How did you know it was time to stop drinking?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
How did you know it was time to stop drinking?
Hi guys,
The above was just another thought that I had and I thought that it would be interesting to hear other peoples thoughts on it,
With me, where I am struggling is deep inside the beer monster in me doesn't think that it is time to stop yet. I have stopped and I had a great weekend away with the wife and kids and it is now the school easter holidays here and I'm looking forward to hopefully taking a week off next week and heading back to our caravan,
What I was wondering is do people really have to hit rock bottom to stop drinking? I know that my wife was concerned about how much I was drinking and she is very supportive of my efforts to stay booze free but because I haven't seriously been cause bad problems by the alcohol apart from my own guilt I feel that there's always that chance that I could fall from the wagon again.
Sorry for waffling on,
And thanks for listening,
You guys on this site have really made a difference to my life and health,
Bruno.
The above was just another thought that I had and I thought that it would be interesting to hear other peoples thoughts on it,
With me, where I am struggling is deep inside the beer monster in me doesn't think that it is time to stop yet. I have stopped and I had a great weekend away with the wife and kids and it is now the school easter holidays here and I'm looking forward to hopefully taking a week off next week and heading back to our caravan,
What I was wondering is do people really have to hit rock bottom to stop drinking? I know that my wife was concerned about how much I was drinking and she is very supportive of my efforts to stay booze free but because I haven't seriously been cause bad problems by the alcohol apart from my own guilt I feel that there's always that chance that I could fall from the wagon again.
Sorry for waffling on,
And thanks for listening,
You guys on this site have really made a difference to my life and health,
Bruno.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Honestly for me Bruno...When my wife was gone....My house was gone...And I not only lost my job...I wasn't capable of getting a job...I couldn't take it any more....Do you have to hit rock bottom?....I hope not.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Bruno1979 
What I was wondering is do people really have to hit rock bottom to stop drinking?
Be thankful you are questioning your drinking and are trying to stop. Don't try to push back the expiration date until you bottom out. It might be too late.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bridgeton
Posts: 718
Why wait to test the deep cold bottom waters? I kept on drinking when the signs were all pointing to disaster...BUT NOOOOO.....so after rehab & jail....I decided to stop...jails, institutions...did not want to try death.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I stopped drinking when I was at an emotional bottom. I had a job, a place to live, a relationship, and a little bit of money. Sure I had lost some of that stuff in the past but I had managed to gain it back. I was about one more step away from loosing that stuff I did have and I hated myself. When I looked into the mirror I got throw-up in my throat. I couldn't live like that any more.
My mother on the other hand didn't stop until she was nearly dead. She ended up in ICU for a week (not the first time) and then in her early 50s, unable to walk or feed herself, she ended up in an assisted living facility. She's been sober now for about 8 years and did regain lot of those abilities she had lost, she still had lots of problems from the damage she did to her body.
Take your pick.
My mother on the other hand didn't stop until she was nearly dead. She ended up in ICU for a week (not the first time) and then in her early 50s, unable to walk or feed herself, she ended up in an assisted living facility. She's been sober now for about 8 years and did regain lot of those abilities she had lost, she still had lots of problems from the damage she did to her body.
Take your pick.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Near Scranton PA
Posts: 424
My bottom was when I was afraid to be alone with my own thoughts anymore. I got to a place wher I couldn't trust myself and I'd wake up every morning so disappointed to still be alive.
I didn't lose my house, my job or, thank you God, my wife. I got all the support I needed and way more than I deserved.
I was at the point where I was drinking to manage my withdrawal symptoms. I never want to be in that state again.
I didn't lose my house, my job or, thank you God, my wife. I got all the support I needed and way more than I deserved.
I was at the point where I was drinking to manage my withdrawal symptoms. I never want to be in that state again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Honey, you've been posting really penetrating and insightful questions for a while now, and have collected a lot of evidence. So what's the deal? Is it convincing you that you are an alcoholic and need to commit, or that you're different to the rest of us and don't really need to worry? Is it the long-term thing that's bothering you?
Or how about, when would be the time to stop? I mean, your words were, "the beer monster in me doesn't think that it is time to stop yet"...
Two things: beer monster and yet. If it's a monster, you gotta quit. Normal, healthy people don't think that way. And yet? You know you're going to have to. Don't wait until your wife hates you, and the kids, and you've lost the caravan, and can't tell it's the holidays. Don't be the guy who knew early on he had a choice, and made that choice.
Shout out to Birmingham from up there, will you? It can't hear me from down here...
xxx
Or how about, when would be the time to stop? I mean, your words were, "the beer monster in me doesn't think that it is time to stop yet"...
Two things: beer monster and yet. If it's a monster, you gotta quit. Normal, healthy people don't think that way. And yet? You know you're going to have to. Don't wait until your wife hates you, and the kids, and you've lost the caravan, and can't tell it's the holidays. Don't be the guy who knew early on he had a choice, and made that choice.
