Don't know where to start....
 

Here I sit, with my decaf iced tea (to help my oral fixation) Tea is my daytime comfort, but I won't dare have caffine at night... My anxiety and insomnia are already kicking my butt!! I would drink a bottle of wine or 3/4 of a BIG BOTTLE a night. I often wonder how others "quit drinking" when NOONE else sees it as a problem!!?? I guess the same reason I "convinced all around me that my marriage to my alcoholic ex-husband was perfect" until the day that I woke up and decided that was not the life for me. Yet, even his very own family had NO IDEA he is an alcoholic. Maybe it is because his entire family are very sucessful functioning alcoholics themselves...Three months later my little brother died at 22 on a motorcycle. So, I found myself the epitome of what I HATED AND COULD NOT LIVE WITH ANYMORE. How do I justify leaving my daughter's (2 yrs old at the time, now 5 yrs old) father for "being that person" THAT I HAVE BECOME!!?? WOW, is this why I find it hard to stop??!! I am SO hard on myself when I am sober!! Why do I not feel like a million bucks?? Why do I feel like crying?? Shouldn't I have more energy? I even told my doctors HONESTLY how much I drink and they think it is OKAY!! How do I continue to change when others "adore" who I am NOW?? Why am I the only one that has a problem with ME drinking like that?? I should probably trust myself more than others... So, here I am... I HAVE TO CHANGE!! :tapping

Hi and welcome HelloWorld

I was surrounded by people who either drank like I did, or couldn't believe that I had a problem.

What they thought helped keep me drinking for a long time.

Eventually I came to accept that what anyone else thought was not as important as me knowing I did have a problem, and that I needed to do something about it.

It was probably the best decision of my life :)

If you're not getting the support you feel you need from people in your life, there's a ton of support here, and ideas on where to get other 'real life' support too :)

Glad to have you with us HelloWorld :)

D

Yes, absolutely, trust yourself. You know what's best.

One of the best things I learned from early recovery is that I know what's going on with me. It doesn't matter what others think about my choices. Part of my slipping into alcoholism was caused by paying attention to what everyone else thought about me. Now, I don't care, and I like myself.

I have been taking a shot of whiskey or two at night to "calm myself" but tonight I CHOOSE TO BE A DIFFERENT PERSON! I think that makes this day f'in ONE! I look forward to the inspiration and support!

Welcome HelloWorld82...I can't believe your doctor would think that amount of wine daily is OKAY...That's frightening.....Im not a doctor...I'm an alcoholic and that sounds like a lot of wine to me...Are you drinking right now?...Or have you stopped a few days?

I drink alone and none of my friends or my family had any idea how much I drank. I told my best friend only, and she was shocked! Even the people I usually see on weekends have no idea because I control it in public, but when I get home after a get together I pull out the bottle.

So obviously, I was the one that had the problem with how much I was drinking. I came clean with my mom, who was clueless, and my doctor who couldn't understand why she couldn't control my blood pressure until I told her it's probably because I drank a bottle of wine every night :)

I finally decided 6 months ago to change. I was sick of drinking my life away and I did great until 3 weeks ago. For some stupid reason I gave myself to permission to drink again and here I am. I need a new plan and I'll find it!

Hang in there, believe in yourself and your ability to change ... I do!

Sapling, I have gone a couple of nights this week with nothing to drink. And the other nights literally a shot of whiskey or two... Tonight it is none again. My doctor is very young... And maybe he is being cautious because I have only seen him twice and it was because of extremely high blood pressure. He is problem wanting to address the actually symptom first ;) either way... I am on my way at 30 years old.... I will not spend another 2 years of my life or longer like THIS... I would NEVER even socially drink before then and never understood why others liked it... Maybe I killed a few logical brain cells in the process of "accepting" and "trying to be accepted" by my new functioning alcoholic family.... maybe I can divorce wine the same way I divorced him!! hehehe

Probably not a bad idea...I guess you can't really ask your doctor about the safety of detoxing...As long as he thinks it's OK. Just be careful with that.

Welcome HelloWorld!

I agree with everyone else about trusting your own wisdom. (Besides, the healthy limit for women is 1 drink/day)...... When I started drinking a bottle of wine most nights, it got harder and harder to get out of bed and the anxiety/depression really got to me.

You're making a great decision to get out of the vicious cycle. Things are going to get better, so hang in there!:grouphug:

Hi Helloworld.

I was a bottle of wine every night drinker as well. Still am some nights. I have been reducing and struggling the past month or more here.

Welcome. There is alot of good advice and support here.

rochele

Isn't extremely high blood pressure symptomatic of alcoholism? I'm surprise the doctor is so dismissive when these two things go hand in hand. Maybe your doctor is an alcoholic or something. Nevertheless, I wish you the best on your road to recovery.

Hi, Helloworld.

No one else thought I had a problem, either, not even my ex-wife. I had them all fooled. But we can't fool ourselves. Or, I should say, if we're lucky we stop fooling ourselves. Far too many alcoholics deny themselves deeper and deeper into the abyss. So you should be grateful for that self-awareness. Ignorance, in this situation, is definitely not bliss.

It seems really dark and lonely right now, I know. It usually does when we reach the point where we decide we've had enough. But believe me, as scary and depressing as it might seem, you will look back one day and be so grateful you took this step. In fact, you'll celebrate this as one of the best things that ever happened.

Trust in yourself—you can do this, and you'll be super glad you did!

Welcome to SR! :)

Welcome Hello world!

This is a great place to start, here on SR.

I myself could easily drink a bottle of wine or two a night. I was and I was miserable. Terribly miserable. I felt totally out of control. The depression was horrible and I really hated myself.

I admitted to myself I had a problem and needed help. I had tried twice on my own and failed. I found this site and jumped in head first. I read and post a lot.

Its not easy in the beginning, but it gets easier. Just try. Come here and vent if you need to. Learn all you can. Drink lots of tea...hot tea is the only thing that helped me get through some cravings.

Glad you have joined us!