Bruno1979

Hi guys,

I'm still going strong and I'm mentally fit to see out the weekend,

One question that's always been on my mind is what I've asked above. I've got a wife and young family so I need to stick it it for them alone.

If you were single though and had no ties. What motivated you into sticking at it? Does it take an health scare to motivate you?

I'm not intending on being single any time soon that's for sure,

What are peoples thoughts on this?

Thanks,

Bruno.

desertsong

I have a husband and two kids but even if I were single, I would not have wanted to live the way I was living ... the isolation, the despair, the hopelessness ... they would have been there even if I'd been all alone in the world.

But I DO have a husband and kids so I want to be there for them, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Health is part of the equation but not all of it.

Good job staying strong. You can get through the weekend without the booze!

Zee

A few people on here may possibly take a dim view of what Im about to type but... The ONLY thing that could have possibly stopped me drinking (and stay stopped) was the fact that my liver was about to pack in. If you want to read my first post "My Story" it will fill you in on the details. I have major respect for anyone who have stopped on their own accord and maybe some have had the same or similar health probs. I will be as interested as you to read the subsiquent posts.

Bruno1979

Desertsong,

That's a great answer and thank you,

How long have you been booze free now? And what is the drinking culture like over in wyomming? Did you drink at home or in bars?

Zee,

How bad did it get for you? Do you still miss drinking? I know that you can't drink and well done for saying no and surviving.

Sorry for all of the questions guys and well done for sticking at it.

This no booze world is almost as mad as the boozing world.

Nextchapter

Zee. I understand what you're saying. I have been going to my doctor for about 3 years and she didn't know why she couldn't control my blood pressure. I never told her.

Then my dad died last summer and I realized how much of life he had missed. His life WAS bourbon and he never loved anything or anyone as much as he loved his bourbon. I realized I didn't want to be like him.

I had a visit with my doctor about a month later and she said "I don't know why your blood pressure isn't under control with what you're taking". My blood tests had also come back with extremely high Triglycerides, which I was afraid of. It was 411. Freaked me out!! I said it's probably because I drink at least a half pint of vodka everyday. She was stunned. It was the first moment that I admitted it.

So I stopped drinking and things got pretty normal. She's happy with my BP and my bloodwork and triglycerides are in normal range ... (175 I think)

I have to say that I'm still struggling. I went to therapy and it helped but I had to stop because of the expense and I've relasped but I am SO determined!!

desertsong

Bruno, I'm on Day 17 now after 4 false starts in a year. The difference is that now I'm working a program (AA), and the program is working me! This is the last time I plan on doing this ... I will never drink again.

In Wyoming, the culture IS drinking. That's what people do here ... work hard, play harder. Alcoholism and drug abuse are real problems here. I'm not really sure why that is but there is definitely a "bar culture" here. That's where people hang out and socialize and when they party, they party HARD. I live in a town of less than 10,000 people, and I was told that at our local hospital there are 6 beds that are used for detox ... and that they are always full. I know because I was in one of those beds for a few days earlier this month. That has never happened to me before, but the nurses told me that they see the same people coming back to detox over and over again. And the irony is that there is a liquor store right across the street ... people get out of detox and then immediately make their merry way over to get their booze. Sad, really.

I went out to bars with my husband once in a great while, but mostly drank at home because I always overdid it and didn't want to drive or embarrass myself in public. The few times I did go out to the bars, I didn't have a very good time ... lots of very loud, very obnoxious people. They don't mess around here ... if they're gonna drink, they're gonna get slaughtered.

So grateful that isn't my life anymore.

Zee

Bruno, this time last year my legs and abdomen were filled with toxic fluid, so much that my skin was nearly breaking. Still I drank! I wasn't till august that my doc sent me to hospital as I was in a pretty bad way. I see alcohol now and it is pure toxic poison, now that I am thinking clearly and logically, Im amazed that it could ever have got that far, to make myself so ill! Actually, the mere smell of it turns my stomach and physically makes me want to wretch. So yes, a severe kick up the butt was required for me. But everyones different and have their own views and experiences! I have a husband, who, although was mildly supportive, still drinks now. Maybe he thinks he is a 'normal' drinker and hasn't learned from my mistakes. Ps I cannot even bear the smell of drink on his breath.. I can smell it a mile away... ugh!!!

Dee74

If you ever read my story you'll see I pushed the boat out right to the lip of the waterfall...thats what it took for the insane person I'd become then...but was it necessary?

I don't think so now.

