that life has to offer you. Things could be much worse than they are.

Praying for you,

"The road to sobriety is a simple journey for confused people with a complicated disease."

Trust me man. It ain't over and you don't want it to be. I came from the good ole hills of Tennessee to Florida the second time. Ahhhhhh. The recovery capital ofthe world. You can't throw a rock between West Palm and Miami and not hit someone in recovery. Tennessee has nothing but state certified centers which is fine but for that one little thing that is so annoying the waiting list. I was on probation at the time and I asked the ******* excuse me I mean the probation officer . I said " Excuse me. But can I leave the state to go to another treatment facility that says we can take you now instead of have to wait? He said NO!!! Can not and will not leave the state. So the next day i was sick and happily on my way to Florida. No money. All the clothes I had were in a backpack and I mean like a school backpack. Not one of those Rambo things where you roll it out and there's a pool and 3 hot naked chicks swimming around.Not for this boy. I had been to one of the best treatment centers in the world the year before meand I thought I was doing everything right and i relapsed after 3 months clean which was the longest time I had in 17 years. I got to the treatment center and they said NO. I had a temperature of a 104.5 on top of withdrawals. Well my friend drove me to the hospital and they let me stay for about 5 days i think. It helped get a little detoxedbut I had nowhere to go now. I had to call mom and God knows i didn't want to. I told her what happened she paid this ripoff artist 150 bucks for me to stay a week. And hopefully I could find a job. Well there are no jobs in Lake Worth Fl. They have a program set up for me though that said if i passed my drug test then I would get a free bus pass for a month.They'd get me on food stamps.And I'd get to stay at this wonderful halfway house for a month.Well my check in day was a long way off but they told me to keep callin and i'd get in early.Sure enough I got in the next day. The lady told me that I'd probably fail the drug test since i was in the hospital but it was ok because i had the paperwork. Well i tested positive for benzo's and this loving caring woman looked at me and said No We aint taking ya!!!!!! I threw a FN fit and it took 6 security guards to get me out of there.
Anyway I know it was a long and probably boring story but I wanted you to know there is always hope.When it seems the whole world has crumbled down upon you and you just can't get up again , you can. How we do it is our choice. You control all your emotions. Noone can make us mad.We have the choice to be happy no matter what's going on or where we are.But when we drink and carry on that valve gets shut off. Leave it open. I don't care how bad you think you got it but someone out there would change spots in a minute with ya. Just take it one step at a time. One foot in front of the other.I know it's hard man and I'm just trying to show you that there are good endings to some of these horror stories. I am one. I died once for 3 minutes and was brought back by two people that I didn't think could even spell CPR!. I've been in jail exactly 18 times. All misdemeanors. I was so goofed on xanax I stole a six dollar watch when I had a beautiful 125 dollar FSU Fossil watch on my hand.I've benn clean and sober now for 6 years . I have 3 world records and no I dont take steroids and yes thats my picture. I'm also on a liver transplant waiting list as well. They automatically throw you on there here in Florida right off the bat. I haven't even had a biopsy done yet. I have such a wonderful loving beautiful my best friend in the world Rory my labradoodle. lol. And a wife. No she is the greatest cause to put up with me for any amount of time means you automatically earn your wings into heaven. I just wanted you to see that there is a way out and you won't find it at the bottom of a bottle or a sleeping pill. You can do this. All i ever said my first month was I need to listen . Take suggestions. Maybe. But whatever I do the only thing I have to get right is not pick up that beer. And I know in my heart you can do it. I love ya like my own and Best Wishes!!

What am I going to do?
 

-no money
-Having to sell my home
moving
-no job
-no woman

Thats a big list but I am going to Live be 100, so i have to get my mind in a "do mode"

I want Money
I will get a beter home
I will start my own business
I will get a girlfriend

What are the options if I keep boozing?


Total BS from me, I havent had nothing but barley sandwiches all day. Docktors hate drunks, how can I handle the shrink tomorow

Now my keyboard is back to French pucctuatationÉ

Later

I hope you follow through, space - remember your sister will be there for support.

If you want your life to change, you need to be prepared to make changes - I know it's scary but lots of us are here to reassure you - life really is better sober :)

D

Come on space station. I want a boyfriend! I want a house and my own business or even just a job with health benefits! PLease hang in there, this too shall pass. When we start working on ourselves weird and great things will happen, please give yourself a chance. I know you want to fight this or else you wouldn't be posting. We love you and understand!

bskeys - that was well worth the read. So many great points you covered.

Space - I hope you can keep those words in mind. No matter how bad you think you have it, you don't have to look very far to find someone who has it worse. What feels like the end can be a beautiful beginning. It's all a matter of perspective.

Keep your chin up.

Midnight run didnt happen
 

I was within reach of the 2 AM liquor store but did not go in as usual.

I got smokes at the gas station and went home. 1 1 and one half brews still kicken but I guess this is it.

This is the last of 24. And I mean the last. In twelve hours I will be be very ill.

It is then that I may really need the help of this forum.

Hello Whithdrawl.