Armywife925

Everyone I've asked turns me down. Am I not desperate enough? I have the willingness to do them which is part of the reason I'm still sober. I went to a meeting last night and they said to get through them ASAP because the more you do them the less likely you are to drink. I cannot remember the last time I spoke to my sponsor on the phone, let alone worked a step. I asked people to be my temp and they turn me down. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought people were supposed to welcome you w big arms if your counting days. I know I can't go through my 4th step alone but I'm getting extremely frustrated. Tried praying to a hp and it doesn't work, I've been saying 3rd step prayer every morning and night and nothing. I don't go to city meetings anymore (in NY) so I'm left w Westchester. I'm really at the end of my wits w people.

Sapling

When was the last time you called?

Armywife925

Called yesterday at 11:52am and the whole day I didn't get a callback.

desertsong

Not everyone wants to be a sponsor. At the beginning of your meetings, the chair should be asking if there is anyone who wants to be a sponsor; those who are willing will raise their hands. If there is anyone raising their hand who you think might make a good sponsor, ask them after the meeting.

Sapling

When was the last time before that?....I mean...If you say you can't remember when the last time you spoke to your sponsor was...Maybe she moved on and is helping someone else. A sponsor is a guide to help you work the steps....That's it. They can't work them for you. You say everyone you asks turns you down....There has to be a reason for that. Do you go to meetings often?...Have you read the book...?....Do you have a homegroup?...Do you do service work there?...I just have a hard time seeing how nobody will sponsor you if you are willing to do the work. I haven't seen that.

ACT10Npack

OP, if you need help on an AA sponsor job is then read this.

http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

Armywife925

I've called everyday and she hasn't been answering or calling back. I go to 1-2 meetings a day, I've read the BB, read 12&12, have a home group, I do service and talk to newcomers. I stay away from people places and things, I call at least 3 other alcoholics a day, I've been reaching out a whole lot. I'll see people on meetings who raise their hand and when I go up they say they aren't available. I tell them I'm willing to turn my life over and do the steps and I get no response.

ACT10Npack

Armywife925, have you ever thought about using an addiction counselor? If you suffer with anxiety or depression then talk to your doctor about meds that can help.

Sapling

That makes no sense....Unheard of for me. Can you try a different meeting and do what you just described? I don't see one thing you are doing wrong...Most people would stand in line to find a sponsee like you. I don't get it.

Armywife925

I can try but I've been to most and I don't drive. If I find an addiction counselor, can they take me through the steps?

Armywife925

Act10n - I don't want to go on meds bc I have a history of overdosing

Sapling

I don't think meds is a great idea either....Do you think you could go to a different meeting? When they do announcements in the beginning...Introduce yourself....Say what you said before about the steps....That you need someone to guide you through them ASAP....Do you think you could try that?

keepfinding2

You should just go without a sponsor for now. I've found that they are overrated.

Squizz

God, I only wish I could have a sponsee like you. Half the people I help in AA only call me when they need something. As in........a ride to a meeting, a ride here, money for this, money for that. And guess what? They always end up getting drunk because they won't help themselves.

But that being said, I cannot turn my back on these people. Why, well for two reasons:

1)People did this stuff for me.
2)AA's "Responsibility Pledge"

If I don't do this sorta' stuff, I can start to think that "I'm not like you people. I don't need this program, etc.,etc."

Working with fellow alcoholics is crucial in my recovery, because it takes me outta' myself.

I can't quite figure out why nobody wants to sponsor you. Seems strange to me. That being said, where I'm from, finding sponsors isn't always the easiest thing.

And typically speaking, the people who are willing to sponsor you, probably shouldn't be sponsoring anyone.

Anyhow, good luck with your search! I'm sure the right fit will come along! Take care!

Armywife925

Thanks Squizzy. I talked to my sponsor who wasnt returning calls and she said she ran out of minutes on her phone -___-

Sapling

So what did she about moving on with the steps?

Armywife925

She didn't say anything about them but apologized for being MIA. I just want to do them ASAP or at least get to my 4th step. I don't know how to tell her that though

Sapling

Call her right now and tell her you want to put pen to paper.

sugarbear1

I strongly suggest you not just write your 4th step and stop. Move from 4 to 5 to 6 to 7 to 8 to 9. Stopping on any step is not where anyone wants to be--I've seen too many people relapse due to stopping on any of these steps. Move through with them, consistently. So, please make sure your sponsor has the time to help you through them!!

Sapling

She wants to start her fourth step SB. Can't stop anything if you haven't started it.