Really want to quit--question about Aa/Big Book
Personally, I'd recommend the Beginner's Meeting - you're more likely to find people who are starting off just like you and the topic will more likely be about taking the first step, realizing there's a problem, making a decision to get sober, etc....... In a discussion meeting it could be about anything (tackling resentments, loneliness, whatever).
No one is going to ask you to give a speech (!)... a lot of people don't say much they're first meeting other than why they're there (drinking is a problem and they want to get sober). Everyone is scared at first and believe me, they understand because they remember being there!
No one is going to ask you to give a speech (!)... a lot of people don't say much they're first meeting other than why they're there (drinking is a problem and they want to get sober). Everyone is scared at first and believe me, they understand because they remember being there!
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You don't have to say anything...They'll ask in the beginning if it's anybody's first meeting...You can raise your hand and introduce yourself....If you don't want to share...Just say I'll pass...I'd like to listen...They'll keep it basic as you probably won't be the only newcomer there...Just listen and learn....I'd recommend showing up 15 minutes early and meeting some people before...They're great people....Doing what you want to do.
Beginners meetings are great - why not make it a habit of going?
As far as sharing -- that's totally up to you. If you feel more comfortable listening, just say so. There's no reason you have to share.
As far as sharing -- that's totally up to you. If you feel more comfortable listening, just say so. There's no reason you have to share.
I think you owe it to yourself to look at other approaches besides AA. Nothing wrong with being an educated consumer!
For starters, here's a link to SMART Recovery:
Self Help Substance Abuse & Addiction Recovery | SMART RecoveryŽ
For starters, here's a link to SMART Recovery:
Self Help Substance Abuse & Addiction Recovery | SMART RecoveryŽ
Maybe AA isn't the best fit for you. I personally don't think you have anything to lose by going to check out a meeting, except perhaps an hour of your time. The only requirement to being a member of AA is a desire to quit drinking, so if you want to go the AA route it's definitely open to you.
But don't close yourself off from other recovery options as well -- AVRT, SMART, etc. In my experience the best recovery program for you is the one that you feel you identify the best with, feel most at home practicing and agree with ideologically. If you can find a program that can tick all those boxes I think you're in good shape to quit.
Best wishes,
But don't close yourself off from other recovery options as well -- AVRT, SMART, etc. In my experience the best recovery program for you is the one that you feel you identify the best with, feel most at home practicing and agree with ideologically. If you can find a program that can tick all those boxes I think you're in good shape to quit.
Best wishes,
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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In AA I've heard countless people's stories over time, and they are as varied as the individuals who tell them. As you might imagine some include great darkness.
One of the worst I've heard is a woman who had the responsibility for the care of small children. She needed to drink, but the kids needed care. She'd drink and fear something would happen to them while she was unable to deal with it. She'd fear that people would find out and take them away from her, the important thing in her life would be gone from her drinking, but she had to drink and she had to take care of them...
Nothing much ever happened, but how she lived for those years before doing AA...gives me the chills right now.
AA, through it's members, close study of it's literature, and your experience with the steps can inform you regarding your alcoholism, which is not about events, adventures, amounts, bank balances, length of rap sheet. Being informed is nice, but what's of real use is it offers a solution for our shared problem that works well for the relatively few who expend some small efforts to utilize it.
If you go, you'll see people new, some sober only 20 years, and people with double that time sober and more. Each went to their first meeting unsure if they were the real thing.
It may take months of doing AA to get that, though you have suspicions it's so now. Gaining that understanding is important and worthwhile. And available to you.
Should you seek clarity regarding your alcoholism and not find it there's nothing lost but a few hours a week that would have been given to being sick otherwise.
One of the worst I've heard is a woman who had the responsibility for the care of small children. She needed to drink, but the kids needed care. She'd drink and fear something would happen to them while she was unable to deal with it. She'd fear that people would find out and take them away from her, the important thing in her life would be gone from her drinking, but she had to drink and she had to take care of them...
Nothing much ever happened, but how she lived for those years before doing AA...gives me the chills right now.
AA, through it's members, close study of it's literature, and your experience with the steps can inform you regarding your alcoholism, which is not about events, adventures, amounts, bank balances, length of rap sheet. Being informed is nice, but what's of real use is it offers a solution for our shared problem that works well for the relatively few who expend some small efforts to utilize it.
If you go, you'll see people new, some sober only 20 years, and people with double that time sober and more. Each went to their first meeting unsure if they were the real thing.
It may take months of doing AA to get that, though you have suspicions it's so now. Gaining that understanding is important and worthwhile. And available to you.
Should you seek clarity regarding your alcoholism and not find it there's nothing lost but a few hours a week that would have been given to being sick otherwise.
Personally, I like open talk meetings a lot as well. Usually the speaker is qualified to be up there, they've worked the steps and generally have a good message.....usually one I need to hear. It helps me to remember, most of the really important things I've learned came from someone's mouth other than mine so, at a meeting, I need to focus on what I hear, not what I'm going to say.
As far as what you referred to as the definition.....I think you got it just a little out of whack. AA uses as a definition of the real (aka chronic) alcoholic someone with the physical craving that develops once you start to drink and the mental compulsion to pick up the first one even when you've decided not to drink. The part you mentioned from p21 I misread the first time through the book.
He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk.
This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. But this description should identify him roughly.
Also, since you're looking for advice on AA, it would probably help to toss some posts up where most of the AA ppl hang out here on SR - in the 12Step area. You'll find a lot of ppl there who've used the program successfully for many weeks, months, years and even a handful who've used it successfully for several decades. Lots and LOTS of wisdom down there if you want it.
Hi there. I definately felt the same when I read the book but when I went to a meeting it wasn't like that. I was a highly functional heavy nightly boozer. There were people there that drank more and people that drank less. The best advice for me was to look for similarities not the differences. I LOVE listening to people speak, so fascinating and nice to know I'm not alone in this crazy behavior!
I'm a mum and can I tell u that after the first HARD month life is amazing! I have soooooo much more fun with my daughter and rarely feel irritable which I often used to. Don't waste another minute numbing yourself from the fun and love u could be feeling! You'll know what I mean when u get here (I'm only 8 weeks).
All the best
I'm a mum and can I tell u that after the first HARD month life is amazing! I have soooooo much more fun with my daughter and rarely feel irritable which I often used to. Don't waste another minute numbing yourself from the fun and love u could be feeling! You'll know what I mean when u get here (I'm only 8 weeks).
All the best
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