Eliasson

So I've already said that I "slipped", and feel so much shame about that. I have to tell my sponsor tonight and am afraid she will fire me. Many of you know that in addition to alcoholism, I have lupus. Last week I had a lupus seizure. All I remember is a sharp pain in my head and then coming in and out of consciousness for 2 days, first in the hospital, and then at home. I don't remember much from those couple of days, but was filled in on one incident today. My best friend (a nurse) stopped by to check on me. I was alone and still very out of it (why I was left alone is a question I can't answer). She said I was drinking sangria, tho I do not remember this, and offered her one. She said she saw me take my pain meds (dilaudid-prescribed for lupus), that I was incoherent, asked the same unintelligible question over and over, fell asleep sitting up mid-sentence. Oh my God! Isn't this how Anna Nicole Smith, Whitney Houston and many others have DIED?! Is this a good enough wake up call for me? Will that Addictive Voice finally stop telling me I can be normal and drink in moderation?! Am I done yet?! Please help me.

Sapling

Yeah...I'd say you're done...And you better quit doing what you're doing before you end up like those other people...First thing you do...Get that idea out of your head that says you''ll ever drink like a normal person...And then get busy on some kind of recovery program...

Blowfish

Hi Eli. Sadly we all have had at least one "wake up call" to scare us badly enough to take some action. It seems to me like you really want to get straight so my advice for right now is: get any booze you might still have out of your house. You don't need that temptation when you are trying to stop. Try to get to an AA meeting. I don't know anything about lupus so I really cant help there, sorry about that. But just get rid of your booze and make sobriety a priority is a good start. Cheers

Anna

Hi Eliasson,

I hope that you make the decision to stop drinking and to take care of your health. There is lots of support here.

tanja

Eliasson,

I would use that experience as a wake-up call. Fear can be a powerful motivator. Your not alone. We are here to support you in your sobriety. Most of us have faced terrifying consequences due to our alcohol abuse. Be honest with your sponsor. If she does fire you (and I don't think she will) you can find another sponsor. Take it one day at a time and post as often as you can. Make recovery your full-time job for now. Believe in yourself and avail yourself of any support methods that you can. Never, Ever Give up!

2granddaughters

Eliasson, You said "Please help me"...... I strongly suggest you tell your Dr. exactly what's going on and get your behind to AA.

Now, just do it.

Bob

eddie73

hi there Eliasson,

Keep going to meetings. Your sponsor will not fire you. I think that u need to hear the message again and again from other people, recovery and hard luck stories in equal measures. There is no escaping the truth that this thing is a fatal disease.

I heard a man sharing at the weekend that he is back drinking after 16 months of sobriety. he is prone to seizures, yet despite this is continuing to drink. It is like watching a game of roulette. It is when you see someone else in this situation, you begin to see that it is a very ugly scene indeed. If you rely on your own experience of relapse, it will seem less harmful. Good luck