Relapsed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
Relapsed
Well, what can I say? You guys were right. I was making excuses to not go to meetings and I decided to drink. And it was awful. I picked up a white chip today. I am going to:
Do whatever my sponsor tells me to do
Do 90 in 90
Start back at step 1 and work with her at least once week
It is blatantly obvious that I cannot manage my own life. I am lucky I am not in jail or dead.
I didn't have the DTs, just extreme anxiety and a sour stomach. The anxiety was REALLY bad. I thought I was going to die.
I really appreciate you guys being here and telling me what I need to be told.
Do whatever my sponsor tells me to do
Do 90 in 90
Start back at step 1 and work with her at least once week
It is blatantly obvious that I cannot manage my own life. I am lucky I am not in jail or dead.
I didn't have the DTs, just extreme anxiety and a sour stomach. The anxiety was REALLY bad. I thought I was going to die.
I really appreciate you guys being here and telling me what I need to be told.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
Thank you guys so much.
It amazes me how I thought I knew it all. I don't. I need to get back to basics and STAY in the basics. Being reasonably intelligent can be a liability.
I am just blessed that nothing horrible happened.
It amazes me how I thought I knew it all. I don't. I need to get back to basics and STAY in the basics. Being reasonably intelligent can be a liability.
I am just blessed that nothing horrible happened.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Present Moment
Posts: 646
Elizabeth, I remember when I had that moment of "that's it"....and I knew I meant it. Sounds like this might be "it" for you.
That moment for me was almost a year ago. I meant it and I took action. Action is vital.
Glad you have a plan. You can do this.
That moment for me was almost a year ago. I meant it and I took action. Action is vital.
Glad you have a plan. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
turned out that all i "really" knew how to do was drink [and use] -didn't know diddley 'bout staying clean and sober.
Seemed like those folk in AA/NA knew something i didn't.
thought i'd give it my best shot
And it worked.
Glad you made it back in to the rooms.
Seemed like those folk in AA/NA knew something i didn't.
thought i'd give it my best shot
And it worked.
Glad you made it back in to the rooms.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 96
Hi,
It happens ... slips are part of the process sometimes, the main thing is don;t beat yourself up over it. It is in the past and you have a plan and direction to lead you back to sobriety.
One of the many great things about AA is that no one judges and they are ALWAYS happy to see you no matter how much or how long you have slipped .. I know, I have done it.
Take heart, take one day as it comes .... the journey gets easier ....
Be well and all the best
It happens ... slips are part of the process sometimes, the main thing is don;t beat yourself up over it. It is in the past and you have a plan and direction to lead you back to sobriety.
One of the many great things about AA is that no one judges and they are ALWAYS happy to see you no matter how much or how long you have slipped .. I know, I have done it.
Take heart, take one day as it comes .... the journey gets easier ....
Be well and all the best
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Elisabeth888 
Well, what can I say? You guys were right. I was making excuses to not go to meetings and I decided to drink. And it was awful. I picked up a white chip today. I am going to:
Do whatever my sponsor tells me to do
Do 90 in 90
Start back at step 1 and work with her at least once week
It is blatantly obvious that I cannot manage my own life. I am lucky I am not in jail or dead.
I didn't have the DTs, just extreme anxiety and a sour stomach. The anxiety was REALLY bad. I thought I was going to die.
I really appreciate you guys being here and telling me what I need to be told.
Do whatever my sponsor tells me to do
Do 90 in 90
Start back at step 1 and work with her at least once week
It is blatantly obvious that I cannot manage my own life. I am lucky I am not in jail or dead.
I didn't have the DTs, just extreme anxiety and a sour stomach. The anxiety was REALLY bad. I thought I was going to die.
I really appreciate you guys being here and telling me what I need to be told.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Elisabeth))) - when I first got clean, I thought I knew it all. I'd been lurking here for, probably a couple of years. Wrong. I relapsed, felt lower than a snakes belly, but I finally started doing what others had recommended. Finally signed on here at 6 months clean..first forum I'd ever been on.
I'm not GLAD I relapsed, but I realize it was something I had to go through before I finally accepted...I didn't know it all, I didn't want to continue my life as it was, and I was absolutely desparate for a way out. The great folks here provided that...some things I read here worked, some didn't, but I just recently passed 5 years in recovery and it's mainly because of the people here.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I'm not GLAD I relapsed, but I realize it was something I had to go through before I finally accepted...I didn't know it all, I didn't want to continue my life as it was, and I was absolutely desparate for a way out. The great folks here provided that...some things I read here worked, some didn't, but I just recently passed 5 years in recovery and it's mainly because of the people here.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Elizabeth, it gets better with time. I too am lucky I'm not dead or in jail. AA and SR are 2 reasons I'm 1 year 9 months sober and 6 months off crack. Hang here as much as possible, plenty of people care and know how to help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
I have had my arse kicked for sure. I have been trying to stay sober for 3 years. I am so sick of relapsing. But it is me. I am the problem.
I have to accept that I am going to be uncomfortable. Of course, being drunk for a week and not taking my meds has not helped the situation.
I have to accept that I am going to be uncomfortable. Of course, being drunk for a week and not taking my meds has not helped the situation.
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