Shout out to Birmingham from up there, will you? It can't hear me from down here...
xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
I drank much longer than was reasonable or indicated. You're assuming that when something awful happens then you'll realize it's time to stop and simply put a halt to this. Not so.
Picture anything as bad as you can imagine. When that or something worse happens people drink right past it. The awfulness we sometimes wait for and believe will be an answer and stop us commonly turns into a reason to drink after it takes place. Events come and go, the drinking stays.
It cannot get bad enough, there is no bottom awful enough that will change this, beyond being temporarily sober. Another drink will eventually look like the right and good thing to do.
If you're waiting for a reason to stop that meets some standard in your mind you're kidding yourself that it will make the least difference when it happens or when something far worse than you can now imagine happens.
On the other hand, if you access a solution that removes the problem it doesn't then matter at all what did or didn't happen in your drinking. Or in your sobriety.
Don't be fooled to think that people who stay stopped necessarily have had anything worse than you've experienced happen to them, or that those who have no answer of value and return to drink need a horrible event to convince them to stop. Both are fallacies.
Picture anything as bad as you can imagine. When that or something worse happens people drink right past it. The awfulness we sometimes wait for and believe will be an answer and stop us commonly turns into a reason to drink after it takes place. Events come and go, the drinking stays.
It cannot get bad enough, there is no bottom awful enough that will change this, beyond being temporarily sober. Another drink will eventually look like the right and good thing to do.
If you're waiting for a reason to stop that meets some standard in your mind you're kidding yourself that it will make the least difference when it happens or when something far worse than you can now imagine happens.
On the other hand, if you access a solution that removes the problem it doesn't then matter at all what did or didn't happen in your drinking. Or in your sobriety.
Don't be fooled to think that people who stay stopped necessarily have had anything worse than you've experienced happen to them, or that those who have no answer of value and return to drink need a horrible event to convince them to stop. Both are fallacies.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Originally Posted by stillsleeping
Honey, you've been posting really penetrating and insightful questions for a while now, and have collected a lot of evidence. So what's the deal? Is it convincing you that you are an alcoholic and need to commit, or that you're different to the rest of us and don't really need to worry? Is it the long-term thing that's bothering you?
Or how about, when would be the time to stop? I mean, your words were, "the beer monster in me doesn't think that it is time to stop yet"...
Two things: beer monster and yet. If it's a monster, you gotta quit. Normal, healthy people don't think that way. And yet? You know you're going to have to. Don't wait until your wife hates you, and the kids, and you've lost the caravan, and can't tell it's the holidays. Don't be the guy who knew early on he had a choice, and made that choice.
Shout out to Birmingham from up there, will you? It can't hear me from down here...
xxx
Or how about, when would be the time to stop? I mean, your words were, "the beer monster in me doesn't think that it is time to stop yet"...
Two things: beer monster and yet. If it's a monster, you gotta quit. Normal, healthy people don't think that way. And yet? You know you're going to have to. Don't wait until your wife hates you, and the kids, and you've lost the caravan, and can't tell it's the holidays. Don't be the guy who knew early on he had a choice, and made that choice.
Shout out to Birmingham from up there, will you? It can't hear me from down here...
xxx
You are right,
I think the reason why the vast majority of us come on here asking questions is to get answers like the one that you have given,
Thanks you to all of you,
Bruno.
Ps,
Are you from birmingham still sleeping? I was down there working today. :-)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Originally Posted by Bruno1979
I think the reason why the vast majority of us come on here asking questions is to get answers like the one that you have given,
Ps,
Are you from birmingham still sleeping? I was down there working today. :-)
And yes! and it gives me warm an fuzzies to know it's nestled up there doing fine without me
BillyPilgrim said hello to it from the train earlier on his way past heh heh. Really glad to know you xxx
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Originally Posted by Bruno1979
What I was wondering is do people really have to hit rock bottom to stop drinking?
I don't consider where I was/am to be rock bottom at all. I can get far lower if I wanted to or let myself. I still have a good job, I got plenty of money (by my standards) I don't have a family or girlfriend but that is not the alcohols fault. I still have my health, and a few friends/reletives that care about me. Only a few because I am picky with my friends and move cities way more often than most. I think I have a lot lower I could go.
How did I know it was time to stop? Short answer again, when I found out I couldn't just quit whenever I wanted.
When it started seriously impacting my job in a negative way (like it can in a positive way right? (sarcasm)) That is when I thought well you know what if it is causing problems them maybe you oughta take a break.... that lead to failiure, after failure. That is when I thought well you've gone and done it now, you are an alcoholic after all. I came here and started reading, asking questions, geting advice, explaining/expanding my viewpoints, and trying to help others through thier troubles helping myself in the process. It still took a while, but I am glad that I made the decision when I did at 29, especially after coming here for a while and reading how bad it usually gets before people decide to give it up. Now that I look back on it I was an alcoholic years ago I had just fooled myself into thinking that I wasn't that bad because I didn't have a family and did well at work, so no problem. It is when it caused problems that I finaly admited it to myself and started working on it.
