wheresthefun

Everyone has some crap in their lives, Kez - everyone. Some more than others? Sure! But, we all have good and bad in our lives.

But, I will now ask you to define "easy". Is it having plenty of money, or a job you love, or not having a substance abuse problem, or not coming from a dysfunctional family...? What is an "easy life", at least as defined by you, Kez?

ReadyAndAble

Kez, glad you decided to come back by here. You've been around enough that you must realize there are plenty of people who have overcome addiction while facing enormous challenges. Major health problems, kids with health problems, homelessness, violence in the home, the deaths of loved ones...

If you want to compare yourself with other people, you can always find people who have it a whole lot tougher.

The way I see it, we have two choices. We can ask ourselves, "Why me?", or we can tell ourselves, "Why not me?", and start taking steps to overcome the challenge in front of us.

It's not the hardships that define us. It's how we respond to them.

Kez

All I was simply saying was,,,, why does there has to be this thing called addiction??? why does it have to be an obstacle in our lives?? why does it even exist??? It was a random thought and please dont misinterpret and think I am saying ohhh woa is me and why me, I guess I was looking more at the philosphical aspect at the time of typing it.....and maybe I didnt express my self correctly...
So comparing myself to others, no I was not doing that, as you say I have been around long enough to know that that sort of thinking is ridiculous.
In making this comment I was responding to stillsleeping No one put this challenge in front of me. I was born with it. If not this challenge, there'd be another one. Who gets an easy life? Who wants an easy life? - there are always challenges, others seem to attract more than others, easier ones to harder ones. I truly believe that if we focus and have the right might set we can attract an easier life. Of course people would like to have less crap in their lives.......

Kez

Sorry Dee, I missed your comment...

I guess I am more talking about my partner when I talk about "in my face" hed try to be supportive but it doesnt last long.... its easier to miss something when you've got no choice but stare at it.

I guess it would be easy to say well dont be around it - but unless I moved out of home that is not an option...

So I gotta figure something else out..... somehow

sugarbear1

I've found a way to attract more positive things in my life and my life is much easier than it was 10 months ago. You can find it, too kez. It's waiting for you.

Hevyn

Hi Kez - I hope you stay! It sounds like drinking isn't doing anything positive for you. I know for me, there were no more happy or fun times, only misery. I stayed numb & foggy for so much of my life - it was destroying me. I had to see what it was like on the 'other side'.

You can rise above your addiction and have a whole new life. Please keep posting Kez.

Kez

Thanks Sugarbear

Kez

Thanks Heavyn

my problem is I do enjoy a wine or two after work - how do you stop enjoying that??

Sapling

Thanks...And I don't miss it...It wasn't easy for me to stop....I had to commit myself to it and put in the effort needed for it to work....I got what I wanted and what I worked for...Like anything else in life...I guess the only way you'll find out if you'll miss it or not...Is by living without it for some time....I could walk out my door right now and go to the liquor store and get a bottle if I wanted to....The reason I don't....I prefer living without it.

Hevyn

Well Kez, for me there was never any wine or two - it was always the whole bottle and maybe another bottle. I had no control in the end & it was dangerous & destructive.

Sapling

I couldn't drink one or two either...Matter of fact...I don't ever remember doing that...And I drank a long time.

Kez

Yep - I find myself struggling with the same thing as last time..... I dont mind the one or two after work, sometimes I can stop at that,, but sometimes I cant,, so Its a double edged sword, I enjoy the couple - its the rest thats the problem...... as everyone else can identify with....

Kez

Yes Hevyn - Ive resulted to buying the wine in the glass sized bottles, I buy only two - sometimes thats ok but then hubby always has a carton down the shed and is having one or two himself so sometimes I have a few of them as well... And sometimes when I cant get my little bottles I buy the big ones,, with the intent that I will ONLY have two,,, then low and behold the whole bottle is gone,,, I hate that....

to add, I dont live close to a bottle shop I live a few kays out of town so I guess I am lucky in the sense that I cant just nip around the corner and get more... but geez I tell ya Id be in a lot more trouble than I am now if I could,, because sometimes those two just wet the palate, but I deal with it.... and go to bed...

Sapling

You know why we identify with that...Right Kez?

wheresthefun

Okay, fair enough. Kez. In fact, this is just one of the many times I wish I had kept my mouth (fingers) shut, and wished I had never posted on your thread. Although regarding my second post, you did respond directly to me, and I find it rude when that happens and the person does not reply.

As for the philosophical aspect of why we have won/lost the addiction lottery, there probably are answers, but unless they will play a role in directly helping me to overcome my problem(s) I don't really care about the whys.

And yes, there definitely are times I would like an easier life, but I'll say this, after deciding to become a non-drinker my life DID become easier, and continues to be so.

Dee74

Maybe you need to remind yourself where you end up with those one or two wines Kez...if you could have one or two wines, stop, and not want anymore, and never suffer any negative consequences, you wouldn't be here.

I get it tho.

It was really hard for me for a lot of years to stop drinking because there was little in the way of consequences, then not much in the way of consequences, then nothing I couldn't handle in the way of consequences...after that, even I had to start to admit I had a problem...

Things get worse, not better with alcoholism - I hope you can find the courage to admit that to yourself, and accept it now rather than later, Kez.

D

Kez

As for the philosophical aspect of why we have won/lost the addiction lottery, there probably are answers, but unless they will play a role in directly helping me to overcome my problem(s) I don't really care about the whys.

to true Wheresthefun, I guess when I typed it it was just a moment in time, definitely something not to dwell on .

And yes I definitely do Sapling - so here I am today the two wines werent enough so I had a few ports and here I am at HOME when I should be at WORK feeling really guilty right now - cant remember the last time I did this...

So yes Dee reminded... well and truly, very timely advice

Sapling

So what's your plan Kez?...Life as usual...Nothing changes...Nothing changes....Or do you think it might be time to hang it up?

Kez

This is something that I have to confront when I get back from holidays. Thursday week I leave to go to North Qld and then NSW two weeks, I know I will be setting my self up to fail if I stop now....

I know that sounds lame but it is the truth, my father turns 60 which is why I am going over there and I am afraid I inherited the alcoholic gene from him, there will be lots of alcohol and socializing..... I dont think I would be strong enough at this stage to abstain.

Dee74

There's never a good time to quit tho Kez...

D