zhask

Hey everyone,

Let me introduce myself, I'm 19 i live in The Netherlands (Amsterdam), i got Chronic Depression, Chronic Anxiety disorder and Chronic Depersonalization & Derealization when i was 17, after 11 months of Marijuana abuse (up to 6 joints a day)

So immeadiatly i kicked away the marijuana cause i was just freaking out and was so afraid of maybe getting schizophrenia.

So after 6 months of having this horrible feeling that everything is a film, a dream & unreal i realized that when i drank Alcohol (In social situations) in combination with the Medications im taking (Betablocker & Benzodiazepines for Anxiety and SSRI for depression) that the Dissociative feelings would fade out slowly ( Cried of happiness feeling a bit of reality again after 6 months thanks to Alcohol )

So thats when my alcohol usage started, in my surroundings its pretty normal to drink 3 or 4 days a week (Dad, brother, friends & cousins & uncles) so eventually i had the same thing, drank 4 days which eventually led to all days of the week.

Now at the point i was drinking almost everyday i entered group therapy for all my defects (Anxiety, DP & DR, Depression & PTSD) And soon me, my therapists and parents agreed i was drinking too much, so i limited myself to 3 days a week only.

Which was pretty hard for me back then, but i'm doing pretty good the last few months.

But now i have a dilemma, i have limited myself to 3 days a week of drinking, which also drives me crazy since Alcohol is known to let people who are dissociated from the world feel closer to reality. So the drinking is a big reward for a person like me (NO THERE IS NOT A SINGLE MEDICATION FOR THIS HORRIBLE DISORDER (talking about Chronic DP & DR)) Benzo's & Alcohol are known to lighten it up.

So should i keep on torturing my psyche and keep my body clean untill a solution shows up (might take years and years) or torture my body and keeping my head clear?

Also, am i really addicted ?
And what to do when im having cravings for a normal state of mind and not some paranoid weird brain that thinks its dreaming (Aka cravings for alcohol)?

So share your opnions, don't worry about offending me as long as you tell me the truth.

Thanks in advance.

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

Dee74

Hi Zhask

Welcome

I'm obviously not the from The Netherlands but I've never heard anyone promote alcohol as being good for dissociative disorders.

In the beginning, I can see it might make socialising easier, but that's a long way from saying alcohol is 'known to let people who are dissociated from the world feel closer to reality'.

Over time, my experience was I found alcohol ultimately took me away from the world and isolated me *more*.

I would definitely check with a Dr on this idea - or another one if you have already - and on the idea that it's ok to mix alcohol and meds - because, in the vast majority of cases, according to the label, it's simply not.

D

sugarbear1

you may want to see a psychiatrist today as Chronic Depersonalization & Derealization are short term disorders and any long term disorder of this sort is often due to something else like being bipolar and can be treated with actual prescribed medications. Don't get stuck on an old label, see a new doc soon.

try NOT drinking on any day

stay stopped and then you can get a new and relevant diagnosis

stick around here, you aren't alone in the staying stopped from drinking department!

Anna

Welcome,

I agree with the above. It sounds like you would do well to get a second opinion and find out if there are other medications that help.

luck99

hi im kinda of in the same boat as you if i was you i would stop the drinking, get sober and clean from benzos, period , harder said then done, iv been from withdrawal from drink had DT and didnt even know it was a thing, and iv had withdrawal from valium and it felt like i was about to die maybe panic made me feel that way. anyway iv self medicated for years switched one thing for another, non of it worked.. you need to realise and see why you have depersonlation, chronic anxiety what made it happen, besides the weed.. and make a small change to come back to the old you!!

it will be unamanagley hard for fair few months, because everything is changing, knowledge is they key keep revisisng information and get a strategic plan, maybe isolate from your so called friends because boy cravings when things go bad they can easily sway you to using again too and your feel rotten. vicous circle, the reason why im suggesting this is you need to get back to old you. no medication or alcohol with do that it will only separate you even more form the truth, and your be in denial all your life. plus doctors jump to conculsions to easy, and swear by medication when in fact ur burrying you head in the sand like with narcotics, and sooner or later it will go titis up. it wont be a quick fix but if your persit and dont relapse it will work turst me, im 3 months clean and see things now i didnt when i was using, and feel like i can get the old me back. everyones differnt but i promise give it a good legnth of time and things will slowly start coming back together, feel free to pm on anything anytime. good luck! thats my honest advise, and even doctors get it wrong dont forget your just another number to them and they look for quick fixs with medication not long term solutions. its your life so make the write decision and stick to it no matter what.

Hawkeye13

I have anhedonia and I don't think drinking has been a particularly successful long-term solution for me,
as it is a progressive thing and although it allowed me to "feel" such feeling came at quite a cost in the end to my personal life and physical self.

Have you tried--really tried not just "sampled" natural methods like exercise, meditation, being in Nature, yoga?

These have all helped me, and though I still have the issue, it's better than craving alcohol all the time or drinking it.

biminiblue

This thread is from 2012...I hope the OP found some relief.