Just got out of the hospital, ready to become sober
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 106
Hi Corgidad. Welcome and congratulations on your decision towards a healtier, sober lifestyle.
As others have suggested, go to several AA meetings. In the beginning, I went to over 100 meetings in my first 90 days. After a week I had already found the meetings where I connected the most and at 8 months sober I still attend them daily.
These people have become great friends and I look forward to going to meetings. I even attend meetings when I am traveling out of town, which is quite often for my work.
In the beginning the thought of attending so many meetings sounds daunting but as I said, it quickly becomes something you look forward to.
I am 36 yrs old, and like you, my wife is very supportive. Explain your feelings to her, let her know how much you love her and appreciate her support. It sounds like she is behind you and this will be a tremendous help in your recovery. I wouldn't worry to much about relying on her for too much help, Just remember that you are recovering for yourself. A better you will make for a better husband and a better life.
Also, if it becomes too difficult in the coming weeks, don't rule out the possibility of inpatient rehab. I went to rehab for two weeks and the seperation from the real world worked wonders for my sobriety, similar to the experience you felt while detoxing in the hospital. In my opinion though, if you attend as many meetings as possible, find the ones you like, get yourself a sponsor and work the program (work the steps with your sponsor) you will be fine.
I have been sober 8 months and because of AA and working the steps with my sponsor, I very rarely even have a craving. When I do it is never a consideration to drink, merely a thought.
Don't dwell on the past or the future, right now just focus on not drinking today and finding meetings that fit you. And there is always this website, which is also a fantastic tool.
Feel free to send me a private message if you have any specific questions.
COngratulations once again on your new beginning!
As others have suggested, go to several AA meetings. In the beginning, I went to over 100 meetings in my first 90 days. After a week I had already found the meetings where I connected the most and at 8 months sober I still attend them daily.
These people have become great friends and I look forward to going to meetings. I even attend meetings when I am traveling out of town, which is quite often for my work.
In the beginning the thought of attending so many meetings sounds daunting but as I said, it quickly becomes something you look forward to.
I am 36 yrs old, and like you, my wife is very supportive. Explain your feelings to her, let her know how much you love her and appreciate her support. It sounds like she is behind you and this will be a tremendous help in your recovery. I wouldn't worry to much about relying on her for too much help, Just remember that you are recovering for yourself. A better you will make for a better husband and a better life.
Also, if it becomes too difficult in the coming weeks, don't rule out the possibility of inpatient rehab. I went to rehab for two weeks and the seperation from the real world worked wonders for my sobriety, similar to the experience you felt while detoxing in the hospital. In my opinion though, if you attend as many meetings as possible, find the ones you like, get yourself a sponsor and work the program (work the steps with your sponsor) you will be fine.
I have been sober 8 months and because of AA and working the steps with my sponsor, I very rarely even have a craving. When I do it is never a consideration to drink, merely a thought.
Don't dwell on the past or the future, right now just focus on not drinking today and finding meetings that fit you. And there is always this website, which is also a fantastic tool.
Feel free to send me a private message if you have any specific questions.
COngratulations once again on your new beginning!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Dee74 
just head for the nearest soonest meeting
D
D
All the best.
Bob R
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Try any meeting. Each group is self supporting and "governs" itself. All kinds exist. Just try one. I can hit the same meeting every week and it's different. Do whatever it takes to stay stopped!
I wish you well,
I wish you well,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 234
Wow this sounds like a though story. I can certainly relate. You should probably have a follow up doctor's appointment from getting out of the hospital. Just be honest about your problem during the appointment. I'm sure the doctor will have some recommendations.
You could start with AA meetings for your recovery. AA is certainly not for everyone. Nor does it work for everyone. I wish someone had told me that for my own recovery. There are many other options available out there. Just do a little research and find what works for you. Best of luck to you.
You could start with AA meetings for your recovery. AA is certainly not for everyone. Nor does it work for everyone. I wish someone had told me that for my own recovery. There are many other options available out there. Just do a little research and find what works for you. Best of luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by keepfinding2
You could start with AA meetings for your recovery. AA is certainly not for everyone. Nor does it work for everyone.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Originally Posted by CorgiDad
What can I do? I looked at AA's website and found all of the meetings in my area, but there are so many. How do I know which one is right for me? I am a twenty-four year old by the way. How much should I rely on the support of my wife? I know that she's more than eager to help, but what if I start to depend so much on her that it might actually harm her or our relationship? Is that even possible?