Now a question for you. When are you going to know that it is time?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 282
I knew I needed to stop when I could drink 2 bottles of wine at night quite easily without a hangover and when I felt I could use a drink and would look at the clock and it was 10am! I new even more that I needed to stop when I actually tried but then couldn't! Wtf, this was controlling me now!
I never lost anything, remained functional etc etc. 8 weeks sober now, phew!
Why would u want to hit rock bottom. Just being out of control with my drinking was enough to make me hate it!
I never lost anything, remained functional etc etc. 8 weeks sober now, phew!
Why would u want to hit rock bottom. Just being out of control with my drinking was enough to make me hate it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Originally Posted by InsertNameHere
Short answer, NO.
I don't consider where I was/am to be rock bottom at all. I can get far lower if I wanted to or let myself. I still have a good job, I got plenty of money (by my standards) I don't have a family or girlfriend but that is not the alcohols fault. I still have my health, and a few friends/reletives that care about me. Only a few because I am picky with my friends and move cities way more often than most. I think I have a lot lower I could go.
How did I know it was time to stop? Short answer again, when I found out I couldn't just quit whenever I wanted.
When it started seriously impacting my job in a negative way (like it can in a positive way right? (sarcasm)) That is when I thought well you know what if it is causing problems them maybe you oughta take a break.... that lead to failiure, after failure. That is when I thought well you've gone and done it now, you are an alcoholic after all. I came here and started reading, asking questions, geting advice, explaining/expanding my viewpoints, and trying to help others through thier troubles helping myself in the process. It still took a while, but I am glad that I made the decision when I did at 29, especially after coming here for a while and reading how bad it usually gets before people decide to give it up. Now that I look back on it I was an alcoholic years ago I had just fooled myself into thinking that I wasn't that bad because I didn't have a family and did well at work, so no problem. It is when it caused problems that I finaly admited it to myself and started working on it.
Now a question for you. When are you going to know that it is time?
I don't consider where I was/am to be rock bottom at all. I can get far lower if I wanted to or let myself. I still have a good job, I got plenty of money (by my standards) I don't have a family or girlfriend but that is not the alcohols fault. I still have my health, and a few friends/reletives that care about me. Only a few because I am picky with my friends and move cities way more often than most. I think I have a lot lower I could go.
How did I know it was time to stop? Short answer again, when I found out I couldn't just quit whenever I wanted.
When it started seriously impacting my job in a negative way (like it can in a positive way right? (sarcasm)) That is when I thought well you know what if it is causing problems them maybe you oughta take a break.... that lead to failiure, after failure. That is when I thought well you've gone and done it now, you are an alcoholic after all. I came here and started reading, asking questions, geting advice, explaining/expanding my viewpoints, and trying to help others through thier troubles helping myself in the process. It still took a while, but I am glad that I made the decision when I did at 29, especially after coming here for a while and reading how bad it usually gets before people decide to give it up. Now that I look back on it I was an alcoholic years ago I had just fooled myself into thinking that I wasn't that bad because I didn't have a family and did well at work, so no problem. It is when it caused problems that I finaly admited it to myself and started working on it.
Now a question for you. When are you going to know that it is time?
The answer to your question is I know that it is time, and that is all down to this forum.
Thanks again,
Bruno
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,423
Some great advice here Bruno
Don't be like me - I kept rationalising that I really wasn't that bad, that this was just a phase, that I had a lot of problems most people didn't have and I needed an escape, when it gets too bad I'll stop...
I was in a metaphorical pan of boiling water not noticing how hot I was getting...I nearly died waiting to hit bottom.
Bottom is simply that point when you say 'I can't live like this. No more'....and I believe you can do that anytime you want
D
Don't be like me - I kept rationalising that I really wasn't that bad, that this was just a phase, that I had a lot of problems most people didn't have and I needed an escape, when it gets too bad I'll stop...
I was in a metaphorical pan of boiling water not noticing how hot I was getting...I nearly died waiting to hit bottom.
Bottom is simply that point when you say 'I can't live like this. No more'....and I believe you can do that anytime you want
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
I couldn't stand seeing myself in the mirror. I woke up every day feeling like shitt and hating myself and wishing I were dead. I hadn't 'lost' anything but my self respect, but that was enough. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. 28 months later I'm glad I quit. I love living sober!
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
I hit what should have been a 'bottom', and it wasn't.. hit another one that may not have stopped a lot of people but it did me. I was just ready.. and it really didn't have much to do with the severity of the situation.. I ran out of reasons to keep killing myself and I became much more scared of staying drunk than I was of getting sober. I think that moment is incredibly personal..
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Somewhere in Canada
Posts: 95
I decided to stop when after many unsuccessful attempts to stop I decided to end my life. When I woke up very alive in the hospital I realized that I was given a second chance and decided that I wouldn't mess it up this time around.
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