Jeni26

I am beginning to HATE alcohol. Started a few weeks ago when a friends drunken behaviour ruined an otherwise lovely evening, then continued at a family get together at the weekend when I felt so out of it and alone watching others drink themselves stupid in front of some young kids who watched in bewilderment. Today I found out that a close friend was attacked by some drunk teenagers outside a pub where he was also drinking heavily. He is now critically ill with head injuries. I just want no part in this sort of life any more. I have seen such a lot of dreadful things since I've been sober that I'm ashamed to say wouldn't have affected me in the least were I still drinking.
I am still unclear about how best to go about making the changes I need to, but I know I just need to and that's a start.
Growing up in an alcoholic household and surrounding myself with functioning alcoholic friends normalised so much unacceptable behaviour.
I don't know how to estrange myself from all the negative influences around me, but I so want to be a part of the 'real' world now.

coming_clean

stop hating drinking....start loving eing bsober

artsoul

I feel the same way about alcohol now..... it's not even possible to calculate all the damage it causes. Once you begin to realize it though, it ruins your drinking.... (!)

I didn't believe I could be happy without drinking, didn't want to quit..... but I was hanging on by an emotional thread and, like you, knew it was going to have to end sooner or later. One day I just made up my mind to be done with it - why wait until it goes from bad to worse?

I think once you make the decision, you'll find the way to make it work.:ghug3

2granddaughters

Jeni, are you going to AA meetings?

Bob

hypochondriac

I know how you feel Jeni, especially about 'normalising' the behaviour. I don't know how different it is in other places but drinking in the UK seems to be such a huge part of the culture.

Jeni26

No am not going to meetings, that seems a huge and very scary step for me and I'm petrified to be honest. Just doing a lot of reading and thinking at the moment until I'm certain beyond any doubt that I won't fail. Taking a lot of strength from this site and want to be clear in my head before I take the next step. Sure others will say I'm still in denial but I know the truth and am moving forward.

Sapling

We're pretty good at it on this side of the pond too...I think we learned it from you people.

Sapling

Jeni...For me in early sobriety...Meetings were the only place I felt safe...Sometimes you have to step outside your comfort zone....Do things you don't want to do...If that's too much for you...Maybe you should look into AVRT....I don't think it involves meetings....I think if I sat around and waited till I was certain I wouldn't fail....I wouldn't be here right now.