Feelings of Guilt...won't go away..
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bridgeton
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Feelings of Guilt...won't go away..
Been sober for a bit over a year now. One thing I keep feeling is guilt that I have for action of my children.
My 21 year old daughter got a DUI when I was still in rehab. I cried when she called me to tell about her DUI.
I felt so guilty as I set a bad example for her and of course the dreaded 'genetic' connection.
Every time she calls me, I get a wave of guilt that makes me want to crawl under a rock. She is in college, she works and she is trying to deal with the fines & surcharges that go along with the charge.
It is so hard for me to let go of the guilt. I want to help her out more but financially I am struggling also.
She is my (baby girl) daughter & always will be. This past year she has inspired me at times almost to tears. Whenever she calls, she is always so wound up about her situation--it is hard to calm her down. I don't know what to do about these feelings of guilt. Should I call her more often? I try to avoid it as I always get guilty & upset. The same goes with my son...
I lost my drivers license for 10 years and feel useless as I can not get to see them or 'be there' for them....ditto on my aging parents.
My 21 year old daughter got a DUI when I was still in rehab. I cried when she called me to tell about her DUI.
I felt so guilty as I set a bad example for her and of course the dreaded 'genetic' connection.
Every time she calls me, I get a wave of guilt that makes me want to crawl under a rock. She is in college, she works and she is trying to deal with the fines & surcharges that go along with the charge.
It is so hard for me to let go of the guilt. I want to help her out more but financially I am struggling also.
She is my (baby girl) daughter & always will be. This past year she has inspired me at times almost to tears. Whenever she calls, she is always so wound up about her situation--it is hard to calm her down. I don't know what to do about these feelings of guilt. Should I call her more often? I try to avoid it as I always get guilty & upset. The same goes with my son...
I lost my drivers license for 10 years and feel useless as I can not get to see them or 'be there' for them....ditto on my aging parents.
Hi Bryan,
The main thing is that you are sober now and good for you for being sober for a year. Blaming yourself for the past won't help.
And, yes, in my opinion you should not let your discomfort come into this, and you should call your daughter more often. It sounds like she trusts you and would benefit by talking to you. This should be a chance for you to help her through a tough period. It's too bad you can't drive to see her, but is it possible to take a bus to visit? Be a shining example to your daughter and show her what a sober life can be.
The main thing is that you are sober now and good for you for being sober for a year. Blaming yourself for the past won't help.
And, yes, in my opinion you should not let your discomfort come into this, and you should call your daughter more often. It sounds like she trusts you and would benefit by talking to you. This should be a chance for you to help her through a tough period. It's too bad you can't drive to see her, but is it possible to take a bus to visit? Be a shining example to your daughter and show her what a sober life can be.
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