why do people in aa have to say they're alcoholics?
 

ok, so i know that denial is a core issue for problem drinkers. but i don't understand why you have to say "i'm xxx and i'm an alcoholic" at aa meetings. if the only requirement for being in aa is a desire to stop drinking, then logically, people who feel they're beginning to lose control can attend; yet they may not be alcoholic. the stories i hear in aa meetings are not my story. i would feel dishonest saying i am an alcoholic when from every questionnaire i've read, i'm not there. i drink alone, i obsess about it a little when i make myself stop, i medicate myself with it, blah blah. but an alcoholic? did the founders of aa insist that people identify as alcoholics? what about people who are problem drinkers but not addicts? The other issue is that i'm in the process of working with a specialist to help me with bipolar. so this complicates my knowing if i have a growing alcohol problem or am experiencing the effects of my severe daily struggle to live something like a normal life. maybe i just need to work with a counselor. any thoughts from anyone?

zorah

No where does it say you have to say anything. I simply say it cause it true. :)

It is a convenient shorthand , saying I am Alcholic for me says I have a problem with drink. I have not done everything on every list, but I would have got around to doing it eventually if I continued. Dont worry about what you are called, worry about stopping drinking. You dont have to wear a T-shirt announcing it.

The difference between a problem drinker and an Alcoholic is that:

A) When the alcohol is taken away from the problem drinker, the problem goes away.
B) When the alcohol is taken away from the Alcoholic, the problem has just begun.

You will have to decide which one you are...


I was on Lithium in the 70's for Manic/Depression and it didn't help. My Highs/Lows were just my untreated alcoholism.

You sound like you are right in the throes of finding who you really are. Soon, I think, you will discover who rules the roost.... you or the booze.

I wish you the best with your therapists. Looking forward to hearing from you on your recovery.

Bob R


I guess to answer your original question, I say "I'm Bob and I'm an alcoholic" because that's the way it's been from the beginning and I'm not about to judge, question or tear it apart. It works so I won't fix on it.

Is the labelling preventing you from attending AA?

Whether you like the label of 'alcoholic' or not, the solution is the same: stop drinking. If AA can help you with that, then I wouldn't get hung up on semantics.

Be thankful that at this point their stories aren't your stories. But someday they will very likely become your story if you don't address the issue.

What Bob says!

Zorah, I am RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!!! And I have asked the SAME question!!!

I am very hung up on the am I/ am I not question. I have taken pretty much every alcohol assessment online, and they say I have some problematic drinking patterns, but I have not had the experience of most "alcoholics" where they can really relate to most of the items on those questionnaires. I also have a medical/clinical background, so I know all the diagnostic criteria, and such....

This is what I've decided: I have a problem with how I use alcohol, and I am NOT okay with continuing it. I am 12 days completely sober, and like you, it has been "moderately" difficult. So, I went to AA. I asked for help to figure it out. I was very open with the fact that I'm not sure I have a "real" problem, and I'm afraid of wasting people's time, but that I want to figure it out. I got a sponser. I started reading the Big Book. I still just introduce myself by my name only. People seem okay with that. I don't know if that will change if I'm there longer.

I do understand that alcoholism is progressive. I know that it has progressed a little since I took my first drink. It could be a whole lot worse though. My sponser told me the other night, "why don't you try to be grateful that you are not in a place that you are experiencing withdrawals, intense cravings, lost job/family/friends, etc, instead of trying to figure out whether you have a problem or not". That was a shift in thinking. To be grateful for where I am right now, and that I have chosen to stop a pattern that I don't like.

Best of luck to you in figuring out your own answers. Keep doing what feels honest to you.

Glad to see you are sorting things skip. Tshirts don't matter recovery does

None of us is the same. Good thing..lol.. I think it really is all about being humble and saying for me I am powerless over it. However that looks.
AG

You don't have to say it, and personally, I advise against it. It does not appear to have been the custom originally. I have listened to recorded AA talks from the 1950's, and have yet to find one where someone says "Hi, I'm Bob, and I'm an alcoholic." I've previously asked AA's to send me a recording of someone saying this from that era if they know of one, but that has yet to happen. If anyone has one, do let me know.

I was told, recently, by a really old-timer (40+ years sober in AA) that self-identifying wasn't a practice in the beginning of AA. The stigma of being an alcoholic was so profound, then, that anonymity was a supremely important concept. Also, in the very beginning, your sponsor was the member who actually got you into the meeting. They were sort of clandestine and held in members homes. The role of sponsor has evolved, over the years, into a kind of spirit guide/confessor.

Lots of things have crept in that aren't in the book. 90 in 90, for example. It's not in the book but I wouldn't say it's a bad idea.

Personally, I have no problem saying, "I'm XXX and I'm an alcoholic." because I am "XXX" and I am, most assuredly, an alcoholic. Likewise, I haven't got a problem with people who fail to self-identify. I feel badly when one of the AA Police bark, "Who are you?" at some poor guy who's in a meeting hoping to unscramble his brain. I don't know if these are folks who put conventions over compassion or if they enjoy that little bit of empowerment.

