Cascabel

I don't know whether I am alone in this but I find that if I spend a lot of time on this forum it seems to keep thoughts of alcohol in the front of my mind. Don't get me wrong, I get a lot of support from reading posts here and it helps a lot. But, I find that it works better if I use this resource sparingly rather than often. I am now over a month sober and have been visiting this site every other day for about 20 min. I think that is just enough to help me keep in mind what I am trying to accomplish without keeping me too focused on alcohol. Anyone else have a similar experience?

BillyPilgrim

My advice would be what works for you? SR keeps me off booze, and has put the thought of a drink to the back of my mind
Are you reading the right posts ?
Is there something outside SR that keeps you not doing it?

DayTrader

I hear ya......

I felt the same way when I'd go to "middle of the road" AA meetings. The kind where everyone talks about their drinking and what it was like but never EVER talk about a solution.....or how to get past it......or how to recover.

I've been around a while so it doesn't bother me at all but I can TOTALLY identify Cascabel..... As for you, what are you doing - no drinking no matter what, not drinking for now, or are you working one of the recovery programs?

johnny2times

try offering some advice/support to the newcomers who are experiencing the difficulties that we did in the early days, share your experience and carry a message of hope for them, just like others did for you, there is healing in helping...

sugarbear1

I understand what you are saying, Cascabel. In early recovery, the thought of drinking came to mind every time I heard someone's story, it was hard to deal with. Today, I realize that I must help another suffering individual. I am a real alcoholic, it was life or death for me, I feel a strong need to try to help someone to overcome this affliction. On one hand, do I drink myself to a slow death and on the other hand, do I live a sober life and help another who is where I once was? I stick around SR when I can. Sometimes I've been here for hours, other times I needed a "break" as it all depended upon where my head was at.

Whatever works for you, follow your heart. Today, if someone is drinking, it doesn't bother me at all. I know I can't and don't want to go back to that horrible place. Drinking is just not an option.

I hope you are following some kind of recovery program. If alcohol was a problem for you, something must replace it. I don't fool myself today and think I am "normal" in regards to just not drinking. I must give back and help.

I wish you well!!

Terminally Unique

I can understand this, Cascabel. It doesn't really phase me at this point, but the only time I ever think about alcohol much is when I'm on this forum. Like DT, I prefer to see people recover, or people helping others do so rather than just sharing 'war stories' about drinking escapades or how bad it was. I do have to take breaks sometimes, but I also have a handy script that puts a "HIDE" button next to every single thread on SoberRecovery. So, if someone starts a thread that seems to me is not conducive to recovering, one click and it is gone. This helps a lot, at least in my case.

Cascabel

What am I doing? I have returned to an earlier mind-set, the one that sustained me through over thirty years of sober living. I quit drinking the first time for the same reasons I have quit this time; and, I'm determined that, this time, it will stick. I can't seem to describe the mind-set but I can feel it and recognize it. It is sort of a sense that I know that I am an alcoholic, that I can't control what I drink and that I can't drink at all if I want to live the kind of life I want to live and that I accept all of that. No recovery program beyond that. My two year lapse from sobriety came at a time when I thought my wife was dying; she has now, miraculously, recovered so the stress is no longer there. I also have learned that drinking is of no help whatsoever during such times of stress.

The BB talks of a sense of freedom or release that comes with acknowledgement of being an alcoholic; I feel some of that. But the way I feel now seems to go beyond just the sense of freedom; I see a clear path of contentment open before me that was not there while I was drinking. And, I like what I am feeling and living now too much to give it up. Also, I don't seem to have any strong cravings for alcohol any more; I just want to forget about it, for now and forever.

I feel fortunate that I was never a truly heavy drinker and that I have never had to suffer through withdrawal or detox. But, being honest with myself, I just never felt that I was in control once I had some alcohol in my blood. For me, quitting was largely a matter of breaking some destructive habits and associations rather than trying to tame a true addiction. Yes, I struggled for about a year before my "mind-set" came back but now, it is no more drinking for the rest of my life, period. Since I am in my mid-70's, that is not as daunting a prospect as it would have been were I in my 20's.

Threshold

I pick and choose threads carefully, first by title, then by where they seem to be heading. My sensitivity alters towards certain subjects varies according to what I am dealing with in my life or my recovery. There are forums here I need to avoid all the time, others just some of the time.

And yeah, some of the time I need to just take a break because everything seems like too much or just not the right thing.

I usually at least take a gaze over the newcomers forum to see what types of threads are there, usually something "speaks" to me.

eJoshua

I think I know what you are talking about, but I know for me coming here on SR and sharing my story and providing support for newcomers definitely helps to keep me sober. It's also my way of giving back to the recovery community for all the support I've received, both here and elsewhere.

I tend to check in here a couple times a day, but I do occasionally take breaks for a week or two, when other things take precedence.

Sapling

I love this site....One alcoholic helping another alcoholic...Who'd a thunk it?....I just thank God I have the opportunity to do that in person also...And for the people that were there for me when I was totally lost...And on the verge of just giving up on life altogether....I went to a five o'clock beginners meeting last night that's not my homegroup...But was the first meeting I ever went to...Just to share a little hope with someone who is where I was....Something about being useful in life just takes the idea of a drink right out of my mind....I've gone from useless to useful....What a trip...

DayTrader

Remember that one.... because unless you know you're going to go before her, you're going to have to deal with that same situation again eventually.



Well, as you said, that worked and worked well for you for many many (30) years. No reason it shouldn't work again. I'll tell ya what though.... I'm sure there are a LOT of ppl in recovery that could learn VOLUMES from your experience of long term sobriety, going back out for a couple years, then coming BACK to recovery again. I hear a lot of ppl in their 70's, 60's or even 50's say they're just "too old to do it again." I think you'd be proof positive that they're full of it!

Dee74

I think people have different reactions Cascabel.

I know when I first got here I thought about drinking a lot - but I thought about drinking a lot anyway.

I've heard others say the same about counselling and recovery programmes - confronting our addiction is uncomfortable - and it's no mystery to know what the first impulse for most of us is to feeling uncomfortable.

If you say not being here regularly works for you, Cas, I say keep doing whats working

I'm glad I reasoned all that out at the time and stuck with SR tho - it was definitely the right move for me.

SR saved my life.

I think anyone who thinks all we do here is swap war stories or stumble around the blind helping the blind and not sharing solutions is either being disingenious, or has *really* bad luck when it comes to the threads they read.

D

Terminally Unique

This place does have a number of people who do know what they are doing. I dare say, in a much higher concentration than at your typical recovery group meeting. No doubt some people must have to try real hard to tune out some good advice.

instant

SR has been a force for good in my life. I am here everyday, even if just for 10 minutes