Originally Posted by keepfinding2
AA is certainly not for everyone. Nor does it work for everyone. I wish someone had told me that for my own recovery. There are many other options available out there. Just do a little research and find what works for you. Best of luck to you.
Anyway, I had the same problems with the numerous AA mtg listings and finally just dove in. I found one a block from my work and go on my lunch hour. At first I'd just sit in the back. I never talked, just listened. It really, really helped. I now have several friends from there and that's what leads me to my next paragraph about your wife...
I too was worried about my DH (dear husband). I was pretty honest with him, told him what I was doing. And then I made sure to do what I said I'd do. I talk to him often about how I'm feeling, and it seems to keep things good between us. I didn't want to rely on him too much, and since he really can't fully understand what I'm going through, I decided to find sober friends. So sometimes I rely on them when I feel that I need to talk to them about something only they can understand. It's sort of a balance for me. I'm bluntly honest with my DH when it comes to social events or situations we will be in that involve alcohol.
The last thing I'll say about my past almost 90 months of sobriety is that planning things really helped me. I calendared a variety of meetings, on my calendar at work and my cell phone. I went to them. I also calendared a variety of other things to do, whether it be a class at the gym or just a reminder to take a walk. And then...when I was tired I let myself be tired. I'm still sticking with this BTW, and it's working very well.
Good luck and hope to see you more on the boards.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by CorgiDad
While I was recovering in the hospital, I was amped about getting help. Counselng, AA, church, etc. But when I got home, it suddenly got real. I was no longer in the safety of the hospital, I was out in the real world again. Every other thought that went through my mind was along the lines of "good God, could I use some scotch." I came close to having a panic attack.
I could have thought "I sure could use a drink right now". Instead I got angry at the fact that my years of abuse had brought me to a point in my life where I'm this out of control at times.
But I was worse last week. And worse the week before that. And worse the month before that. And unlike the times when I was drinking, those temporary hardships are interspersed by moments of true joy. And hope.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel for you, my friend. The initial feelings of confidence and enthusiasm don't last long. Then the hard work begins. Understand that. This isn't supposed to be easy. But it is doable.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Welcome, sounds like we drank a lot alike.
Going soon after your awful experience at the hospital is a good idea, otherwise it's common for an alcoholic to quickly forget how rough it was and change their decision to go to AA to something easier, because doing AA requires some time and ongoing effort to be effective.
Go early and shake some hands and let them know you're new. Plan on getting to talk to some sober people before and after who haven't drank for a long time, and who often tried everything they could think of to stay sober and failed before doing all the AA stuff. Part of what allows people to remain sober is giving help freely to new people who want help staying sober, so there's nothing due from you in return for the help you get from them at all.
If you get an offer to go to coffee and talk after the meeting, take it.
I went first at 21, didn't do any of the program until 28, stayed sober since then because the people who I'd heard say for 6 plus years that doing that particular stuff worked were correct. Not doing all of it is a waste of time.
Going soon after your awful experience at the hospital is a good idea, otherwise it's common for an alcoholic to quickly forget how rough it was and change their decision to go to AA to something easier, because doing AA requires some time and ongoing effort to be effective.
Go early and shake some hands and let them know you're new. Plan on getting to talk to some sober people before and after who haven't drank for a long time, and who often tried everything they could think of to stay sober and failed before doing all the AA stuff. Part of what allows people to remain sober is giving help freely to new people who want help staying sober, so there's nothing due from you in return for the help you get from them at all.
If you get an offer to go to coffee and talk after the meeting, take it.
I went first at 21, didn't do any of the program until 28, stayed sober since then because the people who I'd heard say for 6 plus years that doing that particular stuff worked were correct. Not doing all of it is a waste of time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Hi, it's great that you're making this change! You will not regret it!! I recommend trying all different AA meetings to meet a lot of people and get a feel for different meetings; you will eventually find one or more that really work for you.
I have a corgi mix; corgis are awesome. The one in your picture is adorable.
Best wishes to you -- you can do this and we are here to help.
I have a corgi mix; corgis are awesome. The one in your picture is adorable.
Best wishes to you -- you can do this and we are here to help.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Unionville, PA
Posts: 141
You might of just caused me to quit, having a seizure is a huge fear for me
Im a 28 year old male, been to a couple different AA meetings, the one I went to was very good... mostly adults and the other meeting I went to was a bunch of teenagers smoking cigarets and going there because it was mandatory... So I guess its just trial and error...
