zorah

No need to answer this..... I'm such an idiot to think I'm in control. I feel like crap for drinking, vowing to stop, throwing out my liquor, then buying some more and waking up knowing I'm back on the old cycle. I was up til 4:00 a.m. holding onto my head cuz I drank AGAIN. Well, let's be honest, I never really stopped. Not completely. That honesty thing--not my style!

It's April 1, my mother's birthday. She's in a wheel chair in Oregon. I want to be there for her, rather than wallow in my own crap. So I thought this would be a good day to stop.... in honor of her. It seem perfect to have my first day be April fools. If I can stick to it, I'll never forget my sobriety date and it will remind me of the foolishness of my phantasies. ...

Thanks for listening you guys...

Dominica2

Zorah, I know exactly how that feels. Today is definitely a great day to start. It would awesome to have the same sober date as your mothers birthday! You can do it and you are worth it! It may not be the easiest thing in the world but once you are on the road to recovery it gets easier. Best wishes to you! Remember, you are worth it!!!

Love,
Dom.

sugarbear1

you can do this!

BackToSquareOne

Quitting on April fools day would be one hell of a trick to play on the alcohol demons.

IndaMiricale

Your no fool on April fools

Best wishes to you and your mom.

losteverything

Zorah..pick yourself up and continue on, please...I have enjoyed your posts on AVRT..sometimes the beast just takes over, so eagerly, if we dont concrete our resolve to never drink again, ever. So, he won one...can be last time..

desertsong

Any day is a good day to stop, Zorah, and I hope you do, especially a day that has some meaning to you. My sober date ended up (unintentionally) being the first anniversary of my alcoholic father's death. It is very symbolic to me, as I don't want to go my grave the same route that he did.

Glad you are on Day 1; you don't ever have to do this again.

2granddaughters

zorah: What is your new plan to stay sober? Are you going to attend AA?

I wish you the best.

Bob R

Dee74

welcome back Zorah
so whats the plan?

D

zorah

I met a woman in an open aa meeting who offered to talk to me about my drinking. i'm going to call her tomorrow, sit down with her, and see what happens. i know i want to get better. i know i can't do this alone, at least not now. i know that i don't want to suffer like my dad did his whole adult life. i know there are answers out there if i'm willing to listen.
thanks so much for your support everyone. :-) zorah