Notices

Really want to quit--question about Aa/Big Book

Old 03-29-2012, 11:49 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
SR Fan
 
artsoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Personally, I'd recommend the Beginner's Meeting - you're more likely to find people who are starting off just like you and the topic will more likely be about taking the first step, realizing there's a problem, making a decision to get sober, etc....... In a discussion meeting it could be about anything (tackling resentments, loneliness, whatever).

No one is going to ask you to give a speech (!)... a lot of people don't say much they're first meeting other than why they're there (drinking is a problem and they want to get sober). Everyone is scared at first and believe me, they understand because they remember being there!
artsoul is offline  
Old 03-29-2012, 12:00 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
You don't have to say anything...They'll ask in the beginning if it's anybody's first meeting...You can raise your hand and introduce yourself....If you don't want to share...Just say I'll pass...I'd like to listen...They'll keep it basic as you probably won't be the only newcomer there...Just listen and learn....I'd recommend showing up 15 minutes early and meeting some people before...They're great people....Doing what you want to do.
Sapling is offline  
Old 03-29-2012, 12:38 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Its_me_jen
 
PaperDolls's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Beginners meetings are great - why not make it a habit of going?

As far as sharing -- that's totally up to you. If you feel more comfortable listening, just say so. There's no reason you have to share.
PaperDolls is offline  
Old 03-29-2012, 02:16 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
listen to AA speakers on xa-speakers.org and see if you can identify with any of them!
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 03-29-2012, 03:19 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member of SMART Recovery
 
onlythetruth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
I think you owe it to yourself to look at other approaches besides AA. Nothing wrong with being an educated consumer!

For starters, here's a link to SMART Recovery:

Self Help Substance Abuse &amp Addiction Recovery | SMART RecoveryŽ
onlythetruth is offline  
Old 03-29-2012, 04:31 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
I'm here to learn!
 
eJoshua's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Maybe AA isn't the best fit for you. I personally don't think you have anything to lose by going to check out a meeting, except perhaps an hour of your time. The only requirement to being a member of AA is a desire to quit drinking, so if you want to go the AA route it's definitely open to you.

But don't close yourself off from other recovery options as well -- AVRT, SMART, etc. In my experience the best recovery program for you is the one that you feel you identify the best with, feel most at home practicing and agree with ideologically. If you can find a program that can tick all those boxes I think you're in good shape to quit.

Best wishes,
eJoshua is offline  
Old 03-30-2012, 02:28 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
In AA I've heard countless people's stories over time, and they are as varied as the individuals who tell them. As you might imagine some include great darkness.

One of the worst I've heard is a woman who had the responsibility for the care of small children. She needed to drink, but the kids needed care. She'd drink and fear something would happen to them while she was unable to deal with it. She'd fear that people would find out and take them away from her, the important thing in her life would be gone from her drinking, but she had to drink and she had to take care of them...

Nothing much ever happened, but how she lived for those years before doing AA...gives me the chills right now.

AA, through it's members, close study of it's literature, and your experience with the steps can inform you regarding your alcoholism, which is not about events, adventures, amounts, bank balances, length of rap sheet. Being informed is nice, but what's of real use is it offers a solution for our shared problem that works well for the relatively few who expend some small efforts to utilize it.

If you go, you'll see people new, some sober only 20 years, and people with double that time sober and more. Each went to their first meeting unsure if they were the real thing.

It may take months of doing AA to get that, though you have suspicions it's so now. Gaining that understanding is important and worthwhile. And available to you.

Should you seek clarity regarding your alcoholism and not find it there's nothing lost but a few hours a week that would have been given to being sick otherwise.
langkah is offline  
Old 03-30-2012, 05:05 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
12-Step Recovered Alkie
 
DayTrader's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by ForMyKids View Post
Do you recommend having the first meeting be a Beginner Meeting and sharing (which is a large source of my intimidation and hesitancy) with others?

Or go (same day same time) to a bigger discussion to listen and get the idea of things.
Really, I don't see that it matters much. When I was new, I was very concerned about impressing ppl at the tables or, at the least NOT saying something "dumb." That had me sitting in the group worrying about what I was going to say more than listening and learning. Even at the beginner's meetings, you don't have to share every time you're there. In fact, I usually recommend my sponsees listen and pass when it's their "turn" so they don't get hung up on what they're going to say and can focus on what the experienced ppl are saying.

Personally, I like open talk meetings a lot as well. Usually the speaker is qualified to be up there, they've worked the steps and generally have a good message.....usually one I need to hear. It helps me to remember, most of the really important things I've learned came from someone's mouth other than mine so, at a meeting, I need to focus on what I hear, not what I'm going to say.

As far as what you referred to as the definition.....I think you got it just a little out of whack. AA uses as a definition of the real (aka chronic) alcoholic someone with the physical craving that develops once you start to drink and the mental compulsion to pick up the first one even when you've decided not to drink. The part you mentioned from p21 I misread the first time through the book.
He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk.
I thought that meant an alcoholic was drunk all the time.....it doesn't. I'm a real alkie myself and I wasn't "insanely drunk" all the time. When I was drinking though, it was VERY rare that I'd have one or two, get a mild buzz, and leave it at that. In my drinking experience, if I was gonna start drinking, I was gonna "do it right" and get pretty well loaded. TO ME, having 3 quadruple Captain and Coke's was a "decent buzz" but it was around 5-7 that I liked to "maintain." To an ordinary (social) drinker, I probably appeared quite drunk. In my mind, that level felt "just right." And keep in mind, all those descriptions end with this comment:
This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. But this description should identify him roughly.
- not exactly.

Also, since you're looking for advice on AA, it would probably help to toss some posts up where most of the AA ppl hang out here on SR - in the 12Step area. You'll find a lot of ppl there who've used the program successfully for many weeks, months, years and even a handful who've used it successfully for several decades. Lots and LOTS of wisdom down there if you want it.
DayTrader is offline  
Old 03-30-2012, 05:39 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
 
DoinThis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 282
Hi there. I definately felt the same when I read the book but when I went to a meeting it wasn't like that. I was a highly functional heavy nightly boozer. There were people there that drank more and people that drank less. The best advice for me was to look for similarities not the differences. I LOVE listening to people speak, so fascinating and nice to know I'm not alone in this crazy behavior!

I'm a mum and can I tell u that after the first HARD month life is amazing! I have soooooo much more fun with my daughter and rarely feel irritable which I often used to. Don't waste another minute numbing yourself from the fun and love u could be feeling! You'll know what I mean when u get here (I'm only 8 weeks).

All the best
DoinThis is offline  
Old 03-30-2012, 06:38 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
Did you follow through with going to that meeting?

How did it go?
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 03-30-2012, 09:36 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by sugarbear1 View Post
Did you follow through with going to that meeting?

How did it go?
My wife was getting a migraine, so I went home instead. BUT, I did stick to my plan (previous post), and didn't cave in to further cravings! Woke up very proud of myself, actually, which is nice.
ForMyKids is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:03 AM.