GypsyStar

I'm 24 years old, been dependent on drugs for about four years. Addicted to prescription pain killers for over half that time. Tired of this non-life I have formed for myself, wasting all my money on drugs, ruining every relationship and friendship and job I have been gifted with... I've tried a couple NA meetings, they usually just leave me feeling guilty and ashamed, talking to all these people who have been abused and raped and had horrible things happen to them that drove them to addiction, and me with no real excuse other than boredom and availability... feel like I can't discuss the issue with the people who could probably help me most (Mom, fiance, etc), again out of guilt/shame/not wanting them to feel responsible... idk, I don't know how to do this, the.only times I've ever quit before is when I couldn't find anything, and I got so sick I missed two weeks of work... just want this to be over nd I haven't even really started :[

BoozeFree

Welcome to SR. You'll find lots of support here. One thing that has helped me is joining the feb class where I can relate to people who got sober around the same time as me. There's a march class you may wanna check out.

Sapling

Welcome GypsyStar...I'd try a couple more NA meetings...Maybe a different place...Find one where they are talking about recovery and the steps and not how bad their lives have been....They're out there...I have quite a few friends that have recovered with NA...Find a good meeting and get a sponsor....It works...You just have to do the work.

Impurrfect

(((GypsyStar))) - Welcome to SR! When I first had a problem with drugs (opiates), I went to AA and NA meetings, most of the NA were about crack..something I was terrified of. Who'da thunk, I'd become a crack addict a bit later.

SR has been a HUGE part of my recovery. I found it doesn't matter what the person abuses, I can relate. I was trying to numb myself, and I did a lot of damage.

I've got 5 years in recovery, had lurked here for a couple of years, finally signed on when I had 6 months clean. I'm all over this board...codependency, ACOA, family and friends...I fit. When I first came here, I read and I read..then I read some more. I found out that I wasn't alone....neither are you.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

artsoul

Welcome GypsyStar -

My shame and guilt kept me from reaching out for a long time, too. I'm glad you're doing that today. It's way to hard to try to deal with addiction on our own.

Have you considered talking to a doctor about detoxing (one who's familiar with substance abuse/addiction) or going to treatment? When I went to rehab years ago, my family and husband worked to make it possible and everyone gave me so much support....... Just think about it, because your life matters. Addiction affects so many people these days - you're not alone, and you shouldn't feel bad about asking for help.

Just glad you're here (check out the section on Substance Abuse, too!):ghug3

GypsyStar

Thank you all so much... Today is my second day without, I feel very edgy and Moody but other than that okay... thank you all so much for your responses, I am really feeling like I don't have anywhere else to go.

Another thing that kinda rubbed me the wrong way about NA is the talk about God... personally I don't believe in a God, so its hard for me to relate to people who put so much trust in him. I wish there was another option to NA, but I can't find anything.

I can't afford any of the detox programs in my area, and there's one that is really affordable but they treat you with methadone, n that's the drug that got me into this mess in the first place. I can't afford suboxone or subutex, can't even afford the doctors visit.

I feel like I could handle the symptoms physically if I just had someone I could talk to... I don't want sympathy I just want someone who understands and my mom and my fiance never could...

Firehazard

: WELCOME

Terminally Unique

Check your private messages, GypsyStar. I sent you some information on an aggressive method of self-recovery, called AVRT, which does not require any change in your religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs. It is very inexpensive, and will literally cost you less than a six pack of beer. Sober Recovery also has the secular connections forum for non-12-step discussion, which may interest you as well.

Dee74

welcome to SR gypsystar

D

freshstart57

Hi, GypsyStar, and a have a nice big friendly welcome while yer at it. There is a whole pant-load of support here in any flavor you choose. The Secular Connections forum has been mentioned already, but there is also a forum for Substance Abusers, generally referring to prescription painkillers, but everything else too. Have a look around and make yourself at home.

Even before I registered here at SR, I read the forums here for hours and hours. From that, I learned that there are and have been many many others in exactly the same situation as mine, and that there was nothing special at all about me and my addiction. I found this comforting to know, that maybe what these folks did to get sober just might work for me. It did, and it is wonderful.

Keep posting, GypsyStar, we are all pulling for you!

Anna

Welcome, and we do understand how hard this is.

We are a family here and you will find lots of support.

Hevyn

Hi GypsyStar! We're so glad you're here with us. You're among people who know just what you're going through. I hope it relieves some of the stress to know you're not alone.

yo466

Gypsy-

Welcome to SR. This site is a great place for support and information. I have some sober time in now and I still come here and post and I was a lurker for a long time. Also I still see a therapist. It's a good way to talk to someone that is a professional and also who can view things from the outside and give you some perspective on things. Good luck to you and keep coming back.

IndaMiricale

Welcome aboard