New here - my story
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 174
New here - my story
Just an introduction since this is my first day here.
In Nov. of last year I chased down a few Vicodin with a 6-pack, followed by 3 more nights of heavy drinking. The morning of the 4th I woke up puking my guts out, followed by a host of symptoms which were glaringly liver-related. Since my alcohol / personality problems had already cost me a good living, I had little money and no health insurance. My symptoms were textbook alcoholic hepatitis. I was nauseous 24-7, had absolutely no appetite (a first for me, ever), was jaundiced, and even started suffering from what I believe to be minor hepatic encephalopathy (due to ammonia backing up in your bloodstream). Knowing the ER would only stabilize me, and that in most cases care was only supportive anyway, I was left with nothing to do but pray. I did my best to hide what I feared from my wife, but cried in private scared I was about to abandon her due to my own selfish actions. I tried to get life insurance, which of course I had never thought of up till now, but that would require a blood test, of course, and then they'd find out my liver was trashed. Sorry baby... but I'm dying, and I have nothing to leave you. That was what I had to offer my love.
With no other options, I decided that the only choice available to me was to try to heal myself. The night before I woke up sick would be the last time I drank alcohol. I stopped taking any & all medications, including OTCs like aspirin. I developed a strict diet for myself to follow which included tons of organic veggies/fruits and plant-based protien, and forced them down despite my nausea & loss of appetite. I drank loads of water, took milk thistle supplements, and added in other supposed liver-friendly foods like chamomile tea, tumeric, ginger, etc. Even though I was sick as a dog I started on an exercise plan as soon as I was able, focusing on cardio. Being overweight, I decided to slowly reduce my weight, as I'm sure my liver was quite fatty.
Fast forward 4 months, and I've lost 50 pounds (15 from being sick, the rest from my plan), my abdomen isn't swollen anymore (when this first happened it was distended & tender), my color has returned to normal, my appetite is back, and aside from the emotional problems dealing w/ sobriety, I'm feeling better than I have in a very long time. As far as I'm concerned, God gave me a second chance. I honestly consider it a miracle.
I actually feel I have it easier than most here... because I don't have the luxury of going back. If I do - I'm dead.
Anyway - I hope to be here for a while, both on the forums and the planet. We'll see how that goes (lol). Regardless, I look back now and I'm thankful it happened. It opened my eyes to who I really was, what my problems really were, and what was truly important.
Peace.
In Nov. of last year I chased down a few Vicodin with a 6-pack, followed by 3 more nights of heavy drinking. The morning of the 4th I woke up puking my guts out, followed by a host of symptoms which were glaringly liver-related. Since my alcohol / personality problems had already cost me a good living, I had little money and no health insurance. My symptoms were textbook alcoholic hepatitis. I was nauseous 24-7, had absolutely no appetite (a first for me, ever), was jaundiced, and even started suffering from what I believe to be minor hepatic encephalopathy (due to ammonia backing up in your bloodstream). Knowing the ER would only stabilize me, and that in most cases care was only supportive anyway, I was left with nothing to do but pray. I did my best to hide what I feared from my wife, but cried in private scared I was about to abandon her due to my own selfish actions. I tried to get life insurance, which of course I had never thought of up till now, but that would require a blood test, of course, and then they'd find out my liver was trashed. Sorry baby... but I'm dying, and I have nothing to leave you. That was what I had to offer my love.
With no other options, I decided that the only choice available to me was to try to heal myself. The night before I woke up sick would be the last time I drank alcohol. I stopped taking any & all medications, including OTCs like aspirin. I developed a strict diet for myself to follow which included tons of organic veggies/fruits and plant-based protien, and forced them down despite my nausea & loss of appetite. I drank loads of water, took milk thistle supplements, and added in other supposed liver-friendly foods like chamomile tea, tumeric, ginger, etc. Even though I was sick as a dog I started on an exercise plan as soon as I was able, focusing on cardio. Being overweight, I decided to slowly reduce my weight, as I'm sure my liver was quite fatty.
Fast forward 4 months, and I've lost 50 pounds (15 from being sick, the rest from my plan), my abdomen isn't swollen anymore (when this first happened it was distended & tender), my color has returned to normal, my appetite is back, and aside from the emotional problems dealing w/ sobriety, I'm feeling better than I have in a very long time. As far as I'm concerned, God gave me a second chance. I honestly consider it a miracle.
I actually feel I have it easier than most here... because I don't have the luxury of going back. If I do - I'm dead.
Anyway - I hope to be here for a while, both on the forums and the planet. We'll see how that goes (lol). Regardless, I look back now and I'm thankful it happened. It opened my eyes to who I really was, what my problems really were, and what was truly important.
Peace.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by GrowingDaily 
I don't have the luxury of going back. If I do - I'm dead.
Awesome deal Growing... I'm happy for ya.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by DayTrader
That's true for any alcoholic, though most of us don't realize it until quite late in the cycle. It's an awesome and freeing feeling though, isn't it? Knowing you CAN'T go back. It helped me quite a bit actually.... but I did actually go back - and that scared me. Every reason and a lot of knowledge to NOT drink yet I kept on drinking...... until I found a solution that worked.
Awesome deal Growing... I'm happy for ya.
Awesome deal Growing... I'm happy for ya.
I actually thought about editing that line about not being able to go back because I realized the same thing afterwards... it's no different from other alcoholics as you said.
I appreciate your words, because they remind me of what I know in my heart... one day, when the memory of this experience isn't quite as vivid as it is now, I may be tempted to revert to my old ways. I'll do my best to stay vigilant. Best wishes to you & your recovery.
But yeah... having the choice made for me, so to speak, has proven invaluable.
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