I knew I had a problem and still do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 14
I knew I had a problem and still do.
After years of denial, and what I thought of as control, I began losing control. I just retired from a successful career a year and half ago, enjoyed great health, great friends, three wonderfully loving and successful daughters, a new marriage to a woman who really loves me, and yet, things started to get crazy. While always a social drinker, about 4 yrs ago I began taking small amts of vicodin, just to give me a little tweek, and when I ran out of the pills, I started to drink more and more. I was never a fall down drunk, never had a dwi, no one even suspected anything. Since retirement, I began to sneak a drink straight out of the bottle whenever I needed a boost and my needs began to become increasingly more frequent as time went on. To keep it short, my wife started to notice how when we had friends over, I was constantly filling my glass even when everyone else wasn't, then I had a secret stash of Vodka I kept in the garage freezer (which was full of cold beer), I started making frequent trips out there and on many occasions I would think "I must be an alcoholic, but I can handle it"...
Just about 10 days ago, my brother's paid me a visit to see my new home, and while I always considered them to be the heavy drinkers, it was an eye opener, to discover that I was the one who needed to drink more and more.
I started to think of how pathetic I had become, in the garage, quickly drinking out of my freezer stash, and how it was becoming more and more frequent.
I realized that I have a problem and could not control it, so I decided to do something drastic...I admitted my problem to my wife, who was shocked, but very supportive. I decided that, since I could not control it, I had to stop it. So my new life began 6 days ago, with some very anxious moments in the beginning but after discovering this site along with other helpful information, I feel like I have a fighting chance to survive...maybe the next big step for me is AA.
Just about 10 days ago, my brother's paid me a visit to see my new home, and while I always considered them to be the heavy drinkers, it was an eye opener, to discover that I was the one who needed to drink more and more.
I started to think of how pathetic I had become, in the garage, quickly drinking out of my freezer stash, and how it was becoming more and more frequent.
I realized that I have a problem and could not control it, so I decided to do something drastic...I admitted my problem to my wife, who was shocked, but very supportive. I decided that, since I could not control it, I had to stop it. So my new life began 6 days ago, with some very anxious moments in the beginning but after discovering this site along with other helpful information, I feel like I have a fighting chance to survive...maybe the next big step for me is AA.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
Congratulations! I realized I was an alcoholic and wanted to quit because I was coming up on retirement and knew that would be dangerous if I kept drinking. I tried everything: medications (Campral, Naltrexone, Antabuse), outpatient rehab (2X), AA (almost continuously), therapy (3 different therapists), inpatient rehab (2X) and the compulsion won. Fortunatly I was listening and taking notes at the inpatieint rehabs and by going back over my notes and using those tools, continuing to go to meetings daily, having a full schedule of things to do for tomorrow before I went to bed, remembering the pain, and thinking of things to be grateful for, I am finally making progress against this obsession.
If I can do it, you can too. It's work but so very worth it. You get your life back. Hold Fast.
If I can do it, you can too. It's work but so very worth it. You get your life back. Hold Fast.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
You have more than just a chance now, 26thw. Admitting you have a problem and then putting down the drink are huge steps. Six days is tremendous ... it gets better from there.
I do recommend AA or another program to give you the tools to stay sober. I love AA and the face to face support has helped me a lot. You will also get a lot of support here at SR so keep coming back! We're glad you're here, and congratulations on your first steps toward a sober new life.
I do recommend AA or another program to give you the tools to stay sober. I love AA and the face to face support has helped me a lot. You will also get a lot of support here at SR so keep coming back! We're glad you're here, and congratulations on your first steps toward a sober new life.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Welcome!
Good for you for admitting that alcohol had begun to control your life. I can remember that awful feeling of spiralling downward and having no idea what to do about it. There is lots of support and information here, so keep reading and posting.
Good for you for admitting that alcohol had begun to control your life. I can remember that awful feeling of spiralling downward and having no idea what to do about it. There is lots of support and information here, so keep reading and posting.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Welcome aboard like desertsong said admitting and putting it down is the biggest steps.
I also use AA and now would not be here without it, I so look forward to going the friends I have made and the common bond is just so powerful.
Best wishes and keep us posted
I also use AA and now would not be here without it, I so look forward to going the friends I have made and the common bond is just so powerful.
Best wishes and keep us posted
26th! Glad you found us and MORE glad you've decided to quit drinking. That's a huge step in the right direction. I hope you stay with us and can find a way to stay sober and happy. Best of luck to you!! 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I did a brunch today for family and visiting relatives....I made the food and the Bloody Mary mix....Mine was great...I just didn't put any Vodka in it. Good job 26...It sucks when you get to hiding alcohol...But you're not alone here in that department.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
Originally Posted by 26thw 
Just returned from a Sunday Brunch with some friends, they had Bloody Mary's I had iced tea!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Good for you, 26thw, to realize you have this issue and to start helping yourself address it. So many people don't do that until it's too late or at least until they've had serious consequences. But you have noticed that the consequences you're facing have been enough for you to want to change, and that's huge.
I have found AA to be very helpful. There is a mix of people as alcoholism affects all of us, no matter our age, social status, gender, race, etc. For me it has been a very supportive place full of people who understand what I'm going through, who are facing the same thing and who are eager to provide help and support. SR is also very helpful too. Best wishes to you on your new journey. You won't regret embarking on it!
I have found AA to be very helpful. There is a mix of people as alcoholism affects all of us, no matter our age, social status, gender, race, etc. For me it has been a very supportive place full of people who understand what I'm going through, who are facing the same thing and who are eager to provide help and support. SR is also very helpful too.
Best wishes to you on your new journey. You won't regret embarking on it!
give yourself a pat on the back!
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