As far as your wife thats a tough one, with the girls I have been with I would keep it a secret but I have no idea what its like to be married.,,, maybe someone else could chime in on that
Matt
Im a 28 year old male, been to a couple different AA meetings, the one I went to was very good... mostly adults and the other meeting I went to was a bunch of teenagers smoking cigarets and going there because it was mandatory... So I guess its just trial and error...
As far as your wife thats a tough one, with the girls I have been with I would keep it a secret but I have no idea what its like to be married.,,, maybe someone else could chime in on that
Matt
Originally Posted by CorgiDad
Hello everyone, my name is Peter.
Like the thread title says, I was just discharged from the hospital this afternoon. Last Saturday night I continued my nearly nightly ritual of binge drinking by breaking into a 12 bottle pack of beer (after I had drank about an entire bottle of wine earlier). I remember about half a dozen of those beers before I blacked out. When I started regaining consciousness, I realized that I was in the emergency room. Well, it turns out that during my blackout I had had a seizure. I have no history of epilepsy, so it's pretty safe to say that the alcohol was the culprit. My wife found me at about 5AM Sunday morning lying in my own waste and called 911. My binge drinking has been going on for about 6 months and had been gradually getting worse with each passing day. Considering these recent events I can definitely say that I've reached rock bottom. Sorry about the rant, it just really seems to help to talk about it.
While I was recovering in the hospital, I was amped about getting help. Counselng, AA, church, etc. But when I got home, it suddenly got real. I was no longer in the safety of the hospital, I was out in the real world again. Every other thought that went through my mind was along the lines of "good God, could I use some scotch." I came close to having a panic attack. I think the only thing getting me through this ordeal is the support of my loving wife whom I can only thank God for being here with me. Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was really easy to talk about getting help while I was in the hospital, but now since I'm out definitely looking to be a whole lot harder than what I had anticipated.
So...
What can I do? I looked at AA's website and found all of the meetings in my area, but there are so many. How do I know which one is right for me? I am a twenty-four year old by the way. How much should I rely on the support of my wife? I know that she's more than eager to help, but what if I start to depend so much on her that it might actually harm her or our relationship? Is that even possible? I'm just super overwhelmed right now and could really use a helpful nudge towards the direction of sobriety.
Anyway, sorry about the novel just now. Thank you in advance for any wisdom you have for me.
Like the thread title says, I was just discharged from the hospital this afternoon. Last Saturday night I continued my nearly nightly ritual of binge drinking by breaking into a 12 bottle pack of beer (after I had drank about an entire bottle of wine earlier). I remember about half a dozen of those beers before I blacked out. When I started regaining consciousness, I realized that I was in the emergency room. Well, it turns out that during my blackout I had had a seizure. I have no history of epilepsy, so it's pretty safe to say that the alcohol was the culprit. My wife found me at about 5AM Sunday morning lying in my own waste and called 911. My binge drinking has been going on for about 6 months and had been gradually getting worse with each passing day. Considering these recent events I can definitely say that I've reached rock bottom. Sorry about the rant, it just really seems to help to talk about it.
While I was recovering in the hospital, I was amped about getting help. Counselng, AA, church, etc. But when I got home, it suddenly got real. I was no longer in the safety of the hospital, I was out in the real world again. Every other thought that went through my mind was along the lines of "good God, could I use some scotch." I came close to having a panic attack. I think the only thing getting me through this ordeal is the support of my loving wife whom I can only thank God for being here with me. Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was really easy to talk about getting help while I was in the hospital, but now since I'm out definitely looking to be a whole lot harder than what I had anticipated.
So...
What can I do? I looked at AA's website and found all of the meetings in my area, but there are so many. How do I know which one is right for me? I am a twenty-four year old by the way. How much should I rely on the support of my wife? I know that she's more than eager to help, but what if I start to depend so much on her that it might actually harm her or our relationship? Is that even possible? I'm just super overwhelmed right now and could really use a helpful nudge towards the direction of sobriety.
Anyway, sorry about the novel just now. Thank you in advance for any wisdom you have for me.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by Flyersfan
You might of just caused me to quit, having a seizure is a huge fear for me
After less than 24 hours as a member, I've already learned that SR is a wonderful place to get support. Good luck and God bless!
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 25
Hello again everyone,
I thought that I would give everyone an update. I am now two days sober, going on three.
