chiyo

I haven't told hubby's family about my drinking problem because I have, on several occasions overheard them making very rude comments about my parents who were also alcoholics. I am afraid of what they will say about me and possibly that they will exclude me from future family functions and I can't do that to my children or husband who would refuse to attend if I wasn't welcome.

So Easter is coming up and his family is very big on family get togethers during holidays. The problem is that there will without a doubt be a ton of booze. I have tried getting out of going but it didn't work. Do I tell them why I don't drink and suffer the consequences? Do I just go and come up with a million excuses as to why I can't drink? I really don't feel comfortable going but hubby is pressuring me a bit because he doesn't think that I should miss out on family and fun just because I can't drink. Do I just put my foot down and tell hubby that I am not going? If I go there is a chance that i will drink and there is a chance that I won't. I really really really don't want to risk it no matter what the outcome would have been, yet it breaks my heart to not spend the day with my family. I feel like I'm starting to panic. This is all too stressful.

IndaMiricale

I stayed home for a couple holiday's just to avoid myself and pressure. But now adays if I carry a drink no one bothers me. Also you always can just use your on a medicine that will not let you drink.

Whatever route you choose just make sure its the sober one.

Sapling

If it was me chiyo...I think I'd have to tell my spouse that my sobriety is the most important thing in my life right now....And I'm not ready to risk it this week....Go and have fun...Tell them I have a bit of the bug and am looking forward to the next get together.....Include a nice card wishing them a nice Easter and catch a meeting or two...Do some step work...And don't stress.

chiyo

Never thought of using the excuse about medication. This stress is going to do me in. I'm sure I'm over exaggerating but enough is enough. I may need to move to another city away from family and friends just so I don't end up doing something stupid. Heck I'm already half way there!

I hate that one bad day, or one argument, or someone disagreeing with me can mess up a whole good week because I can't drink. I'm done, going out for some fresh air.

Sapling

You're going to have to get used to that chiyo....Because that's called life. You're going to need some tools to help you....I found mine working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous....I'd recommend you find something.

Dee74

I'm a big believer in not biting off more than you can chew before you've grown the teeth to handle the job Chiyo.

I'm sorry your husband is pressuring you to go. Is it a done deal?
D

chiyo

Nope, not final yet.

Anna

You can learn new and healthy ways to deal with all the stresses and stuff that comes along in life.

Personally, I used the 'medication' excuse once in early recovery and I felt terrible. My self-esteem was already low and lying to friends just made me feel worse. So, I chose to stay away for awhile.

Whatever you choose to do, know that you can deal with this.

Hopeless71

Do what's right for you, i'm sure you have spent a lot of your days worrying about either what other people think, or how they take you. They cannot possibly know what's its like to be in your skin. So live for you, you deserve it, and all will be good, one way or another. good luck!

Holly7

Just tell his family that alcohol has been making you feel like crap and you are staying away from it for a while. That's what I have been telling all of my friends and family. Good luck!

Amy2011

I found early recovery hard, and being around people drinking made it even harder. I had to curtail my social life in early recovery. I decided to put my sobriety above everyone else's needs and wants. My husband and kids understood. We turned down many invitations for a long time. I decide I would rather be sober at home than out drinking with friends or feeling uncomfortable. Recovery was a family affair in my house as we had all been affected by my drinking. I choose not to tell my husband's family I was in recovery because he didn't want me to and I didn't care if they knew one way or another. I told most of my family as they live in the same area as us and had witnessed the chaos I had created. I think who you chose to tell is your business. Don't rush things in early recovery. As you become more comfortable in your sober life things will become clearer. I would stay home on Easter rather then go be uncomfortable all day. I never lied about why I wasn't drinking. Most people never pushed when I said no thanks. Good luck. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

2granddaughters

chiyo, is your husband fully on board with your sobriety?
I would tell his family that you have developed an allergy to alcohol and you are not drinking today.
I love going to family functions and watching the goings on sober, I can enjoy the good things and ignore/evade the bad things.
Don't be stressed too much, it will all work out good and you'll be sober and stronger.

All the best.
Bob