Look back I had loads of opportunities to stop, to admit my problem, to get help....I just didn't take them...but I wish now I had...very much.

D

katrinka

I knew I had a problem with alcohol but it definitely was a health scare that made me quit. I almost can't believe I finally did it! My life has improved so much.

Phils69

I wish I had also Dee. Moving out tomorrow after 22 years of marriage and I can truthfully say 90% of the problem was my daily abuse of the Miller Lite. Man I wish I could make it right but it's too late now. Bruno what I'm saying is do not let it get to the point where u lose the things that matter most to you. Tomorrow will be a week and I have had some bad times but in the end it will be worth it. I'm saying never again.

sugarbear1

I was 50 last year, no health problems, already lost people in my life. Nothing was "making" me stop drinking, I was upset with what I had done to my life.

I just didn't like me and the way I handled life was by drinking a 6 pack a night (or more). I had no shakes, no "real" withdrawals. I live near Washington, DC. Lots of bars, lots of "partying" people around here. Lots of AA meetings available, too! My high school friends can be seen on facebook partying weekly then complaining about their "headaches" the next day, some are married, some aren't. They don't "seem" to have a problem! It's not about them, it's about me.

I'll be 51 in April. Today, I'm in awesome health and I have over 10 months of sobriety. Hopefully on May 16, 2012, I will "celebrate" one full year of sobriety. No weed, no alcohol. Finally!

eJoshua

I'm single and I didn't have any major physical health scares, but the emotional damage and mental anguish I was in constituted pretty serious psychological trauma. I think this may be something a lot of alcoholics don't realize until they've sobered up.

least

Same here. I was a mental basket case. Anxiety and depression thru the roof. Not paying bills or running my life, just letting everything slide. i woke up each day feeling like hell and wishing I were dead. Yeah, it was a health scare alright. I was afraid I was losing it.

michelle01

I've heard often that ultimately, you have to get sober for yourself, not for others. Each time I tried to stop drinking to please my family, I ended up resenting them and finding a way I thought to sneak around it. I had a few hospitalizations, physical and mental symptoms of alcoholism, a few accidents at home and a near aspiration of alcohol/vomit which can kill you. In my mid thirties, I knew it was only a matter of time before serious health complications set in (I started drinking later than most others, it can happen a lot earlier).

I think that I was going my crazy course until my survival instinct finally won out, I just knew that this wasn't the way I wanted to leave things. Sometimes a major health scare will prompt people into wanting a change, but I think you have to back it up by getting properly involved in recovery, on an ongoing basis.

keepfinding2

I just do it for myself.

Tobo

I'm 36 and single. Never been married. Had a few longer relationships but I agree it's hard when your single and don't have anyone else to let down. I always thought I would get married and have kids and then "grow up." this hasn't happened. I'm pretty lonely and find it would be easier to keep drinking and entertaining myself. I feel like a loser and really want a girlfriend. I constantly go to the excuses "'I'm ugly, a loser etc." but many people tell me I'm good looking, funny, and have a good professional career. I prob seek out the wrong types of girls and I'm guessing that partying like I'm 21 doesn't help. It would be nice to get drunk right now though

OCDDan

Dee, where is your story? you must have a million posts by now..

strawberrygirl

I'm 31 and single. I think the health scares helped me accept I was an alcoholic/addict; overdosed and been in the ER a few times, had a drunk driving accident early on. But honestly, I don't think I gave a you know what enough about myself enough for that to really deter me. In my case I was far more motivated by how my Mom in particular would feel if she lost me and just the hell I was putting her and my boyfriend through worrying about me all the time in general. I think an important part of my sobriety is developing the feeling that I'm doing this for myself. Otherwise I worry that I would lose it if anything happened to the people I love.

punkybuster

I cant get myself to say it out loud.....Kudos to you and keep on keeping on. It is all we can do. Thanks for sharing. I am so tired and sick with myself. WHY cant I stop??? I must remember to change my attitude. Every day is a new day and new beginning......I know this...just depressed right now and mad at myself-another 1/2 pint last night and out by 8pm...what a waste.

tomsteve

What motivated you into sticking at it?
seeing the people in AA who had recovered from the hopelss state of mind that made em drink and were happy and free.
that, plus the memories of the wreckage i left in my path for the previous 23 years of drinking, getting it from my head to my heart that alcohol was the #1 problem in my life, being able to see my way got me drunk and knowing if i kept goin like i was i was gonna kill myself or someone else.