Despite the sobriety, today has super sucked for the most part. It seems like everywhere I go, I see something that reminds me of alcohol. It's almost as if it's doing it on purpose to taunt me. I have been irritable and pissy for most of the day. The grocery store had a stockpile of wine as an impulse buy item near the register and I could think was, "holy crap, I could drink about 3 of those bottles right now." Fortunately, I took my mind off it by bagging the groceries while humming the tetris theme. Whatever works I guess.
Luckily there's a happy ending today for me. I just got back from a strenuous bike ride and now I feel amazing! I haven't felt this good since before I started drinking. Yay endorphins! Tonight I'm going to my first AA meeting and I have to say that I am excited for it.
I am so grateful for all of your responses since my initial post. SR and its members are the best. I can beat this addiction. Scratch that, I will beat this addiction.
P.S. I appreciate all the comments on my corgi (her name is Gadget). I'm sure that if she could hear them in person, she would absolutely eat them up.
I thought that I would give everyone an update. I am now two days sober, going on three.
Despite the sobriety, today has super sucked for the most part. It seems like everywhere I go, I see something that reminds me of alcohol. It's almost as if it's doing it on purpose to taunt me. I have been irritable and pissy for most of the day. The grocery store had a stockpile of wine as an impulse buy item near the register and I could think was, "holy crap, I could drink about 3 of those bottles right now." Fortunately, I took my mind off it by bagging the groceries while humming the tetris theme. Whatever works I guess.
Luckily there's a happy ending today for me. I just got back from a strenuous bike ride and now I feel amazing! I haven't felt this good since before I started drinking. Yay endorphins! Tonight I'm going to my first AA meeting and I have to say that I am excited for it.
I am so grateful for all of your responses since my initial post. SR and its members are the best. I can beat this addiction. Scratch that, I will beat this addiction.
P.S. I appreciate all the comments on my corgi (her name is Gadget). I'm sure that if she could hear them in person, she would absolutely eat them up.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
It's like after I had an accident with my blazer. Everywhere I went, I saw a blazer, same color, same year. This will pass. Focus on staying stopped. Remember it's now about your health! Keep strong and do something different...change your "routine" and see what happens!
AA meetings are an option so you can talk to people like us on SR in person. Even the book Alcoholics Anonymous says it's not for all people nor is it the only way to stay stopped. For those of us who do work the steps, it works quite well. For others, there are other options other than drinking. Whatever you choose, do it well. As if your life depended upon it (mine does).
Early recovery has it's ups and downs. It's a healing process. We didn't get here overnight, so don't expect to have everything changed overnight. It's slow, so give time time. It will all be different and better! Get to day 5 and feel good about what you are doing for you and for your family and those pups!
Best wishes,
AA meetings are an option so you can talk to people like us on SR in person. Even the book Alcoholics Anonymous says it's not for all people nor is it the only way to stay stopped. For those of us who do work the steps, it works quite well. For others, there are other options other than drinking. Whatever you choose, do it well. As if your life depended upon it (mine does).
Early recovery has it's ups and downs. It's a healing process. We didn't get here overnight, so don't expect to have everything changed overnight. It's slow, so give time time. It will all be different and better! Get to day 5 and feel good about what you are doing for you and for your family and those pups!
Best wishes,
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome CorgiDad and congrats on day 2! I'm impressed - I didn't do anything the first few days except stay in bed with my laptop on SR! I thought about drinking 24/7 at first...... when I finally ventured out after about 5 days, I was driving along and noticed a huge beer ad on a billboard. It hit me like an electric shock!
Don't worry if the first days or even weeks are bumpy - it's really common to have insomnia, irritability and restlessness. I think my mood changed every 5 minutes. The obsessive thoughts took the longest for me but I got to the point where I didn't think about it at all. Good to have you with us!
Don't worry if the first days or even weeks are bumpy - it's really common to have insomnia, irritability and restlessness. I think my mood changed every 5 minutes. The obsessive thoughts took the longest for me but I got to the point where I didn't think about it at all. Good to have you with us!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 135
You are blessed with a good wife, do it for her.
You are so young so that altering your lifestyle will have unbelievable benefits.
Do not wait until it is too late.
Do whatever it takes to change your life.
Being in a marriage with a supportive wife...... worth every minute....
You are so young so that altering your lifestyle will have unbelievable benefits.
Do not wait until it is too late.
Do whatever it takes to change your life.
Being in a marriage with a supportive wife...... worth every minute....
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