Jeni26

5th day without the drink and it has been the hardest so far. I feel so scared. Of failing and ending up back where I was, of never having a drink again and losing the person I was cos it wasnt all bad, had some fun times too. Of losing the friendship of my drinking buddies, the relationship changing with my husband cos we've had 21 years together and he has his own issues which he's unprepared to face as yet with alcohol. I don't know where I'd be without this site right now. Probably nearing the end of a bottle of wine in all honesty! Wish I could be different and I could just continue on with my life, minus the hangovers, sickness, hot sweats and shaking that is. Why can't I just drink normally??

Spinach

Hi I know the advice will be see a Dr if you can and that's important.
I remember day 5 was not easy but it did get easier albeit a wobbly easier.
Keep on remembering why your doing it.
To my amazement so many friends I told who are drinking mates have all to a man been positive and made it easy to be with .
Good luck.
John.

Holly7

I struggle with the same question too. I'm so pissed off that I abused my relationship with alcohol and now I can't have any at all. I know I won't drink today and tomorrow will be a better day. It's just really hard some days.

artsoul

Sounds like you're a little overwhelmed with all the "what ifs"......:ghug3 When I feel like that I have to bring myself back to the moment and just deal with today. All our fears are about the future....

Alcohol will tell you that you need it to be happy but you don't have to buy into it. Those old thoughts will come and go and at first they shake you up a lot, but it won't be that way forever, I promise. If you're going through a really intense craving, keep reading posts..... it will bring you back to sanity and remind you that having "just a few drinks" is only going to end badly.

Don't quit now - tomorrow might just be fantastic!

Hevyn

Yes, it is hard to give up something you've leaned on, Holly. I put off quitting for many years because of that. I caused myself so much misery & grief by waiting, though. You are doing the right thing - and it won't always feel this way. It gets much easier as you get the poison out of your system and begin to heal.

Try not to worry about too many things at once. Everything will fall into place as you get well. It's overwhelming to deal with all those emotions - please try to focus on the day you're in. There'll be time for everything else later when you feel stronger. You're not alone in this - we all understand.

Jeni26

Think if Ive learned anything from this site do far it's that neither of us abused our relationship with alcohol, rather than we have a progressive disease that means its impossible to moderate our drinking. I'm scared of not knowing what my future will look like or even who I am sober!!

Sapling

I was scared of that at first too...At 9 months without a drink and the obsession for alcohol lifted....It's like I'm living for the first time since I was a kid....I'm finding out I like myself without alcohol and anything is possible in life if I want it.....It's not bad.

Jeni26

Thank you that was really helpful. I haven't been tempted to give up just wish I had a crystal ball to see into the future so I could really know my future will be better than my past.

IndaMiricale

Oh there is no doubt your days ahead will be hard but so much better.

I used to wish I could drink normal , if I could I would drink everyday. But I lived that over and over to no luck. I am simply can not take the drink because it always takes me.

You can do it.

Dee74

Noone would still be here if our life got worse sober Jeni

My life's nothing like what I used to think it might be sober - but it's about a million times better than it used to be

I know it's scary but try to have a little faith - everything will work out & fall into place if you stick to recovery...just give it a little time

D

Sapling

I think more than anything you'll look back and say...How was I living like that?

leenliz

I'm nearly one year sober and I never look back now. Its good to not wonder where your next pint is coming from.

MarkstheSpot

I feel every single one of those things, J. The last one especially. Like, why didn't I make more effort to drink normally? Maybe I should give it another go, not take my eye off the ball this time? Except... no.

I get what you say about the fun times too. Giving up it feels like I'm saying to my mates, 'You know all those brilliant, fun nights we had? Great, weren't they? Well actually I think they were dirty and wrong.' Of course I'm not really saying that; I'm not disowning all that fun. But it feels like it somehow. It feels like I'm going all holier-than-thou on them.

Eliasson

Oh my goodness your post could've been mine. In fact it probably was mine at some point. I'm 6 days sober this time, and still wish I could drink normally, but the fact is, I don't. My sponsor has told me that yes my relationship with my drinking friends will change. Some may drop by the wayside, a few true friends will still be around, but my relationship with them will look different. I need to be honest with them, ask them not to invite me to drinking events, and come up with non drinking events that we can do together. Also, you will make so many new sober friends. You can't really do anything about your husband except be a good example and hope he will eventually follow suit. All I know is alcohol is out to kill me, I hate myself when I'm drinking, and I want to be the best mother I can be. So I can't drink normally. I'm going to find plenty of other things I can do "normally", and so will you! 5 days is awesome. Keep going. And as my sponsor likes to say "don't quit before the miracle!"

Jeni26

Thank you, that was all really helpful. It's good to know there are people out there who really understand. Think I'm going to take it more slowly and not spend my time unpicking all my emotions which are in turmoil at the moment. Just going to slow down my over active brain, be happy that this is day 6 and I haven't had a drink. Face each new challenge as it comes without anticipating them and working out solutions before they actually happen. I've got such a good life in so many respects and I need to learn how to take pleasure in the small things again.

Spinach

Your life will be so much easier soon. Just keep on keeping off.
You could even enjoy the big things. Drink is a small thing that for some takes over our time ,money and focus.
Day 7 . How's it going.
John.

instant

In the end I just had to accept the way I was built and move on. It was the best move I made.

it is early days. I remember it was all very weird for quite a time. It helps to focus on what is right rather than what is wrong.

I hope you can hang in there. I read the Big Book in my first week. It helped me.

BillyPilgrim

You dont have to think you will never have a drink again, just do like me, I wont have a drink today.
Tomorrow I will think the same thing.
and the day after....

Take things in the early days in manageable chunks, you are changing the behaviour of years, that takes time. You will succeed, and it does get better.

stillsleeping

Nicely put - I totally agree.

But you know, when I relocated across the country a few years ago I was saying goodbye to my whole life, all of my friends and my job. What I took with me was me. And I wasn't saying that I hated my life, or telling my freinds that I thought hanging out with them was rubbish, just that I wanted to try something new, in a different place.

Okay, not a brilliant analogy, but it'll do. I've given up booze. It should never have been my entire focus, the fact that it was wasn't healthy, and I need to find things to replace it. But I refuse to panic over it. I've read around and I can't find many over-a-year-clean people here that regret it and say that a year on, they think they made the wrong decision and are still bored...

x

MarkstheSpot

Heh. Not that they're admitting anyway.