seethefuture

So, I've posted a few times - but I think I need to be more present in this forum for my own good.

I had a pretty good awakening today - not that I did not have a good idea as to why I drink - to get away from my thoughts, problems, etc., but this morning it was a more solid thought process. It helped that I saw a family member that I grew up with, and who was my roommate for a few years during our early 20's. She asked me, point blank, if I was afraid of being alone. And I realized that I am. This helped me do more thinking and it just hit me that I have the power to overcome that feeling, and to do the things I need to do in order to have a happier, more fulfilling life. And that drinking is just giving me a way to delay this work that I have to do in order to make this happen.

I know - duh, right? But somehow it clicked in the right way this morning.

Anyway, today's a new day, and I guess I should get down to business and start this process.

Sapling

What's the plan?

seethefuture

Well, that's what I'm thinking about today. I need to be busy during the times I would drink. I am coming up with ideas for that - changing my routines and things like that. I need to leave my husband, which requires money and a huge plan, as I have a 15 year old. I have a nutty schedule and live in a smaller city - so meetings may not work out - that's why I will be trying to at least read the forums more often even if I don't post. I find everyone to be very encouraging and positive.

I have a friend that is in recovery that I will call on to help me with this process. That's a start, anyway.

Sapling

That's a good start...Yeah...You'll get a lot of support here...Good place to come and read...ask questions...Or just vent if you're sitting on that next drink...We're here for you...Welcome to the family.

Zencat

I agree, empowering oneself with making better choices in life can have great rewards like living a happier, more fulfilling life drug free. It works for me as a once hopeless bottomed-out addict. It can work you .

Anna

Yes, the Aha moments come along from time to time and we can see things so much more clearly. Good for you for moving forward and starting to make a plan. I do think that reading and posting here will give you inspiration to carry on.

Firehazard

Way to go on taking a active roll in recovery. When we reach the

point of actually looking for solutions we find them and this site is a good one.

Dee74

Welcome back seethefuture

D

seethefuture

Thanks, everyone. I had a busy work day and time with friends. I was able to start talking to some of them about my life issues that are causing me so much pain and turmoil. It's interesting to get different takes on these things, and that is giving me even more to think about. I will have some alone time next week, and I am (at least right now) looking forward to it. I am a little worried that I will feel lonely and sorry for myself at some point, so I am going to make a plan for those times.