12skiptomylue

Hey, first off, I just wanted to apologize. I went back and read thru all my posts, and I didn't realize how high strung and irritable I was. I guess there is truth to the whole "irritability" when someone stops drinking! My word!!! I kept feeling attacked, and wasn't able to hear the good stuff, and the support. I'm sorry for that, and I'm glad you guys didn't totally write me off.

I wanted you to know that I started going to AA, I've had coffee with three different people, and I asked for someone to be my sponser. I'm kind of overwhelmed, and still feel like I am wayyyyyyyyyyyy overreacting. But, I'm also trying to treat this as sort of an investigation into myself. It can't hurt anything!!

And I'm 12 days sober.

GirlFromCO

12 days! Great job Almost 2 weeks, and that's half way to a month!

Holly7

Good to hear from you skip. I went to one AA meeting on day 3 sober and decided it wasn't for me. I keep having conversations with myself about my drinking and I think I just freaked myself out with the routine I had got into with alcohol and needed to snap out of it. Now looking back on it(although it's only been 23 days) I feel like such an idiot for letting my relationship with alcohol get out of hand. I get so pissed at myself that I felt I needed it. I never want that relationship with alcohol again. Now I just need to figure out if that means never drinking again or not. For now though I'm just treating it as a really long break because the thought of never drinking again quite frankly makes me sad.

Hevyn

Great job on 12 days, skiptomylue! Very proud of you.

Sapling

Congrats on 12 days....And AA won't hurt you at all...You have my word on that.....Good for you....I can't think of a better way to learn about yourself.

Dominica2

Great job on 12 days!

vinyl

Congrats on your 12 days, that's double my days sober, and inspiring. If I can do 6, I can do 12!

artsoul

Hey skip - Well, I didn't notice anything, but do remember feeling the same way. Give yourself lots of love and don't take on too much right now......

Remember that it's just normal for early sobriety. Just staying sober is a job and each day is a victory and you deserve to pat yourself on the back! Congrats on 12!!!!!!

IndaMiricale

Awesome deal and no apologies necessary

I glad your giving AA a visit , and your right it cant hurt. I know for me leaving me to my own devices I am screwed.

langkah

Nice to hear about your progress...very good for 12 days in.

12skiptomylue

Holly, I totally hear you! And I can totally relate to the feelings of, "I waYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY overreacted, overcorrected, I don't belong there". I still FEEL that way. I'm SO angry with myself that I'm here, and even saying, "I might have a problem". On day two, I felt VERY, VERY sad. And even right now, the thought of never drinking again freaks me out. What do you mean I can't have one beer? A couple glasses of wine? I totally can. No one is taking that option from me. But like you, I have a routine with alcohol. And like you, I'm not okay with it.

Long story short. I've chosen to use this entire experience as sort of an investigation into myself.

I even had a friend in the program say, "I don't think you are an alcoholic, but AA is a way of life, and it can help anyone".

So, I decided to go forward with it for a while and see where it takes me. If I'm totally bored and feel like I'm not relating at all, or I'm not getting anything from the experience, then I'll quit. But I am getting something from it right now, and what I'm getting is better than sitting home alone drinking.

I'm honestly not at all saying you should go back. Really. AA isn't for everyone. I've been introduced to the SMART recovery model, and actually looked into that for myself, but there are none where I live. I was introduced to it by someone who used to lead a SMART group. She said that they operate in an understanding that everyone has an addiction to something: diet coke, shopping, drinking, drugs, coffee, etc. And they use a cost-benefit analysis system (like cognitive behavioral therapy), and really examine the things that you are using "things" for, what you think you are going to get from them, what you actually get, and whether what you actually get is worth it. It makes a lot of sense, and I really like the idea that everyone has some sort of addiction to something.

Best wishes to you that you are able to break your patterns. Keep asking for help. No one should have to do it alone.

keepfinding2

Ya know I didn't even notice. Good for you at the near 2 weeks. You'll have the month down in no time. Good luck buddy.

Dee74

sounds great skip

D

langkah

Maybe look over todays posts on the SMART forum to get a feeling for it. Because there are few f2f meetings the net's the main place worldwide for members to have contact with each other. The number and content of the posts will be informative.

Since they run about only 1/6th of the daily number of posts that appear here on SR it won't take you long at all, and you'll come away with an improved understanding.

Considering all the people who shop, drink diet sodas, and enjoy coffee I'd expect more than 50 posts out of close to 7 billion people in the world, but the rest probably already got fixed, stopped doing those things and went on their way.

Taking a close look for yourself always beats imagining how things are.

Happy reading!

2granddaughters

12skip, glad to hear you're dry and attending AA. You will meet some super folks in AA and learn a lot about yourself and the disease. It will not be "dead time", it will be live time.

All the best to you.

Bob R

hypochondriac

Hey 12skip. I have kept on thinking about what you have said about feeling like you're over reacting. I think I felt that way a lot too. My drinking was never really that bad, I've only had a few embarrassing situations but I always had a gut feeling that something was wrong. I grew up in an environment where you dealt with your own problems and I think that my feeling like I was over reacting was just my inability to admit that I had a problem I wasn't controlling and needed help with. You have nothing to lose by going to AA. If you find you don't like it though I'd consider giving the Rational Recovery book a quick read too before you think about going back to controlled drinking again. It can't hurt to have lots of tools to help you should you need them

sugarbear1

Not one person has told me I can't drink. I just choose not to.

Congrats on 12 days!

Sapling

I think you're better off listening to your friend in the program than someone that went to one meeting and didn't like it.....Or listen to me....I've been in it for 9 months and it saved my life.....I wouldn't lie to you about that.

Holly7

[QUOTE=Sapling;3339005]I think you're better off listening to your friend in the program than someone that went to one meeting and didn't like it.....Or listen to me....I've been in it for 9 months and it saved my life.....I wouldn't lie to you about that.[/QUOTE

I'm not offering advice sapling. I just said I could relate.

12skiptomylue

Holly, I thought he was talking to me I'm all confused! But I enjoy your thoughts, and I relate to you also.