For me, it's helpful to separate the process from the meetings. I've found the principals of AA provide me with an excellent framework for living a sober, productive and gentle life. I've also found that there are as many kooks in AA as there are outside of it.

A meeting is the hour a day I dedicate to maintaining my sobriety. Sometimes it's a very enlightening hour. Sometimes it's a very tedious hour, but even in a tedious meeting, I'm learning to better exercise my patience.

Things progress over time. We have stayed true to almost everything. But they didnt have sober coins in the 40's either. But we do today, thanks to Sister Ignatia. :)

Hi Zorah (and Skip),

I've never heard where you have to say you're an alcoholic, especially in open meetings (which in my area are most of the meetings). When I first started I just said my name. You could also say you have issues with alcohol, you're a problem drinker, you're not sure, etc. In my experience, no matter what anyone says they are always greeted and welcomed.

As far as determining whether or not you are... I struggled with this and honestly I myself don't label it "alcoholic" really, I just know that I have issues with alcohol and that is enough for me to not drink and to work on myself. I first went to AA at my counselor's suggestion. I told her (not even completely honestly, just some of the stuff) some of the issues I was having/ my worries about perhaps drinking too much, and she said she didn't think I was an alcoholic but I could be headed down that road if I didn't make some changes. She suggested I check out AA and see what it's about and if it could help me. I remember for a long time wondering what she meant about not being an alcoholic but being headed down that road... I've come to decide that she meant it's a progressive disease and a slippery slope. Many "hard-core" stereotype alcoholics were at one time social, casual drinkers, then problem drinkers etc. And the stereotypical hard-care alcoholic isn't the only kind of "alcoholic" there is. IMO if alcohol is having a negative impact on your life, it is causing you problems and if AA helps you then you should keep going back and don't let what you call/label yourself get in the way.

For me now I almost welcome the chance to say I'm an alcoholic because, as you mentioned, denial is a big part of the disease and so many times I feel my mind slipping back into thinking "I'm fine, I don't have a problem." So I need to stay connected to AA and I need to keep admitting to myself that I am powerless over alcohol, because I know, when I'm rational about it, that I really am. To me being an alcoholic is about the way that alcohol affects me -- it doesn't mean I'm a bad person or weak etc., it just means that some people can drink alcohol and live a normal life and not be obsessed with it but for me it doesn't work that way. It affects me negatively and becomes the focus of my life and my negative coping mechanism. So I am really grateful I have a place I can go full of people who understand.

Best wishes to both of you. I wish you well on your journey. :)

You don't have to say it...I have a guy in my HG that says...I'm **** and I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous....He has a desire to stop drinking and he has for 9 years...I only say it because I am one.

I used to think that i was an alcoholic and by medical definition I probably am but anymore I don't consider that to be the case. Do I have a problem with alcohol? No because I don't drink anymore. DID I have a problem with alcohol? Very much so, yes. I think that the deffinition of alcoholic is all in the eye of the beholder, and right now that beholder is you. Do you consider yourself to be an alcoholic or not?

Personaly I think that I just got in the habit of drinking on a daily basis because I am slothful and it was an easy way to feel good and entertain myself. I became addicted to a habit an easy way out of reality. Was i physcialy dependent? Meh that depends as well, i didn't die during my first few days so dependent might be a strong word. But at the same time it wasn't fun and easy, and it took me a while to get out of the habit. Now if someone asked me if I was an alcoholis I would say no, but I would add that I quit drinking because me and alcohol get along way too well and I could easily have become one given enought time.

Just for the record I am only "dry" two weeks but have no intention of picking up ever again, becasuse I recognized that it was causing problems in my life and saw where I was headed with my alcohol use and it wasn't pretty. I have also never been to AA, so don't know the protocol. I would say that quiting while the quitin's good is a good thing and if AA helps with that good. But also if you have problems with the label then either change the label to suit your prefferences or don't use one at all, if you group dosen't like that find one that does, or at least doesn't mind.

I don't really get why this has to be debated till it's painful...How dead can the horse get?

I have also heard people say "Hi, I'm XXX and I am powerless of alcohol".

I hear that a lot too....Whats the issue again?

This answer may stir controversy, but I think it's important to put it out there.

If I can't personally help someone "qualify" him or herself, I suggest going to an open meeting (or several open meetings) to see if he or she can relate. If so, great -- you're probably alcoholic and in the right place. If you can't relate, or if you believe yourself not to be alcoholic, you probably don't need AA. And, if you're not alcoholic and can stay sober by some other means than the steps, those in the rooms probably won't be able to relate to you. Worse, if you're not alcoholic and you're sharing some other means you use to stay sober, you can adversely influence the newcomer looking for an easier, softer way.

Go, read the book, talk to another alcoholic, listen to people sharing. If you decide you're an alcoholic, great. Stick around and we'll help you. If you decide you're not alcoholic, why would you want to spend your time in AA?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Maybe they have the only requirement needed to join.